Madonna: ‘You caught me. I’m trying to adopt.’

March 31st, 2009 // 108 Comments

Madonna has confirmed her plans to adopt a four-year-old Malawian girl, Mercy, and wants you to know she’s going through the process just like everybody else. And apparently that process includes charging a million dollar school to your gold card then bouncing with a new kid in five days. Who knew? The AP report:

Madonna said Tuesday that she was following standard procedures in her adoption of a Malawian girl, her first response to accusations that that she is using her fame to speed the process.
The pop superstar also took her 3-year-old adopted son, David, to visit the orphanage in Mchinji, a village near the Zambian border, where he once lived. She brought him Monday to meet his biological father for the first time since he left Malawi in 2006.

Wow, so she is trying to adopt. Because we would’ve never figured that one out on our own. Thanks, Sergeant DeathFace of the Obvious Platoon!

Photos: Splash News

  1. Jrz

    Why the fuck does she look so…….Dutch?

  2. Andrew

    better question is why does she look so evil??

  3. Jrz

    Also, who’s the little freak with the mohawk? If I saw her + the kid with the mohawk, I’d be like DENIED.

  4. Not really sure of the big deal with all this. Yes, people with fame and fortune dont have to go thru the hoops like us average people. Whats new in Life ??

    Though, she is looking pretty rough in these recent pictures !!

  5. mm

    you can put as much botox as you like, but your hands will give you away you old bitch

  6. @ JRZ..I dunno..why is she wearing fatigues and army boots when she’s so against war?

    She should go adopt someone from here:

  7. Jrz

    Okay…and now, in the second picture….is that Lourdes with the camouphlage scalp? Jesus, she’s raising an army of freaks. RUN, DAVID! RUN….Grab Mercy and haul ass!!!

  8. Fish you prose sucks. You need to let it flow. Find your center. Yank your ying yang. Something to relax you and make you less stupid.

  9. Jrz

    Afrikaans on Sunday

    Whys that making me laugh?

  10. Deacon Jones

    He rcheek implants make her look like that dude from Big Trouble in Little China that explodes himself.

  11. Afrikkans on sunday always get me down……

  12. Jrz

    Afrikaans on Sundays….next thing it’ll be the Dutch Asians on Mondays.

  13. Ali Knievel

    She’s just collecting more Pokemon for her upcoming Pokemon battle with Angelina and Octo-mom.

  14. Mr. Obvious

    Do you know why Madonna adopts children from different countries?

    At night she drains their lifeforce. She’s using them to keep herself young. It has not been working, so she’s back to “adopting”. She’s still looking for that one child whose lifeforce matches hers.

  15. @12 – Beats a Dutch Oven on Mondays.

  16. oh mah gad

    That’s her son Rocco (the one she made, not the one she bought).

  17. Max Planck

    Double bubble toil and trouble,
    Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

  18. Beth

    For crying out loud, Madonna, if you’re gonna shave any of your kids, obviously you start with Lourdes.

  19. Guy

    Poor kid doesn’t look to happy to have Madonna as a mom, who can blame him.

  20. Galtacticus

    What’s she doing there!? Is she making a basket!? Don’t tell me the kid’s name is Moses!

  21. Mr. Jones


    I imagine she has a Temple of Doom underneath her mansion, where she keeps these kids chained to rocks. On a full moon she drags one of these kids to the alter, and rips out their heart chanting “Kali-maaaaaa! Kali-maaaaaa!”

    Or maybe she appears floating in their window at night, in a fog, while scratching the window “screeeetch screeetch” beckoning them to open the window.

  22. Ang

    I can’t believe she gave her son the hair style called “1979 Madonna”.

  23. Darth

    She has sort of the same hairdo as princess Leia ?! Anybody noticed!?

  24. Nero

    Guys at the airport! Check that red blanket carefully! She might kidnap that kid in it!

  25. I don’t understand why all of these famous people want to adopt children from 3rd world countries. Do they think by adopting one kid they are doing some good? Its horrible. What about all the kids in America that need adopted?

  26. us

    #25 – we did that yesterday.

  27. Collectors Anonymous

    For some people, it’s stamps. For others, it’s niglets. The first step is to admit you have a problem.

  28. Rocco Ritchie

    Thanks for the fucking haircut, Mom. I love walking around with your original bush on my head. Was it really necessary, asshole? I mean, look at my fucking name. Obviously I’m going to be a fashion designer. Don’t fucking rub it in.

  29. Greg

    This is the new fad buying kids. They got tired of the little toy dogs now it’s kids.
    I notice these older women like her and Jennifer Aniston try their best to look young but their hands give them away every time.

  30. in therapy

    I’d hate to have a wrinkled blue-veined hand on my cock. Again.

    My stomach hurts.

  31. Gando

    Kids and drunkards always speak the truth!

  32. Fluffy Butt

    She has got to be the ugliest man ever!

  33. Rebecca

    The only good thing I can say about this whole thing: at least she took David to see his biological father.

  34. niceface

    Those cheek implants look beyond ridiculous-I have no idea why hollywood is all over these things-It looks like someone took her shoulder pads from the 80′s and shoved em into her f*cking face.

  35. Idontwannamadonna

    I hate her.

  36. justifiable

    #33 And he had absolutely no idea who the man was. Obviously no picture of “real Daddy” next to his bed in any of her three homes.

  37. ick.


  38. i call 'em as I see 'em

    #34 hahahahahahah!!!!

  39. justifiable

    #35 Know what gets me? What sort of mother looks at her three kids, who’ve gone through this divorce, seen her date up a storm, and are now not seeing their father/stepfather on a regular basis and says “Hey, what my kids need now is even more upheaval and change in their lives! Time to adopt!”

  40. farty mcshitface

    numbers 5&10, you are both so right. madonna’s botoxing can’t hide her awful mummy hands and those cheek implants are so obvious its really pretty creepy. this bitch is so awful and narcissistic, i wish some mishap would befall her like one of her cheek implants fall off balance leaving her even more horrifying than before!!!

  41. Madonna looks really young in that pic, and almost no makeup!

  42. Belinda's Optometrist

    Belinda, call my office ASAP.

  43. Bobaloo

    10, my first thought was she’s starting to look like Jocelyn Wildenstein, especially in that first photo.

  44. Kelley

    Her cheek implants are hideous.

  45. Clueless

    Hey little boy, in the last picture, your mother dresses you funny.

  46. Idontwannamadonna

    #39- I know! Not to mention that it’s only been a couple of months since all of that-
    You know, I think there is really no high falutin reason that Madonna doesn’t want her kids to read newspapers, go on the internet, or watch television. It’s not for their benefit, it’s so they can’t know enough to question her judgement.
    Those poor kids- they should be taking them away, not giving her more.
    I hate her.

  47. Idontwannamadonna

    Oh, and #43, you are correct, sir.

  48. Amy Winehouse

    Why is Madonna trying to copy my photogenic skills in that first pic?

  49. she’s like an octomom by proxy ;p

  50. Missystar

    Since this bony old twat never does anything for anyone but herself, I’ll have to agree on the whole sucking out their youth and bathing in their innocent blood theory you guys came up with.

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