Madonna’s adoption shot down!

April 3rd, 2009 // 53 Comments

Despite having the support of the Malawian government and welfare minister, Madonna’s attempt to adopt four-year-old Mercy was shot down this morning in court. Turns out the pop singer is subject to residency requirements this time. Wuh oh. The AP reports:

A judge who did not make the ruling but saw it and another lawyer present when the ruling was made said Madonna was rejected because of residency rules. Both spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the case.
Malawi adoption regulations require that prospective parents live in the southern African nation for at least 18 months.
The residency rule was waived in 2006, when Madonna was allowed to take her adopted son, David, to London before his adoption was finalized in 2008. It was not clear why Judge Esme Chombo ruled differently Friday. Another judge had handled Madonna’s previous adoption case.

Dear Entire Country of Malawi,

Nice knowing you.

The Superficial Writer


  1. Matthew

    first and good they didn’t get seduce by her fake british accent and more so she is born in detroit

  2. STFUP

    GOOD! She deserves NO special treatment. If she really, really wants the little girl that badly, she’ll move to Malawai for the 18 months.
    Of course, I’ll bet my paycheck that she won’t.

  3. shellibelli

    yeah its MUCH better for the little girl to stay poor in an orphanage then to be raised and educated. No matter what you might think of Madonna you have to admit that the baby would have a better life with her.

  4. Savalas

    Go enjoy menopause, fishwife!

  5. Lexoka

    Bah, she’ll just buy the country and remove the problem altogether.


  7. Rick

    Look, everybody who says the kid is worse off with the adoption failing, you’re forgetting one thing: the jungle fever look in Madonna’s son Rocco’s eyes in all the pictures (the kid with the 1979-Madonna-bush mohawk). In a few years he was going to rape Mercy every night until she screamed for, well, mercy. You know it’s true – that’s what happens in adoption and foster care: it’s not really your sibling, so you can boink it if you want to. Sweet deal, actually.

  8. Madonna


  9. groan

    How will Madonna combat this loss? Can she manage to camouflage her sadness at having her adoption booted? Or will she see everything through a dark lens that bugs her?

  10. @ 9 – excellent references to her stupid fucking outfit.

  11. Lord have Mercy!! lol the judge is grand standing…

  12. Substitute “adoption” for “Cessna” and we have a deal.

  13. “Raise the bribe ya stupid bitch!!!!!!!!!!!” That’s a direct quote from the judge. *nods head*

  14. Yank and wank they rhyme for a reason

    as much as I loathe Moodonna this is ridiculous one of the poorest countries on the planet won’t let one of its poor kids go to a lifef with more options and security. I would think they’d be glad to get rid of another mouth to feed in a country with a life expectancy of 42 years only 9 from the bottom in the world. Stupid black poor people.

  15. Nice clothes. If you’re in the business of adopting former child soldiers, it’s best to dress the part.

    Apparently her appearance provoked a pavlovian response in the children, who took up fire positions as she entered the room and started to chant weird war songs. She was the offered some khat and an amulet that gives immunity from government bullets…….

  16. Darth


  17. #14 – You should get into dentistry because your country has a huge need for it and comedy just doesn’t work for you.

  18. verga

    madonna is a stupid cunt i wish she would hurry up and die.

  19. Galtacticus

    I didn’t know Malawi have such a beautiful judges!?

  20. sin

    Apparently, the Malawian government did not want to start the slave trade again.
    Thats all this was.

    Lets see…A rich, crazy white person goes to a black country, pays off one group of black people so she can take away another group of black people. I remember Roots, this is slave trading.

  21. Rhialto

    Blessed with wisdom and beauty! These people are very rare but there’re still some!

  22. Ned

    No wonder, she goes in there dressed like a commando like she is trying to steal the kid. If she is such a make the world better person then help a child in America. It’s all for a photo op anyway.

  23. Darth

    Give me the bank-account number of the Malawi government! I’m going to deposit them some serious Darth bucks!

  24. Thanks Rhialto! I didn’t even shower today! Great use of random exclamation points!

  25. Papa Bear

    Are you kiddin me? Fuck Madonna, but secret basement rooms in Austria are probably a better place to grow up than an orphanage in Malawi. I guess most people here don’t even know what Malawi is. Let me tell you, it’s non of the 49 US-states that you cannot name (I know, it’s 50 all in all but I assume everyone can name his or her own state).

