Madonna meets with divorce lawyer

June 26th, 2008 // 66 Comments

Madonna has reportedly met with high-powered London divorce attorney Fiona Shackleton who recently represented Paul McCartney and was able to protect most of his assets from Heather Mills. In fact, Fiona was so effective she had water dumped over head in the courtroom by Paul’s ex. However, this doesn’t look to be a long drawn out legal battle since there is so much money at stake. Typically, these matters are resolved quickly. The Times of London reports:

James Stewart, a family partner with the leading London firm Manches, said: “These big money divorces are either terribly straightforward, because there is enough money to give those involved a fair share — more so than where there is not much money –or they go to court, because one side is either mean or greedy.
“But this is subject to departure, depending on factors such as the length of a marriage, how the matrimonial assets were created; the special or stellar contribution that either one of the couple, such as Madonna, may have made before the marriage.”

If given a choice between seeing Madonna’s face and arms again in court, Guy Ritchie will most likely settle for a small lump sum of change. And, if his lawyers are good enough, the secret amulet that returns Madonna to her grave. You know, in case she seeks revenge or wants to renegotiate the condo.


  1. Angry Lawyer

    In the divorce settlement, she gets to keep his balls and has visitation rights with the strap-on. He gets back his career. Maybe.

  2. I’d love to feel her hard veiny fist and tough sinewy forearm all the way up my ass.

  3. bernie

    We will all remember where we were the day love died.

  4. Be aggressive!


  5. Professor Henry Higgins

    She’s so deliciously low, so horribly dirty!

    Women are irrational, that’s all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They’re nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!

  6. veggi

    I hope she cleans him out. I’m sick and tired of seeing the guys make out like bandits on divorces, after they do absolutely nothing to contribute to the family.

  7. sunshine

    Will she be granted the right to keep her fake Brittish accent?

  8. Rome

    England, rejoice!
    Let’s hope the hag moves her sinewy ass back to the US.

  9. veggi

    Jimbo – you’re a sick fuck

  10. greece

    she looks like the olsen twins here..

  11. NY Ted

    Holy Crap Batman…what the hell has she been pumping into her arm veins?

    Liquid Draino…!!!

  12. bakinmycake

    Surprised she has not been linked to JT.

    Do we have to take her back?

    Can we have Boy George instead?

  13. Really Jimbo get a life

  14. Eric

    Supposedly because of all her workouts 1/8th of an inch is the largest diameter of any of her poops.

  15. mamadough

    your british honour, don’t you think having sex with her was punishment enough? i rest my case.

    mumra’s mother = heebee geebees, bah!

  16. p0nk

    @11, damn good catch!

  17. sameshitdifferentyear

    Forget the pansy courts, this should be decided by MMA match.
    Of course my money’s on “madonna”, check out those fucking pipes and delts.

    What do you think her testosterone / estrogen ratio is right now?

  18. @18, shut the fuck up, who cares douche. Because thats a realistic scenerio, lets all guess her testosterone/estrogren ratio. Damn Troll.

  19. hes hot

    I honestly don’t know how she got such a hot guy in the first place… she’s such a fug!!!

  20. EuroNeckPain

    It’s time for a change. He is getting old. His hairline is receding, he’s got wrinkles and is not attractive any more.

  21. EuroNeckPain

    Not to say that he’s ever been attractive in the first place.. In fact he is very average, she could do much better than that

  22. Wow, now my trolls (#19) are yelling at my other trolls (#3) LOL.

    Guy Ritchie might want some of Madonna’s fortune but I’m sure she made sure to keep it protected from him. usually it’s the woman who is a scumbag trying to get more money (Mrs. Bill Murray) but in this case it is Madonna keeping her $ from her ex-idiot.

  23. aero

    ummmm, those are her nipples aren’t they, isn’t that usually marked NSFW?

  24. sameshitdifferentyear

    #19 i’ve gotta say, i have no idea what your fucking point is sportsdvl, do you actually have a comment to make on the topic loser?

  25. sameshitdifferentyear

    #23 sorry about the lashback (#25), there’s no simple registration at this fucking place so anyone can use any name they want!!
    i should’ve known better than to respond to something (negative) directed towards me at this site…………
    On Frist’s b’day (or whatever) we should all use her handle/name, the entire forum with all the same name posts for the entire day..

  26. Vince Lombardi

    pic #3 is NSFW

  27. Lola

    WOW…. she’s such a buff and handsome man… must be hard when you’re always being mistaken as the husband in a marriage Madonna…. cheer up tho love, now you have all the time in the world to brush up on your british accent…. PIP PIP CHEERIOS!!!!

  28. sportsdvl

    #26 – thanks, I try to keep my negative comments to the useless semi-celebs shown on this site and to those losers who have no life and get excited about being the first to post.

  29. Ted from LA

    I can’t tell, is this Mary Kate or Ashley?

  30. toolboy

    Why is William Dafoe in drag again???

  31. JimmyBachaFungool

    I guess she missed all that black and latino meat so the fair skinned Englishman is done. She is a skanky whore with mushrooms growing all over her privates.

  32. eww

    @24 – They showed her face didn’t they? her nipples can’t be much worse than that.

  33. TJ

    She’s so masculine looking that if I poled her up her hershey highway I’d feel like a homosexual.


  34. Good! Now maybe he can go back to making decent movies again. Does she get to keep the accent?

  35. my comment

    Her dress is just so fuggin’ ugly.

  36. jill


  37. missywissy

    Show me a man who wants to play second fiddle to his wife and I’ll sell you some ocean front property in New Mexico. I don’t know any man that is at the shit end of the totem pole and that desires his wife. This may sound old fashioned, but it’s the cold hard truth.

  38. sapphire eyes

    Maybe she could end up marrying one of the English princes.

    Or … adopting them.

  39. madgee

    she will not get divorce.they are fine guys.madonna sells magazine.thats why they doing that.madonnas spokerman said last week that the romours are false

  40. justtheobvoius

    Which one of the Olsen Twins is this? Fuck they are getting old.

  41. She seems to masculine for any man anymore! She must have entered menopause. Thats when annoying husbands become unbearable, annoying husbands. When it’s all over I can’t wait to see who the next temorary, lucky dude will be…Rosy O maybe?

  42. sicko

    Her arms literally haunt my boyfriends nightmares..

  43. Nudgie

    I can’t see why everyone is raining against Madonna! You have said:

    1. She overcame lack of talent with superior self-promotion.

    2. She fucked her way to the top

    3. She never met a Recording Engineer she couldn’t blow to add more reverb to her voice

    4. Uh – she adopted some African kid who feeds her other kids.

    OK – so all that is true. So What???



  44. ToTellTheTruth

    She looks like the Olson twins in “geriatric form”…

  45. Arguman

    Jimmy Stewart was resurrected as a divorce lawyer? He was good in Anatomy of a Murder and all, but really now.

  46. Arguman

    She also totally looks like Willem Dafoe in that first pic

  47. Kim Lardassian

    I almost feel a bit sorry about this, however then I realise the bitch might finally fuck off out of England, might finally STOP trying to speak in an English accent and will be GONE so now I am cheering.

  48. madonna's taint

    Oh yea, he looks happy

  49. Ishi-san

    @ 39: Yes, let it be Prince Charles!

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