Madonna is apparently so fanatical about her workout routine that she would keep a strict itinerary that determined when she had sex with Guy Ritchie. Wait. Married people have sex? That can’t be right… The Daily Mail reports:
A source close to the couple told the MailOnline last night: ‘With her time being so
precious to her, and with there being more important things to her like spending three of four hours in the gym every day, it become just another thing in the diary. In the last couple of years, it was all schemed into the diary.
‘Guy of course felt this a tremendous turn-off to be at the same level of importance as, for example, her gym sessions and Kabbalah meetings.
‘As a consequence, their sex life died more than a year ago. It is no exaggeration to say that they had not shared a bed in a year when the divorce was announced. And when the sex died for them, the marriage was doomed.’
ASSISTANT: Pardon me, sir, but there appears to be a naked corpse in your study.
GUY: Bloody hell. What day is it?
ASSISTANT: Excuse me, sir?
GUY: For Chrissakes, man, what’s the date?
ASSISTANT: The 14th.
GUY: No, it can’t be. It’s our anniversary. Fetch me a Crucifix and be quick about it.
GUY: She’s taken flight! The Crucifix, man, THE CRUCIFIX!
GUY: *picks up phone* A-Rod? Guy Ritchie. Can you come over for a minute?
GUY: Oh, yeah, she’s ready.