Madonna’s adoption to be judged

July 19th, 2007 // 87 Comments

Malawi’s head of child welfare services is set to visit Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie next month to determine whether or not they can formally adopt the African toddler Madonna brought here nine months ago. The head of child welfare services will stay with Madonna at her house for up to five days as part of a “home study”, and he says:

“We are worried that the level of public interest might be bad for David. In the normal situation children don’t have cameras in their face. We are not just looking at the positives of being adopted, one of the aspects of an assessment is looking at the negatives.”

There’s no way Madonna is losing this kid. She built a $4 million orphanage in Malawi so the government would let her bypass their adoption laws and speed up the process. The head of child welfare services could go to Madonna’s house and see that she keeps him under the leg of a table to keep it from wobbling and he’d give her two thumbs up and a big smile. She’d probably even get some sort of parenting award from the Malawi government.


  1. hahahha once again you impress me with your hilariiityyyyy

  2. Guy

    UHHUHHHH random orgasim

  3. you weren’t first! i was!

  4. naruelle

    I still feel bad for the kid

  5. that kid is probably in a gang!

  6. Wow. I hope that’s a bad picture because that kid used to be a-fucking-dorable. Maybe it’s just a look of disgust. If madonna were my mother, I’d probably have that expression too.

  7. Tessa

    I’m too sorry for that poor kid

  8. maria

    why the fuck is everyone so prest 2 be first fucken loserz. anyways whats up wit people adopting africans there so ugly

  9. maria

    why the fuck is everyone so prest 2 be first fucken loserz. anyways whats up wit people adopting africans there so ugly

  10. dowork

    so what happens if she is denied a formal adoption? they put him in a box and send him home??

    post script…someone is up early.

  11. not so cute anymore

    mmm.. not so cute anymore is he… am I sensing “regret”?

  12. Maecy

    gawd, why did she even have to adopt a child who doesnt really look a.. uhmm.. a child. is that baby really worth $4?

  13. lapet

    I’m suprised she hasn’t gotten more in brown and yellow. Third world children are the new black!

  14. Jimmy Bobarino

    Damn… Saw the pic and thought Madonna was dating Webster…

  15. Methos

    Hope she kept her receipt!

    No refund without em these days.

  16. nagger please

    I can’t wait until the black kid rapes Madonna’s daughter..

  17. Jimbo

    David’s first words to Madonna were “What’s with the fucked-up accent?”

  18. veggi

    Why is Carrie Bradshaw holding the baby?

  19. quit fucking text writing.

    @10- Not one thing is right about your post. there, their, they’re. look into it.

    @18- disgusting

  20. Sierra

    wasn’t there a joke recently made about britney spears using her children to prop up tables?

  21. Chauncey Gardner

    Can you imagine how weird it will be when this kid has grown up, and he goes to visit his old, white, crazy, wanna-be-English “mother”? It’s going to look like Yaphet Kotto sitting in the parlour with fucking Norma Desmond. The only things needed to complete the picture will be a monkey and Erich von Stroheim’s reanimated corpse.

  22. Susie

    Very weird. There’s not much of a resemblance to the dad, who’s a pretty good looking dude. The most noticeable thing is that their face shapes are completely different. Maybe David was an adultery baby? That’d explain why the dad offloaded him to The Menopausal Virgin Mary. And then knocked up and married a new chick (of course, David’s mom died giving birth to him, so what’s a nigga gonna do?). He’s sort of the KFed of Malawi.

  23. Duke of Cs

    Hi, I’m from the Malawi government and I’m just gonna kick it with Madonna in the U.S. for a couple of days in her house. It’s gonna be PHAT! Dude…obviously.

  24. jessi

    He is better of with Madonna then in an orphanage in Africa…. i don’t even see why they are intruding.

  25. veggi

    @20- get your own fucking name and then go make me a sammich you fucking fucktard.

  26. veggi

    @27… tsk tsk.. language!

  27. wedgeone

    #25 – that would have been humorous, except for the fact that Madonna is LIVING IN ENGLAND, which explains the comments about her FUCKED UP ACCENT. Briton met Brooklyn.
    Duke … you must be DAVID DUKE!

    I’m just thrilled that it’s 11:22 on the East Coast and some new news got posted. Sa-weet!

