Madonna wants that kid

April 13th, 2009 // 42 Comments

Madonna is still determined to get her claws on a four-year-old Malawian girl, Mercy, and has resorted to her most devious form of sorcery: E-mail. Us Magazine reports:

“I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible,” she e-mailed Malawi’s Nation newspaper in response to its questions. “And it’s my hope that she, like David, will one day return to Malawi and help the people of their country.”
Madonna, 50, continued: “Though I have been advised that I cannot publicly discuss the pending appeal regarding my desire to adopt Mercy, I do want to say how much I appreciate the level of support that I have received from the people of Malawi and my friends around the world.”

Madonna has also promised to not leave the Necronomicon out on the coffee table which adoption officials say “is a step in the right direction” but there’s still “deep concern about the three-headed dog issue.”


  1. Madonna

    FIRST to say eat my withered gray steel-wool pubed pussy, you fucking losers.

  2. monty

    she old

  3. dirk

    Take the Adoption fee and buy a million rubbers for the Africans who can’t feed the kids they keep popping out. Jesus H! Let’s see here. I have no food. I have no medicine. I have no water. LET’S HAVE MORE KIDS!!! Dumb savages.

  4. BBC

    An open mic from the press coverage in Malawi caught Madonna saying “FINE! So what gibbering coon do I have to fuck around here to get another niglet?”

  5. Snaggletooth

    @ dirk

    We dumb liberals used to send boatloads of condoms to Africa, but the right-wing religious Nazi’s kept screaming about how sinful family planning is so Bush cut off aid to all groups that did.

    Not that you really care, you’re just pissed off even dudes without a home, food, or water can score more pussy than you.

  6. Lindsey

    just like buying slaves. They should be ashame of themselves for selling their kids to this nut.

  7. Jrz

    It is my hope that David and Mercy return to Malawi to teach all the children of thier homeland to Vogue with a monacle.

  8. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    #5, you nut job liberals sent those condoms to fight AIDS not to stop them from breeding. Before you go and make yourself look any dumber, do some research. Bush sent more money to Africa (to fight AIDS among other things) than your poster child Clinton ever did.

    The problem with liberals is that since life is not fair (and it never will be), they want to give a hand out instead of a hand up. Make everyone poor (to “even the playing field”) and they think they are “progressive”, instead of helping the poor work their way out of the life they were delt.

  9. dirk


    Why don’t you talk about how Bush has saved millions of African lives, schmuck? Personally, I think they should be left to suffer the consequences of their actions. We can only save them from themselves for so long. Why should my tax money go to support their behavior. Them pumping out bastards with no means of supporting them IS CHILD ABUSE! I think the same about the welfare bastards we give our tax money in the US too. Fuck em.

  10. ManiacFive

    why can’ t she adopt an american kid? give that kid a better life? I had no idea America had no unwanted children of its own…

    I hate this talentless bitch so much. At least she’s stopped ‘reinventing’ herself and foisting music upon us.

  11. We've Been Through This Before!

    #10–Because the US has strict laws about who is deemed acceptable as a parent. Madonna, obviously, doesn’t make the cut, therefore, she went to what she assumed would be an easy place that just gives kids away. And now the gigantic egomaniac is learning that people think that growing up in an orphanage in an impoverished African nation is better than having her for a mother.

    Fucking. Awesome.

  12. Ted

    #8, #9, and your cousin commenters – are you going to bitch and whine again this week, saying the same thing in every thread? You’re like talking PMS. I never knew conservatives were such panty-wearing whiners.

  13. Hehe @ 12.

    Also, Madge needs to step off, someone should tell her that child trafficking is in fact illegal :P

  14. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    #12, why is it different then when Liberals do it?

  15. Ted

    #14 – in other words, “Mommy, why didn’t Joey get in trouble when he did it???”

    Way to illustrate my point.

  16. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    Ted, you still didn’t answer the question. Liberals love to do that. Instead of answering the question, they just blame Bush or something else for their shortcomings.

    Way to illustrate my point.

  17. Ted

    #16, Mr. Robo-comment: my point was that we’re all tired of your repetitive whining. But I’m not going to waste anymore time on this, sorry.

  18. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    Yep, just like a liberal. Quitter. Sure your not French?

