Madonna puts the moves on Lindsay Lohan

June 15th, 2006 // 71 Comments

After dumping Britney Spears as a friend, Madonna has supposedly turned her attention to Lindsay Lohan after finding out she’s been looking into Kabbalah. In Touch Weekly reports that Madonna has been talking to her multiple times a week and wants to sing a duet with her.


  1. andrewthezeppo

    Um, should ANYONE take advice on a film career from Madonna? She makes Sean Young’s career look impressive.

  2. Giggles

    Madonna IS desperate. This is proof positive.

  3. libertarienne

    You’re right. Madonna hasn’t done anything nearly as good as Dune or Bladerunner during her entire career. That’s 2 for 0 right there. Nice reference!

  4. HughJorganthethird

    “she wants to work on a film with Madonna, too!

  5. limper

    When Madonna and Lindsay get to the “Holy Land”, Ariel Sharon should build a wall around them. For the sake of global security. Or in the name of good taste. Whichever.

  6. Iambananas

    Answer me this…

    Is Madonna English or not? I thought she was born in Michigan or something and now she speaks the Queen’s English.

  7. jane's eyre


    Hate to break it to you, but Sharon’s not up for any wall-builing. Coma, you know.

  8. suzy

    madonna is looking for a new project and wants to make lindsay the new britney

  9. PelvicBoogie

    WTF? Is Madonna dying and looking for a new host body?

  10. Darwin's Sister

    NO, LINDSAY, RUN!! Look what happened to Britney after Madonna got her grimy, red string wearing, hands on her? I think Madonna requested to eat baby Sean’s placentia.

    Esther is the anti-christ. If Madonna was the devil, would she have a fire crotch?

  11. herbiefrog

    …we’d love to join in
    …but you know us
    …only the truth

    mads has been searching for the boy
    for so long that she has
    pretty much given up
    it was so long ago
    i was only five

    …anyway, she began to believe
    …that she would never find him
    …and started to look for close

    but they are all lies babe
    nothing compares
    to the real thing [thanks sinead]

    so snip that
    did we say ignorant?
    red string shit

    it’s fucking shit
    they made it up
    and charged you for it

    get a grip

    fucking take a break
    and listen inside
    someone is coming home
    it is time for the boy
    to communicate

    …and you’d better not stand in his way
    …lol bitch

    wanna try ? :)))

  12. Vonski

    I bet other celebrities think of Madonna as the ‘mentally challenged’ kid that goes to every highschool. They all chuckle and whisper to themselves as one of them invites Madonna over to their table because they are pretending to be the retarded kid’s friend. Then when she finally comes over, all happy to be one of the popular kids, the other kids steal her milk and cookies and trip her. Then, because she’s retarded, she falls for it all over again the next day.

    I hated high school… and have yet to taste a chocolate chip cookie.

  13. ShowtimeHowie

    Having Madonna as a spiritual advisor is like having the Corky kid from, “Life Goes On”, as your major professor in Astrophysics.

  14. ChickenScratch

    Dear Madonna,
    It’s over, you are a has been, deal with it.

    Dear Lindsay-
    It’s almost over, you will be a has been.

    Dear Paris-
    Close your legs.

    Dear Brittany-
    I appreciate you wanting to procreate, but please stop now, you are only making things worse.


  15. MystressJade

    #31 I laughed so loud, my coworkers think I’m psychotic. With your help, my plan to somehow get fired today was successful.

    Drinks are on me…..

  16. prideofchucky

    And here’s to you Missus Ritchie-son!Kabbalah luvs you more than you will knnnooow-nah-no-no”


  17. prideofchucky


    “Where-have-you-gone Jeff Spicoli-oo our nation turns it’s lonely eyes to yooouuu”


  18. Lindsay is perhaps young but not inevitably idote! It is necessary to stop making a bringing together with Michael Jackson especially if it is in connection with the paedophilia! Lindsay is adult, and Madonna is far from being idiot or harmful. Two Madonna are better than only Tom Cruise

  19. ILikeBukkake

    Madonna is nice. I remember her hit “Lucky Star”. Im not lucky. But I do have an interest in Bukkake. Am I bad for that?3

  20. I don’t understnad why Madonna suddenlt turned anarchist? Or has she always been like this?

  21. Danklin

    Madonna doing a movie with Lindsay Lohan is like Steven Segal doing a movie with James van der Beek. It would just make for hours of insanely bad acting.

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