Madonna prefers a train to the face over marriage

October 1st, 2009 // 32 Comments

Madonna appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman last night and revealed she’d “rather get hit by a train” than marry again which is great. Wonderful. There’s another thing that obviously won’t kill her since she just rubbed it in my face. Time to update the list:

Things That Might Kill Madonna

Guy Ritchie
Catholics
The tears of small African children
Voltron
Meteor rocks
The engorged penis of a Brazilian model
GOOP
Gypsies
Pizza
Trains
Excalibur

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. these pretzels are making me _______.

    Where’s “holy water”?

  2. these pretzels are making me _______.

    Where’s “holy water”?

  3. em

    You know what you must do, Fish.

    There can be only one.

  4. I think we should test her on the train comment…sick of this winkled prune

  5. Io

    that’s wonderful news. guess she doesn’t live in a fantasy world where young gay brazilians really want to stick it in her with a side of legal document verifying that it’s ok to do so.

  6. The Gorgeous One

    Thanks for the laughs this morning Fish. I needed that.

  7. Booey

    Voltron could totally kill her

  8. Let’s wait and see what she will do in future!

  9. Crabby Old Guy

    Oh Hell, Madonna died years ago – she just doesn’t know it yet.

  10. Larry Budd

    Dave.

  11. AMO

    Why does she wear a cross?

  12. 24KaratK9

    I ate at Angelino’s this summer and it was not that great. I’ve had better NY-style pizza.

  13. EB

    You forgot A-Rod

  14. herbiefrog

    if you yorkin’ for them best that you dont

    or you could just turn it around

    br e a t h e : ))

    love babe : )))

  15. lololololol

    a train won’t do shit to this bitch…she’lljust spread her legs wide open and let that train pull into that subway sized twat of her’s.

  16. Appreciative

    When you’re funny, you’re funny – and that was funny.

  17. Del

    Well maybe this will stop her from marrying again.

  18. phil

    Ugh. What a fatso.

  19. squeehunter

    You forgot to add “me” to the list.

  20. Rhialto

    There’s a lot of guests lined up outside!

  21. Darth

    It’s just like 30 years ago.She doesn’t say no to a free dinner.

  22. Galtacticus

    Madonna and Letterman as a couple?! I wouldn’t be surprised if she does have secretly a crush on him. . .

  23. Gando

    @25
    Eight times a visit on the same show that’s just a bit conspicuous. . . It’s no wonder she denied the marriage rumors.

  24. Madonna can’t help being a slut. She just is!

  25. KL

    She’s a lot cuter and funnier here than you’d think here. She actually comes across as a human being. She must like Dave.

  26. Chris

    I wouldn’t fuck her with Obama’s dick!

    PS- see the latest pictures of her with flies on her twat at matureskanks.com

    PPS- Aren’t you glad Ted Kennedy died a slow painful death!

  27. Sergio

    Why is Jesus sleeping with this thing that should have been dead a long time ago?!!!

  28. Oh Hell, Madonna died years ago – she just doesn’t know it yet.

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