  28. wedgeone

    In other news, Madonna really needs a makeup artist traveling with her wherever she goes, at this stage of her life. GAWD-DAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!

  29. CountDrunkulaXxX

    Madonna and her “son” couldnt possibly look any LESS alike. Id be scared calling her mommy. I would NOT however be afraid of her bank account.

  30. How is it worse to be Madonna’s child — other than the fact that she is an over-glamorized, ugly whore who wishes she were British — than it is to be an orphan in Malawi?

    I don’t even know where Malawi is, honestly, but I’m sure it is awful.

  31. Stan

    “…formally adopt the African toddler Madonna brought here nine months ago.”

    You misspelled “bought.” Cheers.

  32. adeliza

    #10 & #18……
    I’m aghast…..

  33. lambman

    She did not bypass any laws! She started the adoption process BEFORE the orphanage was complete. People act like she built an orphange just so she could go pick up kids at a drive-thru.

    There are plenty of valid reason to hate Madonna, no reason to make some up or rehash rumors that were proven false

  34. big_J_from_cincy

    I think Madonna may have adopted Webster.

  35. Madonna couldn’t ztand it
    that Angelina got
    more famouz than her, zo
    zhe decided to uze
    a child to get attention..

    Thatz fuckin dizcuzting…
    like a child iz
    going to make anyone like
    that old uzed up
    bitch that now thinkz zhez
    Britizh inztead of
    the big mouth NewYorker that
    zhe iz pretending not
    to be..and no itz not cute
    to talk like the
    fuckin Britz…they talk
    like their mouth
    iz full of zhit…I hate
    that lozer…like
    ain’t enough fame
    for her ugly old azzzz?

  36. i heard she lip syncs

  37. Lexoka

    “she keeps him under the leg of a table to keep it from wobbling”

    Wait, you mean, you’re not supposed to do that?

  38. TheRage

    i’m sure moving the kid around from home to home is real good for him too. oh and giving him a taste of the good life and then throwing him back in Malawi is supposed to be a better choice? smart. these people are morons.

  39. woodhorse

    Who does Malawi think it is? I could see them making those demands of me, but I don’t have millions of dollars, nor am I famous.

    That being said, I doubt Malawi could pull that shit on Angelina….

    And that being said, I don’t see Malawi putting that much effort in the welfare of the rest of the children over there.

  40. veggi

    meh. I think the story is a bunch of Malawki.

  41. ali

    i swear, buying little black kids is the new AIDS in america. Ironic, i guess we’re mad at these kids ancestors for starting that whole epidemic here, so what do we do? we steal their children.

  42. athens girl

    Why is madonna adopting gary coleman? I thought he was making a great living as a security guard….

  43. Kamiki

    What is with the straw hat, Its beyond ridiculous whats she gonna do? go punting on the Thames to try and be British. I wish she’d leave and go back to America I get bad vibes about this woman.

  44. Danklin24

    For a second i thought that said “the African toddler Madonna BOUGHT….Which would be more accurate.

  45. Kelli is NUTZ

    Kelli – Americans are just jealous of British accents and preZumably you fall in that category too you silly envious creature. I’ve never heard anyone say to an American “I love your accent” I’ve had it said to me about 200 times, pretty much 1/4 Americans I meet say it, its boring.

  46. Pam

    I’m sick of celebs adopting kids like they’re the new hot accessory and then leaving the nannies to raise them (Heidi Klum, Madonna, etc.) Only Angelina & Brad seem to be spending any quality time with their kids.

  47. ali

    #47-ego trip much? we don’t envy you guys, you have bad teeth. see, i just demonstrated what happens when you STEREOTYPE.

  48. Christ on a Crotch

    Looook, I feel bad for the kid, but I hope the Malawian gov’t rips him out of her filthy mitts. Serves her right for treating poor African children like the latest Hermes bag that just came out. Her and that cooze-bag Angelina. A Leo and a Gemini, two self-serving, selfish, cunty signs.

    You can’t BUY people, people.

    And don’t give me that crap about giving him a better life. Remember Elian from Cuba? I was glad he got returned to his dad. These kids were not orphans, they still had parents who CARED about them. So fuck all of y’all who are gonna start ripping me a new one for my views. (Shoot!)

    (Crosses arms, puts cigar in mouth and waits for backlash)

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