Madonna really sucks at adopting

October 19th, 2006 // 70 Comments

madonna_david.jpgRight after her new baby David was officially delivered to her London home, Madonna reportedly took off and hit the gym. Additionally, “what should have been a quiet, bonding experience with the Malawian baby of her choice, turned into a circus with convoys of 4x4s racing along dirttracks to the Mission of Hope orphanage where [Madonna] handed out signed copies of her books.”

So instead of food or medicine, this egotistical bitch handed out signed copies of her book. To starving Africans. Who probably can’t read. She might as well have given them autographed pictures of herself. Not only that, but the child she chose to adopt still has a father. Instead of saving a true orphan, she chose the one kid that actually has family. She’s doing pretty much every wrong thing you can do when adopting a child. If she was making a pizza, right about now she’d be smashing some glass into the dough and looking for some watermelons for the pizza sauce.


  1. NipsyHustle

    i suspect that the future trend will be down syndrome babies. they even have their own doll line.

  2. JoannieBalonie

    Oh. I see. Thank you for clearing all that up for me. As long as you dont call me a mexican.

  3. BarbadoSlim

    #50…I think you might be right there, although I can’t imagine how she would have the time to hang around here seeing as how she’s writing a riveting expose on the return of Parachute pants and Members Only jackets and how they go FABULOUSLY with high heels.

  4. Colleen

    #50 and #53 – Nope, sorry, I’m not Sarah Jean. I’m just a regular reader who felt like chiming in. Sorry if there’s any confusion.

  5. commissioner


    They all have the same Paris-like expression. Mouth agape, tongue hanging out.

  6. Greco

    Maybe she’s raising him to bang when she gets older. He’ll be brought up to have no idea that eighty-year-old whores are ugly. Adoption: it’s like raising your own veal.

    Also, giving signed books to starving Africans is just like that Marie Antoinette “let them eat cake” myth.

  7. kate

    What a bitch. I see Mommie Dearest II in about 25 years.

    Does she have a display shelf for this kid or what? “Just put the kid on the pedestal, his first viewing is in an hour.”

    And I’m SO glad someone else has finally said something about that ridiculous idea to hand out her fucking book. I’m pretty sure they’d rather have a bag of rice or something that’s actually useful, you dumb bitch. Ugh.

    And I really wish people would relax about the comments made here. Its a fucking internet board.

  8. Madonna is a medieval Italian term for a noble or otherwise important woman and apparently she believes she is enough to adopt a child with a father while there are starving children right here in America.

  9. HughJorganthethird

    Ther’s only one reason Madonna kidnapped this child. Stem cells baby. bitch is going to live to be 150 now, just watch.

  10. biatcho

    #59, As Don Imus said just this morning, it’s not as good a photo-op picking up a kid from east St. Louis as it is picking it up in Africa.

    I don’t know how these celebs sleep at night knowing how positiviely wretched they all are.

  11. RichPort

    Biatcho – You like the Mets AND Imus? My wife better look out…

  12. ImaniOU

    @45 Amen! Mental midgets abound when they target an infant with racist remarks. They don’t call it ignorance for nothing.

    I guess Madonna has adopted because she’s not as likely to get criticized for ignoring someone else’s kids. And I guess when African babies go out of style, she can send him back to his dad with one of her books. Maybe she’ll use one of her children’s books. They certainly make for better diapers than for intelligent children’s literature.

  13. cycloneblondie

    She’s a freaking “has been” COW!!! She could have adopted a “true blue AIDS orphan”…but nahhhhhh! She rips the cute lil boy away from his Dad!!! If she wanted to really help the lil tyke out, she could have just dropped $100K (some “petty cash”) into a “trust fund” for David’s future…leaving his Dad able to raise him/give him a good life. I HATE HER!!! I hope her tits fall to the ground and KARMA kicks her fair up her ancient ole useless Kaballah arse!!! agggghhhhhhhhh
    She makes me wanna vomit!

  14. AmberDextrose

    Actually in the old bitch’s defence (sorry, I’m back to that again), could she actually adopt in the US, seeing as she’s livin in the UK?

    And the UK adoption process is hell – worse than living on a reality show – and they hate old people (ie anyone over 35) adopting.

    Then again this is Madonna, so the whole exercise is warped but I’ll shut up now.

  15. Eye-Dish Lass

    @ 13 months of age, this little boy has been ripped from his Father!! He is NOT an orphan. Madonna sadly knows the absolute hell of losing a parent as a child…now this little boy has lost BOTH his parents. I don’t get it. And sure….David WILL forget his Dad and Africa, but why should he?

  16. aurealis

    Yo, did she show up in Malawi prepared with baby wife-beater and Federline-ish jeans for this kid?

  17. lol, ‘delivered’…..what does she think it is, a pizza?

  18. jenna

    Madonna is queen of the cunts. I can hate her if I want to and do with much venom thanks. She makes me want to vomit. To hear that she handed out books to those people…Christ..that is beyond tacky. They don’t give a crap…you media whore.
    I wish Kathy Griffin would stuff a pineapple up Madonna’s peesh.

  19. The other thing that bothers my about celebrity mass adoption is that it reminds me of people going to the pound to pick out a puppy. They just do it on a whim. When a non-celeb adopts it takes years and a lot of money they don’t really have. It *means* something to them. And I can’t help but think that there’s a direct correlation with the amount of attention the child receives after the first 2 years of their life.

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