Madonna’s got this whole ‘Mom’ thing figured out

May 14th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Madonna weighed in on Britney Spears’ lack of a normal childhood and blamed it as the cause of her insanity. Fortunately, Madonna’s kids have absolutely no interest in fame, according toPeople:

In fact, they clamor for a “normal mom.” Asked if they give her a hard time for working so much, Madonna say, “Yeah! ‘When are you coming home?’ ‘Why are you always working?’ ‘Why can’t you just be like a normal mom?’ I just remind them about all the things that they have, and that if I didn’t do what I did they wouldn’t have those things.”
So what are the perks? “They get to travel a lot, they get to do a lot of interesting things and meet a lot of interesting people. Usually that shuts them up.”

Way to be, Madonna! You truly kick ass at being a mom. Because nothing produces well-rounded children like teaching them material objects are the key to happiness and are a suitable replacement for a mother who’s got more important things to do then spend time with you. It’s practically a wholesome family episode of Leave it to Beaver. Except this one ends with Lourdes snorting coke off of Joe Francis’ coffee table.

NOTE: Glad to see Madonna covering up “The Guns of Navarone” while in public. THANK YOU!

Photos: Splash News

  1. ph7

    Her cooter is nothing but cobwebs and dust

  2. ErikThaRed

    What the fuck is that beast thing that is walking with her in the last picture?

  3. Jodi

    I’m really glad that I’ll never have sex with Madonna, or Elvis Pelvis beside her.


  4. Madonna is the only semi-sane celebrity out there. Love her.

  5. Lord of Bacon

    I bet her kids also clamor for a mom thats female.

    No more Madonna pictures before dinner Fish, I beg you…

  6. veggi

    It’s easier to be a good mom when your daughter can be rented out as a helper monkey:

    For some (UGLY!) reason, I don’t (UGLY!) think that (UGLY!) Madonna’s daughter’s (UGLY!) major problem with be (UGLY!) her childhood experiences…

  7. jake

    hilarious, looks like that albino guy in the train on end of days with arnie shwarzenheimer.

  8. Chupacabra

    My mom never said that.. she just said, “I have to work. Someone around here has to pay the godamned bills, now go fix mommy dinner, I’m too tired to eat.”
    Then, soft snoring in the background while her car keys fall gently to the floor.

    Meanwhile, my dad has been sleeping in his chair since right after the 6 o-clock news…which he watched right after coming home from work…


  9. Auntie Kryst

    So when is Madonna going back to Africa to steal another baby? The one she has now is getting too big to cuddle..

    PS “Except this one ends with Lourdes snorting coke off of Joe Francis’ coffee table.” Great one Fish!

  10. M.D.

    The thing next to her is a genetic knockoff that Madonna sprouted in her basement, so she could have a source of new organs whenever she needs them. They work out together to keep the tissues saturated with nutrients.

  11. pathetic

    What a joke she is. “I won’t be a mom to my kids but I’ll give them all kinds of material things”. She didn’t have a mom and look how she’s turned out. Those kids don’t have any love, but hey they get to travel and meet other screwed up celebs! Yippee! I wouldn’t trade places with them for all the money they have. They’ll be in rehab by age 16.

  12. What the FUCK is that thing in the red tank top walking next to her????????

  13. Oh, sorry #2, you covered that already..

  14. wren

    Yikes. The face closeup pics are really harsh. Even with that melted thing beside her for contrast.

  15. Jumpin_J

    What’s wrong with Madonna’s “guns”? I’d rather see hers than Amy Winehouse’s anyday.

  16. FCS

    Before Maddona came around entertainers actually had to have talent, you know be able to sing, write music, play an instrament etc. So she opened the door for all the Britneys and Blohans of the world.

    And for this she should die. Painfully

  17. Ang

    I think it was a mistake for Hayden Panettiere to slim down. And become Madonna’s lesbian workout partner. And take her leftover steroids.

  18. Jimbo your midget called. She’s done with the horse screwing and ready for your peanut shaped flacid pasty worthless dingaling.

  19. #18, who are you, and how in the fuck do you know I just emailed Jimbo??

  20. anne

    I continue to loose respect for Madonna. With as many children as she has now and as much money she has there is NO reason why she needs to work as hard as she does OUTside of her family. The best place to invest your time and money is in your children. They would STILL be able to travel and meet interesting people.


  22. newlysingle girl(fuck)

    nice bod.

  23. David

    haha I wish she could see what you have written..

  24. Wow, Rene Zellweger is looking really tasty in that last picture.

  25. When my daughter complains about me working too much, I stick my cock in her mouth. Usually that shuts her up.

  26. BunnyButt

    Went to see grandma on Mother’s Day. Grandma is 80 years old, weighs about 75 pounds, and is at death’s door. Madonna’s hands look just like hers.

    BTW, why is Madonna dressed like a 13 year old boy?