  26. Lain

    I’m not a fan of Madonna, but c’mon. They rejected her a kid simply because they don’t like her and used a BS excuse? Retarded.

  27. Lain

    Yeah, there’s a lot of fucking hate in the comments section. When there isn’t hate, there’s dispute over Kim Kardashian’s fat ass. Which is, of course, loathing. Oh, boy…

  28. Guy


    Take that little boy who nearly had the chance of getting something out of life.

    You are all sure told him and nasty Madonna trying to adopt him.

  29. Liz

    Love Madonna , sucks she won;t be able to adopt SOme more of the story :

  30. Nero

    What’s plan B? Kidnapping?

  31. Doc Holiday

    Unlike the US that gives any rich big fat gay blowhard with admitted mental problems all the kids they want.

  32. Tee

    Why is Lourdes dressed like Yasser Arafat?

  33. joho777

    Oh-oh. Some judge decided that if this rich American is bribing Malawi officials, he wants a bribe, too.

    This whole thing is about how much money can be extracted from Madonna. Otherwise, they would be handing out these orphans for free to any European/American who enters the country.

    These guys would cheerfully skin this little girl and serve her for lunch if it would put more money in their pockets.

    You guys are used to American officials who rarely demand bribes (except from corporations, of course).

    But dealing with African countries is much different. Their embassies and consulates expect graft and bribes before they’ll do their jobs.

    Anyone who had dealt with any African governments can verify that.

  34. Sheva

    Well she can always adopt that Brazilian boy right?

  35. Mr. Jones

    I figured it out. Madonna is a Penanggalan. Accoring to Wikki:

    “…the Penanggalan is a detached female head that is capable of flying about on its own. As it flies, the stomach and entrails dangle below it, and these organs twinkle like fireflies as the Penanggalan moves through the night.”

    So Madonna’s head, at night, detaches from her body and flies about, feasting upon the flesh and blood of children.

    The only way to get rid of her is to destroy her body while her head is flying around. This sounds a lot easier than it is, because doubtlessly she does not leave her body unguarded. God knows what fiendish creatures she has up to the task. A stealth incursion may be possible, but the best bet is probably a full-out assault by a heavily-armed band of mercenaries. Chances of mission survival are very low, but the situation is critical. No third-world child is safe until we deal with this… thing.

  36. friendlyfires

    This Madonna as a child eater is almost funny considering she is a vegetarian (and everybody within a three hundred yard radius better be vegetarian orso help me, Kabba-lah, there will be blood and fire raining down on Sodom and Gomorrah .. wait a minute …(flips pages back and forth) … Poughkeepsie and Terre Haute!

  37. mikeock

    Adopt some American black babies, you egotistical twat.

  38. Cheese HamRich

    I’m confused. Has the USA run out of orphans now? Does skeletor need to go to one of these third world countries where there are orphans a-plenty? Unless she still lives in the UK (I forget…wait…I don’t care). Surely there must be a couple of spare orphans kicking around somewhere closer to home?

  39. meme

    That’s not Skeletor, Cheese HamRich, that’s VADGE. Skeletor belongs to JHo.

  40. meme

    Why can’t Vadge & company dress like normal people instead of looking like a fucking freak parade.

  41. sasha

    Poor Mercy… she could have been living in a home with a family, and now she is doomed to live in an orphanage. It is a shame.

  42. idontwannamadonna

    #38, I think you’re on to something…
    and #39, Hummmm, why yes, isn’t her “vegetarianism” a convenient alibi?

    and love #35′s comment. good question.

  43. sin

    Its illegal to buy a black slave in the USA, but its ok in an African nation. Thats where all of the blacks in the US came from any way.

  44. amber

    I read that the child’s Grandmother was caring for the child and wished to continue doing so.

    Madonna was trying to bully the child out of it’s grandmother’s arms.

    If Madonna cared she could give the Grandmother some money (chump change to her) to raise the kid properly and not in poverty.

  45. Jason

    All I am saying is that there are some AMERICAN KIDS WHO NEED HOMES TOO adopt some american kids asshole!!

  46. omg

    if i were the kid i would sue the jerks in the government
    damn this kid was side swiped BIG TIME
    would have had it made!

  47. justifiable

    Good. Her three kids have gone through a divorce with separation from their father/stepdad less than 6 months ago – and every good parent knows what they need right now is more change, right? Unfortunately she’ll probably slap on another red thread and think everything’s fixed.

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