Madonna has reportedly met with high-powered London divorce attorney Fiona Shackleton who recently represented Paul McCartney and was able to protect most of his assets from Heather Mills. In fact, Fiona was so effective she had water dumped over head in the courtroom by Paul’s ex. However, this doesn’t look to be a long drawn out legal battle since there is so much money at stake. Typically, these matters are resolved quickly. The Times of London reports:
James Stewart, a family partner with the leading London firm Manches, said: “These big money divorces are either terribly straightforward, because there is enough money to give those involved a fair share — more so than where there is not much money –or they go to court, because one side is either mean or greedy.
“But this is subject to departure, depending on factors such as the length of a marriage, how the matrimonial assets were created; the special or stellar contribution that either one of the couple, such as Madonna, may have made before the marriage.”
If given a choice between seeing Madonna’s face and arms again in court, Guy Ritchie will most likely settle for a small lump sum of change. And, if his lawyers are good enough, the secret amulet that returns Madonna to her grave. You know, in case she seeks revenge or wants to renegotiate the condo.
Angry Lawyer | June 26, 2008 at 2:15 pm
In the divorce settlement, she gets to keep his balls and has visitation rights with the strap-on. He gets back his career. Maybe.
Jimbo | June 26, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I’d love to feel her hard veiny fist and tough sinewy forearm all the way up my ass.
sportsdvl | June 26, 2008 at 2:16 pm
FRST!!!
bernie | June 26, 2008 at 2:16 pm
We will all remember where we were the day love died.
Be aggressive! | June 26, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Vogue!
Professor Henry Higgins | June 26, 2008 at 2:23 pm
She’s so deliciously low, so horribly dirty!
Women are irrational, that’s all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They’re nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!
veggi | June 26, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I hope she cleans him out. I’m sick and tired of seeing the guys make out like bandits on divorces, after they do absolutely nothing to contribute to the family.
sunshine | June 26, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Will she be granted the right to keep her fake Brittish accent?
Rome | June 26, 2008 at 2:29 pm
England, rejoice!
Let’s hope the hag moves her sinewy ass back to the US.
veggi | June 26, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Jimbo – you’re a sick fuck
greece | June 26, 2008 at 2:36 pm
she looks like the olsen twins here..
NY Ted | June 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Holy Crap Batman…what the hell has she been pumping into her arm veins?
Liquid Draino…!!!
bakinmycake | June 26, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Surprised she has not been linked to JT.
Do we have to take her back?
Can we have Boy George instead?
Frist!!! | June 26, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Really Jimbo get a life
Eric | June 26, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Supposedly because of all her workouts 1/8th of an inch is the largest diameter of any of her poops.
mamadough | June 26, 2008 at 2:45 pm
your british honour, don’t you think having sex with her was punishment enough? i rest my case.
mumra’s mother = heebee geebees, bah!
p0nk | June 26, 2008 at 2:50 pm
@11, damn good catch!
sameshitdifferentyear | June 26, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Forget the pansy courts, this should be decided by MMA match.
Of course my money’s on “madonna”, check out those fucking pipes and delts.
What do you think her testosterone / estrogen ratio is right now?
sportsdvl | June 26, 2008 at 2:55 pm
@18, shut the fuck up, who cares douche. Because thats a realistic scenerio, lets all guess her testosterone/estrogren ratio. Damn Troll.
hes hot | June 26, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I honestly don’t know how she got such a hot guy in the first place… she’s such a fug!!!
EuroNeckPain | June 26, 2008 at 2:58 pm
It’s time for a change. He is getting old. His hairline is receding, he’s got wrinkles and is not attractive any more.
EuroNeckPain | June 26, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Not to say that he’s ever been attractive in the first place.. In fact he is very average, she could do much better than that
sportsdvl | June 26, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Wow, now my trolls (#19) are yelling at my other trolls (#3) LOL.
