Madonna’s crotch wants to sell you a purse

January 6th, 2009 // 137 Comments

Here’s Madonna in the latest Louis Vuitton ad, and what the decaying hell are these people smoking? I seriously doubt anyone is looking at this photo and thinking to themselves “Oh, wow, a vag-cophagus. I suddenly need a new handag.” Unless Louis Vuitton is aggressively courting the elusive “Gay Paleontologist” market. In which case, jackpot!

Photo: Louis Vuitton
superficial

  1. Mark

    The horribleness of this ad will haunt my nightmares forever

  2. Mark

    The horribleness of this ad will haunt my nightmares forever

  3. toolboy

    Wow, a leather purse and a leather vagina. That bitch has everything.

  4. tp

    Nutcracker!!!!

  5. ad agency

    “New from Louis: ‘the box’. It reeks of tuna all while telling the world: I like to spend my money on dead cowhide. Hot, you bet. Sexy, beyond belief.
    Here’s Madonna with her box. Notice the sleek sophistication of ragged panties found in a back alley dumpster, the overwhelming sense of romance implied by a woman with her legs spread far and wide on the seat of a city bus… Louis… ‘the box’… get yours today.

  6. whatarethose

    What is it about her the totally creeps me out?! It’s like my grandma trying to be ‘sexy’, ewwww.

  7. Consider the customers. You could put a photo of whale shit at the bottom of the ocean as the advertisement, just as long as you put those stupid fucking patterns somewhere on it. Ah, Louis Vuitton! Now that’s nice!

  8. Angry Beaver

    I swear to God if you’ll just close your legs I’ll buy a purse. Ten purses. A hundred. Whatever it takes. Shut the black hole down before we’re all sucked in!

  9. Hollywood

    DUDE!!!! A little heads up there. I am sure that the creature from Tremors lies beneath those shorts.

    I have to go vomit now.

  10. BeaArthur

    I’m waiting for someone to Photoshop the individual faces of the Golden Girls on there. That would make it more tasteful.

    This is disgusting. She’s old and smells like stale cheese.

  11. Savalas

    I smell fish and mothballs.

  12. Deuce Bigalow

    But what will we do with all of the vomit?

  13. lulu

    hey fish, its handbag not handag. :)

  14. p0nk

    must be made of very durable leather to withstand that kind of assault. I’ll buy one (the purse, not the vag).

  15. Celine Motherfucking Dion

    I love how the commenters on this site make fun of her old age – it’s fucking great. Eventually more and more people will laugh at her, and it will eventually drive her into retirement where she will end her days being a bitter, but inconsequential hag.

  16. KG

    It’s not that she’s “old”. It’s that she is NOT aging well. I know numerous 50 year old women who are a LOT better looking than Madonna. I’m not sure they were “hotter” than Madonna 25 years ago, but they sure as heck are now.

    The problem for Madonna is that her appeal was always about sex and breaking rules. When you get to be 50, it’s time to fall back on actual talents, if you have any. Unfortunately, she doesn’t, really, except for self-promotion.

  17. Sid

    It’d be a great ad campaign if they were selling tuna-scented steel wool.

  18. @16

    Guy, is that you?

  19. Oh my gawd…I think I just puked in my own mouth…. *yack*

  20. Deacon Jones

    Hit it.

  21. Henry

    She’s so classy, in a traditional American way. We’d be so sad if she returned to the land of classy women (like Britney Spears) and deep thinkers (like George Bush).

  22. Uncle Eccoli

    @7

    Whale shit doesn’t float?

  23. Douchie, weren’t you discovered by a gay paleontologist in a large copralite bed?

  24. Ha ha ha!

    #17 Ha ha ha! Simple and hilarious.

  25. allie

    haha handag

  26. the pixinator

    That outfit looks like the sofa declared war against the drapes and the window sill. Madonna’s head is the mushroom cloud.

  27. Mr. Jones

    The side of the handbag closest to the vajayjay looks like its melting… or being sucked in. I refuse to look closer to verify. Plus my video card is shooting sparks as we speak.

  28. Wahts that smell

    You can smell it from here….

  29. havoc

    Kind of like an old Bowflex.

    You just end up hanging shit on it…..

    .

  30. bete noir

    Really Madonna, are we gonna have to look at your old ass crotch until you’re 80? Come on!

    Give it a rest bitch! Time to leave the crotch shots for the young’uns.

    Think of your children, girlfriend!

  31. Ted from LeMars

    Super pussy! Super pussy! Super pussy!

    Come to think of it, I’ll have the soup.

  32. @22

    No sir. Sinks like a rock. The only exception is whales that don’t feed specifically on krill.

  33. cleanup crew

    Hey, does anybody know if Monistat will stain dark leather upholstery?

  34. Jana

    I am so tired of seeing her crotch….so tired….zzzzzzzzz……puke…..zzzzzzzz……puke

  35. SouthAfricanHotti

    i love this pic….. pretty artsy….most of u bums here wouldnt get it!

  36. dictionary

    SouthAfricanHotti: black person with burning tire around neck.

  37. SouthAfricanHotti

    @36

    IS THAT IT? REALLY? IF U TRYING TO B FUNNY AT LEAST MAKE SUM SENSE!

  38. SouthAfricanHotti

    @ 36

    REALLY? Is that it? if u r tryin to be funny at least make some sense first….

  39. veggi

    Yes, it’s an artsy picture all right. I think I saw it at a Motel 8.

  40. This add is suppose to make me want to spend 3,000 on a purse. Only 3 percent of the US population can truly afford this over priced purse while the others go into credit card debt.

  41. AJ

    #16
    Madonna never had natural beauty and relied on make up and dying her hair blonde (a lot of plain or ugly females dye their hair blonde to put more focus on their hair and not their face.) Basically Madonna used sleaze appeal to attract fans.

  42. Thats what you call a crotch rocket superfish, how many guys you know can ride it and hang on?

  43. yak

    she needs a good clean between those legs, I dont thing madrod with her legs spread to the cameras will make the slightest differences to any sales, infact as a fan of Vuitton Im really put off by this, its a disgusting shoot and so B grade, they have airbrushed these images to the point that madonna literally looks younger than her daughter. cant quite work out what the promotion was for and why choose a 50yr old, Vuitton Old-Bag promotion? that gives the ads new meaning, .

  44. belinda

    I think this would have to be Louis Vuitton biggest mistake.
    shes vile and a cougar who always talks about cleaniness and purity and changing the world stop kidding yourself madonna. close your legs and work on yourself first.

  45. Looks like she’s offering to house a few Madagascar fruit bats.

  46. michelle

    One word:

    GROSS!!!!!!!!!

  47. grayson

    what holds more, the purse or her crotch?

  48. The Laughing G-D

    “Unless Louis Vuitton is aggressively courting the elusive “Gay Paleontologist” market. In which case, jackpot!”

    Nice.

  49. Sgt Carter

    I love the smell of rotten old crotch in the morning

  50. sarah

    those are the weirdest shoes i have ever seen.

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