Madonna’s new album cover will make you cry

March 14th, 2008 // 125 Comments

What you’re, unfortunately, seeing is the cover for Madonna’s latest album “Hard Candy” which will frighten small women and children on April 29. People reports the album is “about the juxtaposition of tough and sweetness.” Really? Because it looks more like the juxtaposition of an elderly woman’s obsession with lingerie and wrestling – while having a stroke.

Photo: People

  1. omg I think I just came in my pants FIRST

  2. HoHwPoV


  3. Mrah

    How photoshop has revolutionized the world.

  4. At least this is a step up from Steve O and the Hogan’s.

    Before he says it, I bet deacon Jones has partied with Madonna too..

  5. Sid

    Her eyes show their usual warmth.

  6. King Tubby

    Smells like mothballs

  7. Grandpa

    I keep telling her that everybody hates it when grandma decides to “air it out”

  8. @1 you so funny troll and you are still a loser..

  9. Auntie Kryst

    Wow, check out the belt. I didn’t know she was a boxing champ too. She has many talents. Comments Randal?

  10. kol

    Madonna is still so sexy!!! She is my favorite. It is said she is datign friends online. Her sexy photos and profile are found on What is she looking for there?

  11. mike

    lol@ #1 – it’s true, you have to throw in typos to make it seem like the real Jimbo, but most of the time he gets his own name right. His shirttail might be sticking through his zipper, and he might have some good-lord-don’t-ask stains on his pants, but he can spell J-i-m-b-o (albeit while singing to himself “and Jimbo was his name-o”).

  12. Yng Freezy

    This is the absence of hot. I know it sounds kind of gay, but I don’t want to atre into her crotch. It probably smells like ben-gay, or some other ointmen/salve for achey old joints. Maybe that’s what she should have called her album “Achey Old Joints.”

  13. Ang

    Her pussy has an English accent now. Meaning, it’s yellowed and rotting yet inexplicably stuck-up.

  14. HuckyDucky


  15. @11 That is pretty funny coming from the biggest shit stain on this site. How many typos are in this post asshole? Keep counting, it equals your IQ. Why don’t you go back to your goat and put a little peanut butter on that thing you call a penis and enjoy your afternoon in the barn..

  16. @15 Why don’t you trolls find something more important to do like sniff your grannies panties and think about Madonna?

  17. @16 Just give it a rest you fucking troll.

  18. Pepe

    I thought Madonna would clean herself up after having kids. Madonna loves to take pics with her legs wide open. I’m sure her kids are embarassed by the pic.

  19. Chupacabra

    it’s time she let it GO, man. What the hell? After 35 you are not allowed to look like that unless its in the privacy of your bedroom. She’s like 900 years old. Yea, the candy’s hard. It’s been sitting in my grandmother’s candy dish in the living room for 80 years for christ sake. no one EATS that candy… it’s just for show.

  20. my eyes... the goggles, they do nothing!

    Is this a counting crows cover album or what? Or is her crusty clit the “hard candy?”

  21. shanipie


    Well atleast now I know to not look at this site until I’m done eating

  22. Sandykat

    Hehe, you can see the girdle straining to hold in her aging paunch.

  23. We can be thankful that it isn’t Britney’s new album cover..

    @13- hahahaha!

  24. JimmyBachaFungool

    Do you realize how many blisters, mushrooms and viruses are staring at us with those legs open. She is a skank that blew her way to the top.

  25. hausfrau

    Yuck. That is all.

  26. my trolls can all drink Mike’s douche water.

    I’m the real Jimbo, and I approve this message.

  27. me

    next up: Mikes mom joke to jimbo.

  28. tight lipped smiler

    The British, whom Madonna delights in purporting to be, have a rather lovely expression that cuts one into crumpet sized bites to go with one’s afternoon tea: “Mutton dressed as lamb.”

  29. inishscull

    I wonder how the Counting Crows feel about Madonna stealing their album title?

  30. Good morning Jimbo, and Jimbo trolls..

    F-R-I-S-T- and FRIST!!! was my name-O

    Hey that’s kinda fun..

  31. Fumus

    I don’t care Madonna is friggin’ awesome, and still sexy as hell!!


    Sorry I thought we were talking about Jessica Alba.

  32. mike

    Jimbo@15 – actually most standardized IQ ranges don’t go below 50. But I am impressed to see that when you concentrate, you can write flawlessly. Or bother to turn on your spell checker. Either way: kudos! I will return that helmet I bought you for your birthday.

  33. all together now

    “Good morning, Frist. (show us your tits)(who said that?)”

  34. I ba need da helmet? Tank ooo!!

  35. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    *throws up* old people are gross

  36. Zim

    Right under the fabric at her crotch is a tiny picture of her husband along with the words “please help me”

  37. Super Delegate

    @26 Repeal Troll rights, vote Jimbo for honesty and change.

  38. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    Dear fish guy,

    can we please get a new post ASAP before she sprouts a penis.

  39. Andy

    Fish dude – please make the next one an Amy Winehouse story with LOTS of pictures.

  40. aja

    Seeing her age makes me feel old.

    Where is her dignity?
    Enough already lady.

    @# 13 – your comment was the fucking best! hilarious! lmfao..

  41. Madonna looks great for her age… Madonna looks great for a woman half her age even without photoshop. She takes really good care of herself and that photo is by Steven Klein who is my favorite photographer. I don’t know why people pick on Madonna so much. Her music is actually pretty good and she continues to develop as an artist after all these years.

  42. meanmofo

    Dude I was seriously in the middle of eating my lunch!! There’s no way I can finish it now…

  43. @37, That was a troll. I have been at lunch for the last 50 minutes..

    @32 Mike, Where is the spell check on this site?

    @30 FRIST-O how are you this morning??

  44. Sandy

    #41 – I clicked on your link and went to your site. You’re gay. You love Madonna. I’m shocked.

  45. slapmesilly

    She looks good for being a 102…..

  46. Well, Jimbo, it’s freakin’ FRIDAY, so I’m pretty happy.
    Haha Freaky Friday.
    Haha where’s Blohandjob??

  47. Sue

    Probably all the Metamucil isn’t helping how she smells down there.

  48. Ted from LA

    Madonna is starting to remind me more and more of Bea Arthur… that, or Aunt Bea.

  49. Spazz

    I wish i hadnt seen that. Makes me long for a skanky pic of Shitney. Madonna = put a fork in yourself and do us all a favor.

  50. LOL at Aunt Bea!! Haven’t heard that name in a while, what are you my age or something??

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