Madonna’s children must only play with toys that are ‘spiritually and ethically sound’

November 11th, 2008 // 132 Comments

Above is the set of rules Madonna sent Guy Ritchie whose sons, Rocca and David, are with him in London. Jesus Christ, does this lady have some balls. Scope out some of these demands (via The Daily Mail):

1. All water must be Kabbalah-blessed water.
2. No man-made fibers in their clothing.
3. No newspapers, magazines, TV or DVDs.
4. Guy Ritchie must not be photographed in public with them.
5. David has to be read the English Rose books (written by Madonna) every night before bed.

So, basically Guy Ritchie has to carry his kids in a shoebox full of Kashi and Madonna books. There’s Holocaust survivors reading this post going “Wow, what a bitch.”

Photos: Daily Mail, WENN

  1. Sarah

    Many children have allergies to man-made fibers. This could be the case as to why she doesn’t want them exposed to them

  2. Lexoka

    So basically, her kids aren’t allowed to watch or read anything unless it’s her crappy book. Wow. What are they supposed to do all day, anyway? Does she want to turn them into vegetables?

  3. Cliff Clavin

    Alex = writing from the home office of Madona’s publicist.

  4. ss

    u guys are so ridiculous!! i dont believe that u guys believe in this crap!!this is all lies.what a fuking joke.they play in every where.with every toys they so ridiculous and u guys are more cause u believe in this.madonna is a very intelligent woman she studies kaballah but her religion is catholic.kabalah is not a religion is a way of life.she does yoga and pilates on kabalah.stop publish this crap of how great she looks for 50 and how good mother she is.guy is all drunk.he is not a good father.she change the country for him she did everything for god madonna was so stupid cause guy is a pig.a golddigger.madonna u are the best

  5. sla

    If I were Guy I would give the kids a steady diet of twinkies, bacon and mountain dew while they wore spandex jumpsuits and played Grand Theft Auto with grandma and grandpa and drank TAP WATER.

    There is being a concerned parent, and then there is being an overly controlling dictator. Will these kids become teenagers who fondle their red wristbands and say gee, mommy really loved me a lot, or are they going to tape pictures out of her sex book on the wall and throw darts at them? Time will tell.

  6. Cliff Clavin

    #54 SS – Nice job butchering the English language. A grade three education I assume? Typical Madonna fan.

  7. www

    madonna a loser??ahaha ridiculous.madonna is the only winner.she is the best on world business ahe is the most best seller artist of US THIS YEAR she is the most best seller artist of all time.came on .she is perfect.this kind og NEWS ARE SO UNTRUE.she is not like that.if u know her u will find out.u guys want to do bad jornalism so u do it cause that what it is bad news.madonna is a very smart woman,the most smart by the way.madonna never did that,madonna and guy are laughting of u right now.she is the most perfect woman,.she is a goddess.she is so good that she never had a break down on her career.madonna is simply fun .honest,tshon katshor said that madge is the most funniest person that he knows.she is really good in person.

  8. Eric

    Cheeseburgers, Grand Theft Auto, weed, ring-dings, South Park marathon.

    Just do it, Guy.

  9. Walter Mondale

    U = you. Type the extra two fucking letters!!!!!!

  10. SEWEW

    u guys really believe in guy??lol.he is drinking cause he can forgette is missus.he love madonna so much i know him ,and madonna feels the same way about him.they are palls.and madonna is not like that.she is very perfectionist in her job but in home she is just so sweet ,a good mother a good wife.i think guy did something to fuck the marriege.madonna is not a freak and she does everything to protect her family.if she was that freak that u guys bekieve ,she wouln t have so much friends and all sayig that she is an amazing person,extremily fun.guy took her from her friends,didnt like gays people ,stop sayin crap about her cause she is a awesome woman and all respect her so much and she is a volcano in stage even sean penn plays with”now he can a good director”lol.he never was

  11. aa

    this is so unbeliveble that guys spokesman said that is guys are like that with ur fuckin mother.u are ridiculous.madonna is the best.britney is a freak and u guys like her.she puts her kids driving in front on car and she cut her hair.she take that is crap woman.madonna never did that.she is a smart lady.very strong.look at her career.she is is lkike her.i study her on school.see hoe good she is.madonna is the best damn thing.she is the QUEEN.and her kids love her.and madonna and guy still really great palls.every notice about them are false.their spokesmans said that.

  12. ivan

    That loony old bitch needs to pull the broomstick out of her ass and let it breathe.

  13. #57/60: please, this is too hard to read. AIDS is a terrible disease and often in the late stages it involves brain infections, causing the type of dementia you clearly exhibit. I’d have more sympathy for you but by the 500th cock you really should have slowed down a little bit. Find a nice hospice, preferably one with a very pleasant environment free of distractions, like, say, the internet.

