Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues…

August 18th, 2009 // 75 Comments

Here’s Madonna in Portofino, Italy celebrating her 51st birthday and, yes, she’s wearing a jersey with her own name on it. Because a woman who parades around on stage in fishnets can’t wear a bathing suit, she has to look like LeBron James after a terrible bleaching accident. As if that’s not bad enough, after jumping into the water, Madonna finds the sun’s rays to be too harsh and makes an assistant swim out to her. Holding an umbrella. Jesus. Could you imagine if the water was too cold? “Hey. Somebody swim out here and build me a fire. Madonna demands warmth!”

Photos: Fame
superficial

  1. Que

    Que undettered leather.

  2. Shep

    Looks like some sort of mid evil experiment to see if she’s a witch or not……. I know which one I’m putting my money on

  3. spaaanky

    I heard her right shoulder has sustained a ton of sun damage. Good thing she has that umbrella. Idiot.

  4. Sport

    she’s frightening. Fucking scary.

  5. KKK

    white people are dumb

  6. The 'A' Man

    Thank heavens she aint wearing a bikini!!!!!

  7. dandi

    I was out last night when think about this lady of music and whiteness. She shine on my head brain and I thinking, why the sun so afraid of the skin of her? Then I hit head with me palm and said, ‘FACEPALM!’ and makes me laugh.

  8. ptooey

    picked scab

  9. Christhebliss

    Madonna: The new face of geriatrics

  10. dandi

    I was out last night when think about this lady of music and whiteness. She shine on my head brain and I thinking, why the sun so afraid of the skin of her? Then I hit head with me palm and said, ‘FACEPALM!’ and makes me laugh.

  11. dandi

    I was out last night when think about this lady of music and whiteness. She shine on my head brain and I thinking, why the sun so afraid of the skin of her? Then I hit head with me palm and said, ‘FACEPALM!’ and makes me laugh.

  12. gaggletooth

    Ican’tfindthespacebar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. farles chew

    “Death Takes a Dip”

  14. TUBBO

    Natalie Wood drowns and just our luck this freak has cork up her ass……….

  15. Oh, I know these pictures!

    They’re from an exclusive photoshoot for http://www.gothsinhotweather.com

  16. Jill Smith

    that lady is stupid

  17. Madonna who?

    #’s 7, 10, 11- LMFAO!!!!

  18. macca

    She’s crossing into MJ territory. Watch the trashy NJ Italiano chick morph into the Bristish royal sunfreak skeletor…

  19. Madonna who?

    #’s 7, 10, 11- LMFAO!!!!

  20. Savalas

    Nice gams, granny!

  21. $avalas

    Nice gams, granny!

  22. Shavalas

    Sorry! Ignore comment 21 and look at comment 20!

  23. Carolyn

    My god but she’s ugly.

  24. material bag

    like a sturgeon….hey

  25. Guido

    Ugly thick calloused Italian mammone’s feet…make me some homemade tomato sauce bitch!…an get me a beer yuze at it

  26. dandi

    When I make facepalm, its makes me think, do others in around me say ‘hey, that girl is giving facepalm for? Does she drink crazy juices for breakfast?”

    I hope they think it crazy. Cause I facepalm again and scream ‘I do it again!!!!!’ and then I slap the knee..

  27. dandi

    When I make facepalm, its makes me think, do others in around me say ‘hey, that girl is giving facepalm for? Does she drink crazy juices for breakfast?”

    I hope they think it crazy. Cause I facepalm again and scream ‘I do it again!!!!!’ and then I slap the knee..

  28. Io

    there are truly some desperate people in this world. were I a man, I would rather have my penis shrivel up, turn to dust and be carried away in the wind that to even think of allowing it anywhere near the crypt keeper, not to mention allowing my mouth near hers or her twat

  29. Max Planck

    Be careful what you say here.

    She may unleash her flying monkeys.

  30. Gacked on Madonna

    Dignity and seclusion are two words this ugly fuck should look up. She needs a body guard or 4 because every average man wants to throw her down a flight of stairs. When she was tweny and had hairy arm pits she would suck your dick for twenty bucks, she got worse with age. Proof no matter how much money some people have they will always be assholes.

