Even though she possesses the Hands of Death, Madonna is surprisingly not welcome in the Hamptons, according to Page Six:
A couple of weekends ago, Madonna, who recently signed a contract for a townhouse on East 81st Street, stayed at the beautiful Wolffer Estate Vineyards in Sagaponack. But our sources report she wasn’t interested in buying the 12,000-square-foot, Tuscan-style villa and 100 acres, which have been on the market since the winery’s well-liked founder, Christian Wolffer, died in a freak boating accident in Brazil on New Year’s Eve — she just wanted to board her horses at the winery’s stables.
Madonna then presented the estate with a 10-page list of demands, according to our source. Among the stipulations were that “no one could be in the riding ring at the same time she was. It was laughable. They turned her down flat.”
This naturally resulted in Madonna taking to the air and breathing fire upon a nearby Crate and Barrel until a suitable number of Lexuses were sacrificed in her honor.
Sirus | April 30, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I would have kicked her out regardless of whether or not she had a list of demands, she looks like the bitchy type.
soup | April 30, 2009 at 2:32 pm
If nobody wants to screw Madonna, hey, I’d take her. Lemme bone that b!tch for once. Sh!t, I’d tap that ass anytime, for real.
Superbiggerevil | April 30, 2009 at 2:42 pm
#2 – You really need the money that bad?
mikeock | April 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Is Lourdes 18 yet, because Id sure like to plow that little werewolf.
mikew | April 30, 2009 at 3:09 pm
that would be lexi (lex eye)
your writers suck! the bastardly is much better!
Misanthrope | April 30, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Lexuses
Lexi?
Evan Faine | April 30, 2009 at 3:10 pm
She looks pretty damn good, better than all these new fake-boobed, injected-lips freaks like that Shauna Sands chick or w/e her name is.
zognor: lord of reptiles | April 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm
She is part vampire. I’m surprised they didn’t chase her off with pitchforks. Good lookin’ out.
Carolyn | April 30, 2009 at 3:16 pm
#7, are you blind? She looks like shit with that long stringy hair. With all her money she absolutely never wears anthing that looks like she didn’t get it out ot a landfill.
Famous Plastic | April 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Oh please, like that is an outrageous request from someone that will spent tens (hundreds?) of thousands of dollars to rent your little horsey arena…
WTF Again? | April 30, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Good news for the wicked bitch of death, Sean Penn is back on the market again. They deserve each other.
Mr. Jones | April 30, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Doesn’t the stink of evil totally freak out normal horses?
She probably rides the same creatures the Nazgul use. Glowing red eyes. Hideous vapor pouring out of the nose. Feet covered with vile ichor. And I’m talking about the rider.
devilsrain | April 30, 2009 at 3:50 pm
10. Yea thats not an unreasonable request, but a 10 page list of demands? Fuck her
Holly | April 30, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Odd how he died right when she needed to board her horses. I want to hear more about the freak boating accident.
Did it involve a Succubus? Assault with a deadly arm-vein? Being eaten alive by a geriatric vulva?
Holly | April 30, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Odd how he died of a freak accident right when she needed to board her horses.
Was a Succubus involved? Death via assault with a deadly arm vein? Devoured alive by giant geriatric vulva with teeth???
Holly | April 30, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Odd how he died of a freak accident right when she needed to board her horses.
Was a Succubus involved? Death via assault with a deadly arm vein? Devoured alive by giant geriatric vulva with teeth???
Stomp | April 30, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Fuck this disco bitch. She needs to listen to old prog rock. Happy Walpurgis night…..Witch.
n | April 30, 2009 at 9:56 pm
what are her 10 pages of demands? the people want to know.
norton | April 30, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Let’s see. What do you get when you put a marginally talented, oversexed catholic schoolgirl with a middle aged pervert music producer in the 80′s?
Madonna!!!!!!!
Fast forward 20+ years and…….
An obscenely rich, oversexed and still marginally talented cunt with no taste and a major case of self importance.
Nouveau Riche lives on!!!!!!!!
Makes you wanna’ go buy a CD doesn’t it?
Jesmi | May 1, 2009 at 1:29 am
She looks like shit with that long stringy hair.
mobile-phone-blog
gerard vandenberg | May 1, 2009 at 1:40 am
is it “CRAZYNESS” or just ËVEL”, folks?
Meream | May 1, 2009 at 4:38 am
I always have nightmares about having hands like hers when I get old. *shudders*
RichPort's Ghost | May 1, 2009 at 8:38 am
I can’t wait until one of her brood decides they too want to sing about sex and teenage pregnancy…
Sauron | May 1, 2009 at 9:00 am
If something huge and powerful like me,surrounded by loud thunder and bright lightning,approach then humans like her have to look down. . . I’ve the feeling she maybe start to understand it.
Darth | May 1, 2009 at 10:35 am
If a masculin,masked and tall guy like me approach then you must look down as well.Only hot,sexy girls are allowed to look at me.
Nero | May 1, 2009 at 10:44 am
I don’t mind people looking up to me.As long they are hot and female and on their knees in front of my unzipped pants.
gurlina | May 1, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Hey maybe Madge and Sean will get back together!
Annie Nonymous | May 1, 2009 at 4:09 pm
@ FamousPlastic and Devilsrain: Actually, it IS an unreasonable request. The people who are already paying to keep and riding their horses there are supposed to just clear out whenever Madonna decides to show up and ride? Fuck that noise. I teach 7-year-olds who aren’t afraid to ride in front of other people — she must be a shitty rider if she’s afraid to do it in front of anyone else. I have no pity for her and her gargantuan sense of entitlement.
Stop hating | May 1, 2009 at 5:14 pm
She looks fantastic. Like how she used to look.
You all hate her because she’s a powerful woman, and she’s over 50 and doesn’t just slink off into the shadows.
As for outrageous sense of entitlement, there are far worse offenders at whom you should direct your wrath. Madonna entertains and you’re free to take her or leave her. She doesn’t ask for bailouts or steal life savings.
Ali | May 3, 2009 at 9:38 am
Look at those nasty old lady hands. Soon she will have to wear gloves.
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I love that this is the only picture I’ve ever seen that appears to be a candid taken behind the scenes perhaps even without their knowledge…and they could not seem less interested in one another. LOL. So perfect.
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sumvision cyclone | May 7, 2010 at 1:23 am
She hardly access Nazgul ride creatures. Glowing red eyes. Disgusting steam pouring out of nose. Legs covered with vile ichor. And I’m talking about the riders.
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