  27. Sid

    I’m figuring the thing in the red isn’t really with them, it just came up through the sewers while they were walking home.

  28. Did someone say 13 yr ol boy?

  29. badge

    gross, joe francis that rapist

  30. tanya

    Nice fucking shorts grandma.

  31. Gits

    Yeah, Madonna should spend lots of time at home, sure, she seems so sweet and caring and likable…how many times do you think this type of scene has happened already?

    “No… wire… hangers. What’s wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you: no wire hangers EVER? I work and work ’till I’m half-dead, and I hear people saying, “She’s getting old.” And what do I get? A daughter… who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her… as she cares about me. What’s wire hangers doing in this closet? Answer me. I buy you beautiful dresses, and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do. Three hundred dollar dress on a wire hanger. We’ll see how many you’ve got if they’re hidden somewhere. We’ll see… we’ll see. Get out of that bed. All of this is coming out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. You’ve got any more? We’re gonna see how many wire hangers you’ve got in your closet. Wire hangers, why? Why? Lourdes, get out of that bed. Get out of that bed. You live in the most beautiful house in London and you don’t care if your clothes are stretched out from wire hangers. And your room looks like some two-dollar-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Michigan. Get up. Get up. Clean up this mess.”

  32. BunnyButt

    Also, is it my imagination or is Madonna starting to bear a strong resemblance to Voldemort, especially when she’s wearing shades?

  33. hot mess

    she should’ve taken a cue from mariah

  34. bosendorfer

    madonna’s a good business person and understood objectifying herself as a symbol made her powerful. her present condition illustrates a lack of understanding…she’s really teetering on the line now, between aging superstar and silly/grotesque “carnival dog.” it’s difficult when the attention recedes. no amount of money or security assuages the emptiness — even children and motherhood don’t. too much success, too much attention, the imbalance creates something wholly unstable. more masculine than feminine, ambition and vanity incarnate, what are her motives now? where is she heading? look at her.

    where are my happy pills?

  35. Joco

    Okay so she doesn’t have enough money so that she can spend some time with her children? Since she doesn’t haven’t enough time for her own children, she goes and steals another one from Africa.

  36. President Bill Clinton

    Aw look, the keeper is taking her shaved monkey for a walk down Ugly Street.

    Shiver. That creature in pink in the last photo is enough to drive me back to Hillary.

  37. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    She looks like John Lennon in a blonde wig here, eat some pie Madonna, you are too thin.

  38. Badhouscat

    The Father can take care of the children too. He doesn’t work much. Many mothers work outside the home. The Father can pick up the slack.

  39. Anon

    He probably does badhouse but thats not the point is it.

    Think back to all those years we’ve had kids saying to dads “you work too much”.
    By your definition it didn’t matter because the mother “picked up the slack”

    They want to spend time with their mother.

    A simple concept, I would’ve thought.

  40. Lola1

    “Her cooter is nothing but cobwebs and dust”

    As if you’re half as interesting

  41. Lola1

    “Since she doesn’t haven’t enough time for her own children, she goes and steals another one from Africa.”

    Is your brain brown, clogged ?

  42. Sheva

    Children being children would like to have a relationship with their parents and spend time with them. That’s just normal.

    Being that Madonna has more than a hundred million clear, of course she has to leave home to take trip ‘to work.’

    Work is what whores call it these days. I have to go work kid. STFU.

  43. Allie

    That’s sad. Rather than listening to what her kids are saying, she’s reminding them of what they have, like they don’t need her around. Her kids are going to grow up and resent her for it.

    So they better be grateful and shut up, right?

  44. Joco

    She looks repulsive, like a dried up prune. What kind of fool would admit to being a fan of hers? What’s up with the sk8er boi shorts? Act your age, granny.

  45. Danklin24

    Way to go Madonna.

    Whats that honey, you want quality time with mommy? Well piss off you little runt, mommy has to work so she can buy you that llama and million dollar sports car when you’re old enough to drive. You do want the most extravagant lifestyle possible dont you you little shit!? Now, go play with that fork and electrical outlet, mommy’s got work to do. Fuckin brats!

  46. dude_on_a_wire

    The cat woman is most likely pissed that Madge has passed her in sculpting the perfect feline appearance.

  47. Anon

    Am I the only one who thinks Danklin24 has raised a very good and persuasive argument?

  48. kittysue

    That thing with her britches falling down is her trainer. They sure do get photographed together quite a bit. Spare me the stupid Ed Hardy baggy capris, Madge.

    I have to say – I do appreciate her candor. She is the frickin’ material girl, after all, and she doesn’t seem to be spending all her time partying.

  49. Who Cares

    No talent, can’t sing in key if her live depended on it and the older she gets the more and more she looks like a fucking fugly man.

  50. char

    Ok this from a “MOM” who gave her daughter a $10,000 credit card to teach her about managing money?? PLEASE sit down Madonna before you hurt yourself. Neither you nor you children have a clue about ‘normal’

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