  14. Nicky

    Madonna’s kids are going to go out of control once they leave for college. They will see all Madonna’s whore videos and whore book where she was nude in a lot of pics. Her children are going to be so embarrassed. They will become enthralled by Satellite TV and tabloid magazines.

  15. Bethany

    Hey psycho illiterate Madonna fan – we know Madonna better than you do. She was a fucking psycho control freak BITCH with a heart of stone when she was a teenager and nothing has changed. People like that treat their kids as props. Guy should kidnap them for their own sake, before they accidentally see their mom’s veiny penis and are traumatized for life.

  16. GUY

    not a typical madonna fan.but this is really untrue.madonna is not like that. u are not a fan but she is not freaky.britney is freaky and mariah that tried to kill u think if thats is true the kids were so happy??dont u see her documentary?they were playing with everythink ,i got pictures of them eating ice creams .playing on gardens,etc.and madonna said that they dont read her books just when they came out of course

  17. Mandy

    She forgot to say that Guy shouldn’t show the kids pictures of the NYC apartment that she used to hook up with Alex Rodriguez multiple times in the year before the separation.

  18. cleo

    yeah yeah.madonna is very control with her work that why she keeps her career on top.but in home she is not like that.her friends know it.she has friends very different from each other.pharrell said that they are like brthers and sisters now ,that she is very nice.justin the same and all her friends said that.she is demi moore boyfriend said that she is the most honnest person that he knows and the most nice person that he knows she is very given.she is not like that.u guys are a nerd.guy loved her.she changed a lot for him and he was so selfish she became more sweet and he became more drunk and a huge liar.she is not A-ROD, ife she was ,what the hell his ex wife was doing on madonna show in ny??

  19. 'nuff said

    about Madonna…

    “A thimble of talent thrown into an ocean of ambition.” – Mick Jagger

  20. fabio

    madonna is amazing.she is not a freak,she is a hard worker.she made a huge fortune ,she was a bitchy but she is not like that anymore.she changed when she became a mother.she is very sweet with her kids .and gwneth paltrow said that her kids are very educated and they study classic music class and they speak other language.they are very cute.madonna took them personally to their coleege not guy.guy never did a shit.madonna wake ups at 7 in the morning for give the kids the breakfast not guy.he prefers going back to sleep.

  21. dsda

    yeah madona was very ambition but if shes not how she get that career.madonna is a good person.she can be ambition and a good person.she gives a lot of money for people in need,for malawi,she is builting a hospital a universaty a college in malawi.everything that they dont have.she is very amazibg person.very given like atshon katshor said. britney said that she is very sweet and helped her a lt.madonna never take any drugs,madonna worlds otur is all sold out,no one is like her.she is the queen.madonna speeks to her fans on streets,she spoke to me.give me an aautograph, other stars dont talk to anyone.she talks and she is so amazing.really ,

  22. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Madonna proved that you can be an average singer and sell music based on exploiting your sexuality. Madonna had all the freedom growing up and she does not allow her children to enjoy the same freedom. Madonna’s children are going to get out of control once they leave home. The American people have proved once again they have bad taste in music by buying Madonn’a CDs and going to her concerts.

  23. Jrz

    –Upon returning the children safely to Madonna, Guy will have his testicles returned to him, which are being kept safely in a jar in Madonna’s nightstand.

  24. Jrz

    Speaking of dudes named Guy and hags holding their nuts in a jar…………..GUY HOLLY!!!

  25. LL

    Some of you Madonna fans would be a lot more persuasive if you could first master writing in English before you attempt to testify on her behalf. Jesus, I’ve seen better writing from Britney Spears, and she’s officially retarded.

    Madonna is fucking crazy, but we kinda knew that already, right? There is no crazy like conversion crazy. You show me someone who was raised one religion and then converted (usually in adulthood) to another religion, and I’ll show you a Grade A nutcase. I feel bad for her kids and hope Guy Ritchie violates all her dipshit rules with gusto so that they have at least one sane, reasonable adult role model. I love especially how she jumped on every penis she could in her younger days and that was a selling point for her image, and had no problem with fucking around on her husband with a married dude, but her poor kids can’t watch TV because it’s a bad influence (I assume that’s the “reasoning” behind that)? She’s such an inspiration.

    I used to not mind Madonna’s oddnesses, but imposing it on children and trying to control her ex-husband’s actions to this extent is extreme assholery. Die in a fire, Madonna.

    And the Jews thank you for co-opting their religious tradition and making everyone associate it with flaming crazy.

  26. Janeane The Acerbic Goblin

    I thought Madonna was a control freak before, but Jesus! (no offense to the real Jesus).

    Guy Ritchie should have status as a prisoner of war for living with this insane bitch for all those years.

