Two idiots have been arrested for trying to sell Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez’s stolen wedding video back to them for $1 million.
The men tried to ransom the video after first shopping it around unsuccessfully to media outlets including People, Us Weekly and “Access Hollywood,” according to a criminal complaint filed against them.
Tito Moses, 31, and Steven Wortman, 49, were arraigned late Wednesday in Manhattan Criminal Court on charges of conspiracy, attempted grand larceny and possession of stolen property.
A copy of the celebrity couple’s wedding video was in a laptop computer that was in Anthony’s car when it was stolen in Linden, N.J., last October. The car was later recovered but the laptop was gone.
The mistake the two men made (besides being born with an IQ under 20) was trying to sell a wedding video half a year after the fact. Unless there was naked sex involved, the two men had a better chance of killing a ninja than they did of getting the video sold to a publisher. And believe you me, ninjas do not go down without some serious goddamned fighting.
fatgirl | December 30, 2005 at 6:46 am
Trying to steal a video of J.Lo getting married is like trying to steal one of Elephant Taylor’s engagement rings. J.Lo will make sequels to that movie, just not with Marc.
ShanDourdan | December 30, 2005 at 7:50 am
Lol! I actually feel a little sorry for the thieves, they obviously didn’t get the memo about no one giving a shit about miss JHo anymore.
turtlecock | December 30, 2005 at 9:26 am
I guess some cultures think the greasy skeletor rat look is sexy.
conceitedhipster | December 30, 2005 at 10:22 am
Not to pick, but it should be “thieves” not “thiefs” in the headline.
Tink | December 30, 2005 at 10:37 am
“A copy of the celebrity couple’s wedding video was in a laptop computer that was in Anthony’s car when it was stolen in Linden, N.J., last October.”
What was Marc Anthony doing in Linden, NJ? I live in NJ, actually I live in the town next to Linden. Why would he be there? Why in his own car? There is nothing in Linden for Marc Anthony unless he’s looking for some off the boat Polish lovin’. But judging from his choice in wife I’m guessing that dumb and Polish is less his type than an over-confident, pushy Hispanic.
Something’s wrong with this situation
WaitWhat? | December 30, 2005 at 12:49 pm
Ha ha…nobody wanted to see that sh*t.
archyros | December 30, 2005 at 1:02 pm
maybe he was visiting relatives…
lots of musical people come from NJ.
When I was a kid, my dad used to drag me along when he visited Nat King Cole (Natalie Cole’s father). Maybe the toxic waste mutates us into singers.
ZQ | December 30, 2005 at 3:02 pm
Marc Anthony in Linden?????!!!!!! That’s practically a few towns away from me! Nat King Cole in Jersey???
What Jersey have I been living in my whole life cause it can’t be the same place!
Do I really not pay attention that much?
APINK | December 30, 2005 at 4:54 pm
*yawn*
hafaball | December 30, 2005 at 6:58 pm
who the hell cares about her anyway, she’s a bizznotch.
Tha-Flash | December 30, 2005 at 7:27 pm
I know, I hate this girl.
Look at her in the pic, what a transexual.
OMG! | December 30, 2005 at 8:07 pm
Have you guys ever noticed how much she changes with each man? She totally changes herself and her image to fit theirs. Think of her when she was with Puffy (ghetto), then Chris (hip-hop), then Ben (WASP-ish), and now Mark (Latin). Pathetic! Get your own identity!
BadGoat | December 30, 2005 at 11:42 pm
I’m glad they got their wedding video back, time is running out; imagine how embarassing it would’ve been to get it back after their divorce.
Tania | December 31, 2005 at 2:56 am
Please Mr. Superficial, let us know when they arrest who ever did her hair in this photo!
derekd | December 31, 2005 at 10:55 pm
Thats an ugly motherfucker right there. Must have the golden cock or suntin.
Nurse Kellie | January 1, 2006 at 2:15 pm
She has no identity without a man. When she revamps herself she looks at what man would look good with the look she is going for at the time.
CheekyChops | January 2, 2006 at 8:29 am
JWho? Hopefully we left her and her simian features husband in 2005 and they weren’t able to squeeze through the 2006 portal.
blackblackheart | January 5, 2006 at 5:07 am
I disagree.
Even if there was sex in this tape, I still don’t think anyone would buy it. J.Lo — err… I mean -Jennifer Lopez- is getting pretty gross looking. Her breasts are sagging and her hips are far too big. On another note, Marc Anthony is butt fugly. This man is nothing compared to J.Lo –sorry again -Jennifer Lopez-, and “she” isn’t much.
ireland | September 15, 2009 at 12:21 am
i really like this i think it pretty cool!!!!!!!!!!