Malin Akerman’s Breasts Didn’t Stand A Chance

January 9th, 2014 // 17 Comments
Kneel Before Boob-Zod
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Because she’s surrounded by yes men who didn’t warn her that Kat Dennings‘ breasts would be there in all their majesty and splendor, Malin Akerman tried to make this outfit happen at the People’s Choice Awards last night which was a fool’s errand. She might as well have showed up in a habit. That’s right, like a nun. A nun who lays her sins at the holy teats of Kat Dennings I have no idea where I’m going with this post — but I like it. Later, a sacrificial bubble bath! Where all her nipple-sins will be washed away… (This should probably be a book, you’re right. I’ll make a call.)

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN


  1. Malin Akerman Cleavage 40th Peoples Choice Awards
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Only excuse I can find for the “T” in the middle is it’s a sign for confused 12 year old boys like a map in the mall: Tits are here!

  2. Malin Akerman Cleavage 40th Peoples Choice Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve just realised I have bigger boobs than her. And I’m a 44-year-old guy.

  3. Sliver

    I think she’s lovely.

  4. Please tell me Christina Hendricks was there to balance the boob scale against Kat Dennings. We can’t just have one pair of ginormous boobs. There must be balance.

    • Not to be a nitpicker over terminology, but one load of ginormous boobs isn’t balanced out by more ginormous boobs. That’s not balance, it’s excess. More ginormous boobs of course is always better than less, and excess is a helluva lot more fun than ‘balance’, especially when it comes to boobs. Personally, I’d prefer 100 pairs of Kate Hudson sized boobs over 2 or 3 pairs of Christina Hendricks sized boobs, even though the total mass is probably about equal.

  5. Way hotter than Fat Dennings. You’re just a chubby chaser.

  6. brick

    I’m a people and I choice Malin’s teats!

  7. Malin Akerman Cleavage 40th Peoples Choice Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny as feck and hot as Heck.

  8. I think Fish missed his chance to inject some hot button political discourse with this post – clearly, Ms. Ackerman’s tits are prominently displaying the ‘T’ at this awards show in support of Trayvon Martin. It seems obvious she is inviting us to show our support for Trayvon by motorboating her.

    • Johnny Barbells

      …another question; do you take your douche-icillin in daily pill form, or do you get the monthly injections?

  9. Malin Akerman Cleavage 40th Peoples Choice Awards
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Love her.

  10. Griefer

    Other than not tanning all of her boobs this dress works for her.

  11. yick, i dont know she looked great in Watchmen…but her face kills me, not hot.

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