  31. dandi

    But I have never heard of the monkeys flying!!! It does scare me that I think now they use their tail for helecopter. Whip whip whip around and shoot up in the big sky!!!!!!
    FACEPALM!!
    I never knew the monkey flying!!!!
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

  32. dandi

    But I have never heard of the monkeys flying!!! It does scare me that I think now they use their tail for helecopter. Whip whip whip around and shoot up in the big sky!!!!!!
    FACEPALM!!
    I never knew the monkey flying!!!!
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

  33. sandwichman

    dandi, marry me.

  34. mrs.t

    make sure at least one of her adopted kids is wearing and ‘i heart madonna’ t-shirt….it’s in nanny handbook. she will cut you.

    and can dandi run for office?

  35. mrs.t

    make sure at least one of her adopted kids is wearing and ‘i heart madonna’ t-shirt….it’s in nanny handbook. she will cut you.

    and can dandi run for office?

  36. Nice going, try to hide from the sun. She doin it to keep wrinkles of her forhead or something? Cuz I dont see the big issue, she can just have another plastic operation if she starts getting wrinkles.. xD

  37. Stinky

    The sun is winning…

  38. Cant believe that a star of her size (erhmm..) can behave so strange.. I mean, come on, clothes with her own name on them? xD

  39. Rasputins Liver

    .

    OH FOR THE LOVE OF FREEKIN’ GAWD!!

    Mad-donna looks fuckin’ hagged beyond belief. She looks like Grannie Clampett for cryin’ out loud. She should be ashamed! But barring that, the very least she could do is spare the rest of us the sight of her grotesquery.

    The great British actrss Helen Mirren at 64 years old looks a 1000 times better in a bikini than does Hagdonna! Check it out:

    http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2008/7/hellen-mirren-bikini.jpg

    [img]http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2008/7/hellen-mirren-bikini.jpg[/img]

    .

  40. Kelley

    Good post, but what’s with the three times ?? Helen really looks awesome.

  41. Sarah

    Hey I don’t know who that lady Hellen Mirren is, but you’re right – she looks way better than Madonna. Normally I don’t bother to comment, but these pictures of Madonna are just plain annoying. She has issues.

  42. Courtyardpigeon

    Seriously, and umbrella in the water?

  43. at least she’s keeping that shit under wraps. mostly. can’t believe that young dude is doing her.weird

  44. Sarah2

    she’s trying to fill the creepy pale superstar void left by jacko…

  45. Sarah2

    she’s trying to fill the creepy pale superstar void left by jacko…

  46. Biff

    Hey, look at the dog! And the cute little poodle, too.

  47. girl

    She knows nobody wants to see her disgusting
    zombie body.

  48. Vince

    Hey #18. for the record she is from Detroit Michigan and then she lived in New York City she is not from New Jersey. This bitch is about as Italian as the Olive Garden. She is an utter disgrace to Italians everywhere!

  49. mad-donna

    that young dude is doing her because hes a latino and latinos are menwhores that could bang any old creepy hag for money ! no one in the world (besides her gays fans) could find this woman atractive or nice, she s a shameless, megalomaniac, ugly cunt !
    but hey,
    look at the black kid wearing that stupid shirt *i love maddona* WTF ! and the other latino looking at them while they kiss ! priceless, he s like WOW, gross ! but i guess the money is good though, so keep fucking the hag JESUS !

    BTW very nice swimsuit you old miserable hag !

  50. mad-donna

    that young dude is doing her because hes a latino and latinos are menwhores that could bang any old creepy hag for money ! no one in the world (besides her gays fans) could find this woman atractive or nice, she s a shameless, megalomaniac, ugly cunt !
    but hey,
    look at the black kid wearing that stupid shirt *i love maddona* WTF ! and the other latino looking at them while they kiss ! priceless, he s like WOW, gross ! but i guess the money is good though, so keep fucking the hag JESUS !

    BTW very nice swimsuit you old miserable hag !

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