Guy Ritchie might want some of Madonna’s fortune but I’m sure she made sure to keep it protected from him. usually it’s the woman who is a scumbag trying to get more money (Mrs. Bill Murray) but in this case it is Madonna keeping her $ from her ex-idiot.
aero | June 26, 2008 at 3:04 pm
ummmm, those are her nipples aren’t they, isn’t that usually marked NSFW?
sameshitdifferentyear | June 26, 2008 at 3:04 pm
#19 i’ve gotta say, i have no idea what your fucking point is sportsdvl, do you actually have a comment to make on the topic loser?
sameshitdifferentyear | June 26, 2008 at 3:11 pm
#23 sorry about the lashback (#25), there’s no simple registration at this fucking place so anyone can use any name they want!!
i should’ve known better than to respond to something (negative) directed towards me at this site…………
On Frist’s b’day (or whatever) we should all use her handle/name, the entire forum with all the same name posts for the entire day..
Vince Lombardi | June 26, 2008 at 3:12 pm
pic #3 is NSFW
Lola | June 26, 2008 at 3:19 pm
WOW…. she’s such a buff and handsome man… must be hard when you’re always being mistaken as the husband in a marriage Madonna…. cheer up tho love, now you have all the time in the world to brush up on your british accent…. PIP PIP CHEERIOS!!!!
sportsdvl | June 26, 2008 at 3:35 pm
#26 – thanks, I try to keep my negative comments to the useless semi-celebs shown on this site and to those losers who have no life and get excited about being the first to post.
Ted from LA | June 26, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I can’t tell, is this Mary Kate or Ashley?
toolboy | June 26, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Why is William Dafoe in drag again???
JimmyBachaFungool | June 26, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I guess she missed all that black and latino meat so the fair skinned Englishman is done. She is a skanky whore with mushrooms growing all over her privates.
eww | June 26, 2008 at 3:57 pm
@24 – They showed her face didn’t they? her nipples can’t be much worse than that.
TJ | June 26, 2008 at 4:00 pm
She’s so masculine looking that if I poled her up her hershey highway I’d feel like a homosexual.
Huh?
Albi, The Racist Dragon | June 26, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Good! Now maybe he can go back to making decent movies again. Does she get to keep the accent?
my comment | June 26, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Her dress is just so fuggin’ ugly.
jill | June 26, 2008 at 7:41 pm
MAN EATER
missywissy | June 26, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Show me a man who wants to play second fiddle to his wife and I’ll sell you some ocean front property in New Mexico. I don’t know any man that is at the shit end of the totem pole and that desires his wife. This may sound old fashioned, but it’s the cold hard truth.
sapphire eyes | June 26, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Maybe she could end up marrying one of the English princes.
Or … adopting them.
madgee | June 26, 2008 at 9:19 pm
she will not get divorce.they are fine guys.madonna sells magazine.thats why they doing that.madonnas spokerman said last week that the romours are false
justtheobvoius | June 26, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Which one of the Olsen Twins is this? Fuck they are getting old.
carolina | June 26, 2008 at 10:48 pm
She seems to masculine for any man anymore! She must have entered menopause. Thats when annoying husbands become unbearable, annoying husbands. When it’s all over I can’t wait to see who the next temorary, lucky dude will be…Rosy O maybe?
sicko | June 26, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Her arms literally haunt my boyfriends nightmares..
Nudgie | June 26, 2008 at 11:45 pm
I can’t see why everyone is raining against Madonna! You have said:
1. She overcame lack of talent with superior self-promotion.
2. She fucked her way to the top
3. She never met a Recording Engineer she couldn’t blow to add more reverb to her voice
4. Uh – she adopted some African kid who feeds her other kids.
OK – so all that is true. So What???
Wait.
Nevermind….
ToTellTheTruth | June 27, 2008 at 12:34 am
She looks like the Olson twins in “geriatric form”…
Arguman | June 27, 2008 at 3:43 am
Jimmy Stewart was resurrected as a divorce lawyer? He was good in Anatomy of a Murder and all, but really now.
Arguman | June 27, 2008 at 3:45 am
She also totally looks like Willem Dafoe in that first pic
Kim Lardassian | June 27, 2008 at 5:29 am
I almost feel a bit sorry about this, however then I realise the bitch might finally fuck off out of England, might finally STOP trying to speak in an English accent and will be GONE so now I am cheering.
madonna's taint | June 27, 2008 at 6:48 am
Oh yea, he looks happy
Ishi-san | June 27, 2008 at 10:08 am
@ 39: Yes, let it be Prince Charles!