  19. dirk

    The libs are starting to feel ashamed for their colossal mistake on Obama. He’s going to make EVERYONE poorer. If you don’t understand how spending all of this BORROWED money and PRINTING more money is going to cripple us with massive INFLATION, google to find out what you did by voting for Obama. Busth spent way too much. Obama is Bush times 10! Republicans want to STOP THE SPENDING.

  20. Still White on the Outside

    Hey 18, it’s “you’re”, as in the sentence, “Sure YOU’RE not illiterate?”

  21. Cathy

    So, fellas, couldn’t get by the moderators again at the political blogs? A shame. No offense, but by posting your stuff here you’re exactly like the crazy homeless men who sit in parks and shout their conspiracy theories to anybody who happens to be there. I don’t doubt that you have sincere beliefs, but you look silly here.

  22. smell the reality

    #19 “Bush spent way too much” “Republicans want to stop the spending”
    Choking on the obvious Party Line contradiction in 5,4,3…

  23. dirk


    Unlike you lock-step Libs, Conservatives stand by our beliefs. We hate big-spending politicians – Bush included. Bush wasn’t Conservative, he got away with the spending because of the taxes we were taking in. NOW? it’s even more insane; and Obama is spending 5 times as much BORROWED money. Not good.

  24. smell the reality

    #23 How much did we BORROW for Iraq? If you took in so much in taxes – which you cut (like on capital gains) according to your precious Conservative beliefs – why did you need to borrow at all? Talk about lock-step! The economy is in the shitter because Conservatives can never understand that you can’t cut taxes and spend like drunks, let alone and not have a fucking disaster. Throw in cutting down all the market and bank regulations just for fun. Now Bush isn’t your poster child any more? Too fucking bad. You tore through a SURPLUS left in 2000 and left the economy on life support – and yeah, it takes billions to keep the heart-lung machine on so the patient lives. And now you dare to complain because of the cleanup bill for the MESS you left? Shut the FUCK up and cram your beliefs where the sun don’t shine.

  25. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    #20, I may be. I do know that I am the product of the California public school system. That might have something to do with it also…

  26. Turd Ferguson

    There’s too much red tape in US adoptions. Plus, she doesn’t want to wait. …Do not refuse service to the crypt keeper!
    Also, its chic to buy a foreign kid if you live in the alternate reality known as Hollywood.

    If she really had no selfish interests here and gave a crap about she would just give money to the people of Malawi. I’m sure there are to be some greased palms involved anyway just to get this “adoption” through.
    Good luck to the kid though.

  27. Turd Ferguson

    Good to see you again, Mr. Tumor.
    I thought perhaps you were in remission.

  28. Turd Ferguson

    sorry #20, I meant #25.
    Perhaps I’m a product of the California public school system as well.
    ..or is the inability to count a nationwide problem. ??

    ONE! …Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha!
    THREE! …Bwaaa-ha-ha!!

  29. yeah

    Hey dirk @ #3
    Send some of those condoms to your family, so they can prevent any more like you, you fucking racist goat.

  30. Galtacticus

    Which kid? The older one?

  31. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Since when does she like kids?

  32. Darth

    Maybe you mean;Madonna wants that kidney? Spelling check?

  33. ace of cakes

    #31 Since she found organic sugarfree barbecue sauce.

  34. The Superficial Grammar Police

    Hmmm, grammar’s not exactly her strong suit, is it?

  35. She cant adopt in the U.S because no-one there is desperate enough to want the likes of her as a mother.

  36. This because she can’t get enough of “GOSSIP-STORIES”, folks!!

  37. el ces

    Cool outfit.


  39. herbiefrog

    we would approve… do we really need to explain ?

    however… that is not enough

    doesnt work one at a time

  40. tmw

    The kids she adopts should be allowed to do anything her other kids would do when they grow up. They could return to Malawi or they could not. If she wants to help the people just do it don’t put that burden on the kids. What if they end up like any other Hollywood kids?

  41. such as to buy slaves. They should be ashamed to sell their children to this nut.

  42. There are so many celebrities who engaged themselves in adopting kids. Even local celebrities do this too. I’m happy seeing them that they are concern with those who even if they are not theirs.

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