Here’s a nude portrait of Madonna and Guy Ritchie painted in 2005 that goes up for auction on Saturday in Scotland. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume the artist is blind, so no one had the heart to tell him: A.) He was supposed to paint Madonna not Britney Spears. And B.) Guy Ritchie isn’t a 1920s caricature of a black man trying to steal “the white womens.” Stop me if I’m getting warm.
NOTE: Pic links to NSFW version, so don’t get fired looking at cartoon nips.
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Uglyest painting ever. Sure it´s not Madonna ? Doesn´t she look like that in the morning ?
Is it just me, or does the “woman” in the painting actually look exactly like Sarah Jessica Parker?
Wow. I’d have thought it was supposed to be something about cave people titled “The Dawn of Man.” I would bet two things: 1) Madonna hated it. And 2) Ritchie is auctioning it off publicly just to piss her off. Both work for me.
It’s actually a rather flattering likeness of her.
bahahahaha. #2, YES.
Why did they pose it with Guy Ritchie lying down?
That’s exactly how Dee Snider of Twisted Sister would look now, if he straightened his hair.
The tall building in the background is a metaphor for Madonna’s penis. I am an Art Major, so I know this stuff.
I don’t know fish, seems to me that painting of madonna is casting her in a very beautiful light
Too bad the artist didn’t have the courage to paint her erection.
LOL #2. Yes, yes she does. An apt superfish description too. Hats off.
I suppose the stars are for comedic relief?
I’d like to congratulate the artist–I never thought anyone could paint anything uglier than a LeRoy Neiman painting. I freely admit I was wrong.
Too much meat on her to be Madonna..
.
Too much meat on her to be Madonna..
.
That’s Bullet Tooth Tony in a painting with a female likeness of Woody Allen…
@2: She DOES look like Sarah Jessica Parker! Before I read the headline I thought it was a painting of her. Maybe that man is not Guy Richie but just some random New York construction worker!
Why are we always told there’s a NSFW version and there never is? I’m never getting fired at this rate.
I think she looks just magnifico here! I have all her albums and me and the girls (with cocks) still dance into the wee hours of the night to her rhythms (I have a hard time these days with me illness).
Go Lady M!!!
Kisses (Hershey’s of course darlings)
Guy sort of looks like a tan version of sloth.
looks like Streisand
As a Scot all I can say is……..WTF!!!!!!!
A trifecta! Now, not only can’t she act & sing, she can’t paint either! Why oh why can’t this washed up twat just GO AWAY already???
That reminds of the women I brought home from Seacrets in OC,MD.
Not only couldnt I get a hard-on, it actually retracted, like a turtle’s head
Sadly the scary painting looks 1000% times better than the scary real thing.
Where’s Guy’s dick?
UGH….looks like Donatella Versace.
STILL HAS STARS ON FISH !!
#23 You missed the artist’s signature in the corner. The portrait’s OF her, not BY her. And she can’t act for shit, that’s true.
I hope she didn’t pay money for this. It looks like they painted Tara Reid’s right tit instead.
I said zombie, you stupid painter – not cave troll!
Looks like Fabio with breasts
It’s by a Scottish artist Peter Howson, who is fucking brilliant.
Tutuly Sarah Jessica Parker or Donatella Versace-two good answers. I knew going into the comments they would say shit like “What? This is a perfect artist rendering!”
so funny-
but really man this is one shitty ass artist….. he’s like “Presto! Your wedding portrait is done!” the bride just starts bawling and punching the groom.
Nah, looks too good to be Madonnkey.
#10- I spit out my drink on that ! The absolute best!
Madonna has a small cock. But, lucky for her, she is still thin and flexible enough to suck it. Plus, her boys love it when she pokes them in the ass with it.
#2 yes, it does resemble Sarah Jessica Parker! Hahaha, genius! And..when did Madonna get boobs?
It’s actually a painting depicting the night that Andre the Giant was conceived.
This is the style of the artist.Artists have their ‘signature.’
To tell you all honestly.The first time when i arrived in the West,i saw all the people like this artist does.I recognize his style.
The artist definitely captured her muscular man arms… If it wasn’t for that, my first thought would have been Linda Hogan.
@41 That’s why he’s making his Neanderthal jokes! Something from the past. . .
At least her belly button looks Asian!
After several succesful surgeries i’ve become finally a caucasian myself!
#45 I hope you didn’t have the same surgeon who did Michael Jackson?
Rubbish! Madonna has never looked that good.
Wahey! my landlord actually has another painting by the same artist hanging in our house right now! lol
I’d recognize Mike Tyson anywhere, but who’s the guy behind Mike with the big hand?
Madge is seeing herself like this?
PRETTY HONEST THOUGH!!