Madonna’s divorce: It was the horse’s fault
Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage hit the skids in 2005 when Madonna was injured in a horse-riding accident. Apparently Guy didn’t fawn over Madonna enough which has been the crux of every single fight they’ve had since, a family friend told The Sun:
“If you can pinpoint an exact event or incident which spelled the death knell for them as a couple, Madonna’s horse-riding accident was it. Every other row the couple had following that boiled down to what happened that summer.”
The family friend said: “Madonna was in a huge amount of pain and expected Guy to drop everything to be at her bedside. In her mind that is what every husband should do to support his wife when she has been through a traumatic, possibly life-threatening, experience. But Guy approached the whole thing in what she now calls, ‘A very British way’.”
Madonna is now swearing off all British men because, as we learned yesterday, they’re “emotional retards:”
Pals say Madge …. now blames her man’s “no-nonsense” approach to their marriage on his British public school upbringing.
She says he was “typical of emotionally-stunted British men” and refuses to ever date another Brit. The pal said: “Madonna’s convinced British men are light years behind Americans when it comes to emotional honesty and sophistication.”
I’m sure all the English fellows are deeply saddened to learn they won’t be having sex with Madonna. I’m kidding, of course. They probably feel like they won the lottery – except instead of cash they won not Madonna’s vagina. Huzzah!