  27. www

    madonna is not old are u guys for believe in this crap??what u think that if it was true it will apear on net??madonna is not like that. everyone are sayin that is untrue even guy ritchie.GUY IS THE ONLY GUILTY HE IS A DRUNK.JUST A DRUNK.BASTER. MADONNA NEVER DID RIDICULOUS FIGURES.MADONNA IS A STRONG AND POWERFULL WOMAN

  28. Anastasia


    I can tell you this for sure, all these requirements posted in this website are lies!! She did not make no such demands, I know she didn’t. I wish people would stop speaking so many untruths about her.

  29. Sport

    ^^ Anastasia, before someone beats me to it.

    Fuck you.

  30. dee

    Definitely, Guy should include Madonna’s Sex book in the kids’ reading curriculum.

  31. fabio

    MADONNA IS AN AMAZING MOTHER. she is not a freak.freak are u guys that believed in this crap.even guy dismiss this.their kids suffer with this.they ask for not torture their family on this moment.guy said that he respects madonna and he is very proud of her..a week before the split he said that madonna has the most amazing she is very hot.she is very control on her work,not in go out with lolas father ,lola went alone to avril lavigne show in london this year dont u remenber????look at madonnas life and see that she is not like that.she let the kids do everything

  32. ccdty

    yeah anastacia.this is untrue.guy said madonna.madonna never said that.she is not a freak ,she is an amazing person.ppharrell said that she is a lot of fun and she is like a sister to him

  33. Kelly

    what a nutcase!

  34. dsda


  35. GUY


  36. HH

    MARRY ME m

  37. womanhater

    To all you “women” that ever thought Mandonna was cool, F YOU! I have always said Madonna epitomizes the woman that all men hate. She is arrogant, thinks she is smart, thinks she is talented and cool. She isn’t.

    She doesn’t show women how to be self sufficient, she shows women how to fall apart, break marriages and destroy themselves. She shows women how to lose all identity of being feminine and a woman.

    Have you seen how much plastic surgery she has had? Her overly contrived sexuality that is obnoxious and rude? She is no lady, she is no man, she is nothing.

    Anyone that is pro Mandonna should be shot.

  38. Jrz

    81—Fabio? Cannavaro? *faints*

  39. Anon

    To the loser who keeps writing comments about how great madge is then writes another comment under a different name agreeing with the previous comment stop it.

    If you’re going to do that be smarter about it.
    Write one comment in perfect English then the reply in bastardised american.

    Or one in an intelligible way and a reply using street slang.

    Mix it up a little.

    “Many children have allergies to man-made fibers. This could be the case as to why she doesn’t want them exposed to them”

    True but he’s the father. If thats the case then he knows.

    I don’t believe this story for a second but if it’s true it still isn’t enough for him to get even 50/50 custody in the UK.
    She is getting divorced in England yet she’s moving back to America. Did no-one wonder why? Look up fathers rights in the UK, she clearly has.

  40. norton

    Talentless hack. And a bitch to boot…. whod’a thunk it?

    It’ll be an interesting day when these kids find out that there mother is a self aggrandizing whore.

  41. sameshitdifferentyear

    What “Madonna” needs to do, is have her own satellite custom-made and launched, let’s name it the U.R.A.Cunt, with a lens capable of viewing her children in a radius of 7 feet anywhere on Earth, and a high-powered laser to fire-and-melt Richie, photographers, people who man-make fibers, glasses of water that are currently unblessed, or anything else unholy, on command, instantly.

    How long before there’s a blessed-air requirement too, Esther?

  42. tc

    I am not sure I believe this list to be genuine.

    If I received it, it would go straight in the bin. My children. My house. My rules.

    I think the only way you can love your children is to allow them to grow as people, make their own choices, and delight in their individuality.

    If you want to train a police dog, on the other hand……

  43. wow...just wow...

    Ladies and gentleman, behold the making of a couple of serial killers–in about 5 years we will be reading about these kids torturing small animals and rubbing themselves in toothpaste.

  44. Nats

    It’s not funny or cool to joke about the Holocaust, especially on Nov 11. Small brained idiot

  45. Dar

    Does Guy have visitation rights for his testicles too?

    Never mind–anyone who would have put up with this controlling nag for as long as he did obviously didn’t have a set to begin with. Better for him to call Rent-A-Nut™.

  46. Matt

    What a dumb cunt.

  47. Madonna is a cunt

    This dumb bitch said all that crap about Sarah Palin… Hahahahaha you wrinkled OLD HAG you get what you deserve. I hope your kids HATE YOU you are the most retched creature on this planet. I hope GUY gets SOLE custody.
    Thank God Guy is free of you psychotic grasp.
    Your music sucks too!!!

  48. Sara


    Rent-A-Nut lol!

  49. Christy

    This is more like a checklist of rules Guy will break.

  50. Jeff W.

    I love how she backs all this religious nonsense yet is the biggest skank in the world. How can she promote her religion while performaing in whore outfits (not that I’m complaining about the outfits).

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