Madonna begged Jose Canseco to hit a home-run in her uterus

July 10th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Apparently Madonna has a thing for married baseball players. Jose Canseco has thrown his hat into the A-Rod fiasco by recounting the time Madonna begged him to knock her up in 1991. Us Weekly reports:

“She wanted to get married and have a child with me — she wanted a Cuban child,” he tells Us.
Canseco recalls: “We went downstairs [at her house in the Hollywood Hills] and she came over and said, ‘What would you do if I kissed you?’ and then sat on my lap and kissed me.”
Madonna even offered to support him if he split with his wife. “She said, ‘I have lots of money. Don’t worry about that,’” Canseco tells Us.

Does anyone else get the impression Madonna is trying to pull an expansion team out of her vagina? Otherwise, I have no freaking clue.


  1. Britney

    CUNT you firsts!

  2. sillysalamander


  3. Sam

    So THAT’S who turned her onto ‘roids!

  4. thats old news from his 1st Juiced book…

  5. Eric

    When she got off his lap he noticed there was some greenish-yellow discharge on his pants…and his wallet was missing.

  6. that’s old news from his first juice box…

  7. sillysalamander

    I think we can pull more than just an entire expansion team out of Madonna’s vagina, I think we can pull an entire town out of her stank-ass twat!!

  8. Poor Conseco, all trying to get attention….first The Surreal Life, now this…..

  9. GinaRae

    Madonna has always had a thing for Latin, cuban, and Spanish men. It’s been well documented. How she ended marrying white ass Guy is beyond me. If they got even a semi-tan she wants them to knock her up. Can’t take the ghetto out of Madge with all her money can you?

  10. Madonna has a thing for muds . . . Whoops! I can’t say muds; it makes veggi upset!

    Well, you know, groids, shitskins, yard apes, porch monkeys . . .

  11. Poor Madonna, I’m sure she is interested in steroid abusers who’s penises have shriveled up.

    Wow, #1 & #2 are double douches! Congrats!

  12. ”She wanted a Cuban child”…

    What the hell?

  13. M. Lewinski

    All I wanted was a Cuban.

  14. Mike

    All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi.

  15. Guy

    All I wanted was for her to die already.

  16. havoc



  17. havoc



  18. Barry Bonds

    I AGREE!

  19. Rafael Palmero

    ME TOO!

  20. Roger Clemens

    ME umm…one…two…THREE!

    Say, does anybody have the phone number of that 13-year-old singer who might be Michael Lohan’s daughter…? I’d like to “support” her…

  21. thecolombian

    god damn leave it up to jose canseco to pop up any time a baseball related incident is in the news.

  22. #9 I think she just likes accents. Remember the 80′s when she did that stupid overly strong Bronx or whatever accent, and now she has a British(ish) accent, she was hoping for a Spanish accent, but she couldn’t get one.

    All she got was a Pepsi..

  23. havoc

    They should deport that piece of cuban dog shit. He fucked a lot of things up for a lot of people.

    I say waterboard that motherfucker at Gitmo….


  24. moneil

    Ew! Conseco is so gross. He just looks like a jerk now, whether its true or not. If you love celebrity gossip, play the newest celebrity trivia at!

  25. Matthew

    madonna before she spoke in her fake british accent

  26. Marie

    What the fuck is up with her arms? It looks like she’s trying to smuggle baggies of drugs in there. Yuck.

  27. Kim Lardassian

    Hispanics are trash, this story proves it.

  28. latty

    blech! who would admit to kissing madonna? britney spears did and look where it got HER…..

    kiss of death? maybe…. maybe….

    I also feel that I must comment on her sick chicken wing arms.

  29. grobpilot

    Remember the alien from the “Alien” movie? Her arms look kind of like that. Oh, and her snatch drips acid.

  30. Jamie's Uterus

    Everyone knows Madonna like to fuck Latin guys. Back in the day, rumor was that she drove around NYC in a limo and would pull them in off the street, fuck her, then she’d kick them out.

  31. PunkA

    Canseco is about as reliable as the devil. The dude mixes his truths with many lies and the real problem is that you never when when the bastard is telling the truth. Not sure even he knows anymore, he is so full of shit. Plus, he has a rela boner for A-Rod, is trying to get him in trouble all the time, delighting in his divorce, and is now trying to 1-up him on Madonna. Canseco is a piece of human trash. Total dirtbag.

  32. fightingfrodo

    punkA- aren’t u a bit baffled by the fact that arod looks MUCH bigger than he did when he started in the league? he’s like barry bonds jr only a yankee, which makes him that much more of a douche

  33. dementa

    If such is the truth, it can only be a matter of days before she steals Je-Lo’s Skeletor.

  34. Jim

    Her arms are very disturbing. I don’t care what the rest of her look like. She is horrid looking.

  35. devilsrain

    She reminds me of carrot top, every time you see her shes more ripped. Lay off the juice psycho.

  36. Julia

    Jose Canseco has taken an enormous amount of steroids by his own admission. He has consistently lied about events he has recounted in the past. He is, however, still searching for ways to remain remotely relevant.

    Although I am no fan of Madonna (and haven’t been in about 20 years), I wouldn’t trust anything Mr. Canseco would say about Madonna or any other woman he swears wanted to bed him….

  37. Janeane The Acerbic Goblin

    What happens when Canseco (who has lied repeatedly) and Madonna (who is known for whoring around) get in a war of words?

    I don’t know, but the world is full of whores. You’ll never run out of them, male or female.

  38. hausfrau

    Her arms are disgusting.

  39. Vas Deferens

    Jose Canseco: Founding Member of the 40/40 Club.

    You should all line up and eat Canseco’s peanut-filled, wet, smelly shit logs.

    Don’t forget two-time World Series champ, bitches.

    Peace out

  40. gnipgnop

    I so want to rip into her beef jerky hide!!!

  41. menotrouble

    1991! what a coward to delive this story now.
    likes to play it safe, eh?
    this guy lacks style, decency and dignity.

  42. menotrouble

    1991! what a coward to deliver this story now.
    likes to play it safe, eh?
    this guy lacks style, decency and dignity.

  43. AC

    She’s so hot and pretty. Seems she is also on interracial dating service ~~~~~b l a c k ce I saw some pics looks like her very much at that club. I will double check it :)

  44. Stowe

    I’m just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M last week and she was seeking her new guy there now! BTW, The girls there are really hot!

  45. If Thy Eye Be Single Jones

    I think Madonna’s sidleline is writing Soap Operas. All those attention whores are pathetic. All Britney has to do is drive to a Starbucks (or a gas station) and she’s got them all beat. Hell will freeze over before Madonna has the balls to shave her head and beat a TMZ paps car with an umbrella.

  46. Captain Jack Sparrow

    This would make a great porn flick and solve all the worlds economic issues.

    Casting would consist of:
    Old lady sex = Medusa
    Taco Bell Brit = Shitney
    ARod = Batter up
    Jose = that little dick dude
    ARods soon to be ex = director

    On second thought – no thanks.

  47. meeatu

    crazy bitch
    she rape him !!!!!!!!!!!

  48. Grunion

    Pretty sure The Devil rays, sorry Rays, already came from Madonnas vag.

  49. FCS

    What a vision of feminity

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