Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez wedding video thieves arrested
Two idiots have been arrested for trying to sell Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez’s stolen wedding video back to them for $1 million.
The men tried to ransom the video after first shopping it around unsuccessfully to media outlets including People, Us Weekly and “Access Hollywood,” according to a criminal complaint filed against them.
Tito Moses, 31, and Steven Wortman, 49, were arraigned late Wednesday in Manhattan Criminal Court on charges of conspiracy, attempted grand larceny and possession of stolen property.
A copy of the celebrity couple’s wedding video was in a laptop computer that was in Anthony’s car when it was stolen in Linden, N.J., last October. The car was later recovered but the laptop was gone.
The mistake the two men made (besides being born with an IQ under 20) was trying to sell a wedding video half a year after the fact. Unless there was naked sex involved, the two men had a better chance of killing a ninja than they did of getting the video sold to a publisher. And believe you me, ninjas do not go down without some serious goddamned fighting.