Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues…

August 18th, 2009 // 75 Comments

Here’s Madonna in Portofino, Italy celebrating her 51st birthday and, yes, she’s wearing a jersey with her own name on it. Because a woman who parades around on stage in fishnets can’t wear a bathing suit, she has to look like LeBron James after a terrible bleaching accident. As if that’s not bad enough, after jumping into the water, Madonna finds the sun’s rays to be too harsh and makes an assistant swim out to her. Holding an umbrella. Jesus. Could you imagine if the water was too cold? “Hey. Somebody swim out here and build me a fire. Madonna demands warmth!”

Photos: Fame
superficial

  1. sheana

    didn’t she adopt some young children she should be taking care of?

  2. idontwannamadonna

    Somewhere, the ORIGINAL woman called “The Madonna” continues to spin in her final resting place, calling to her son to stop this crazy succubus.

  3. yuck

    I can’t believe she’s wearing a shirt with her own name on it. Then she’ll probably complain that she’s being recognized/antagonized by the paparazzi. What a crazy old bag. She’s probably in the ocean to feed on krill….

    and dandi, you are most delightful.

  4. madonna is made of handbag

    #13- Hah! Yeah!
    and
    #39- Oh my god, she DOES look like Granny Clampett!!!….

  5. Kelley

    Holy, those cheek implants look RUDE in the side-shots. Too much, man.

  6. Crocoduck

    Look out, snakes have her by the arms!!!

    Oh, sorry, those are just her veins.

  7. Brassy assed hair. She really is a boob. An uneducated boob.

  8. katyperryishot

    well well, it looks like whenever there are some pics where we get to look at those horrible grim reaper arms we see they are very sinewy and boney and just plain wretched!
    are we going to get some more stupid fuckers trying to proclaim that her arms don’t look like that. that they are photoshpoed to look worse than they are- BULLSHIT!!!
    her whole damn body is shit! and she looks awful!
    how many pics will it take for some to face the facts that she looks awful?
    i doubt they will ever accept the truth.

  9. not blonde

    Good luck for any of you haters looking like anything than shi* when you’re all 51. I suspect this was for some photo shoot. Besides, if a girl wants to put on some crazy costume and jump in the ocean – it ain’t nobodies business but their own. Michael Jackson paraded around with his drug addicted body in dumb-a88 costumes and everyone is like “He’s the King”.

  10. bou

    Nanny McPhee

  11. dontlooknow

    I can’t wait to hear how “her people” explain the umbrella in the water….

  12. Rhialto

    I’ve seen Jason Statham making a better dive into the water!

  13. Darth

    #64
    Since she’s working out 24/7 i would have expected at least the same from her! Athletic capacities!?

  14. Galtacticus

    Could there be any sharks in the water? She looks afraid.

  15. Gando

    That umbrella thing.She has probably seen this in Malawi.Maybe people are using there an umbrella against the sun too.

  16. yo

    she looks like fucking gollum. i guess her true age is catching up with her.

  17. A-rod

    This MADNESS needs to be stop! Who is selling steroids to Madaonna!?!? WHO?

  18. When I was in college, Madonna was “the shit”. What the Fuck happend? This cript keeper really needs to go away and never return. I choose to watch “Vision Quest” and remember the good old days!

  19. Holy, those cheek implants look RUDE in the side-shots. Too much, man. Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues…

  20. devilsrain

    “Could you imagine if the water was too cold? “Hey. Somebody swim out here and build me a fire” or someone could just piss near her. Maybe thats why everyone in the water is on top of her. WTF “SWIM VERY CLOSE TO ME OR YOURE FIRED”

  21. AMO

    Reply to macca: Too bad she’s from Detroit…

  22. gwhh

    what happen to you madonna, you use to be cool?

  23. zebop

    I’d hit it, but her dick is bigger than mine.

  24. isa

    You are all jealous. She lives her live entirely not like you guys, who sit infront of your PC and make bad comments…

    Anyway, she does not matter about your comments.. That’s for sure!

  25. Oh I do not know who that woman Hellen Mirren, but you’re right – it looks way better than Madonna. Normally I do not bother to comment, but these pictures of Madonna is just plain disturbing. He has issues.

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