Madonna makes Joan Crawford look like a pussy
Madonna has told Newsweek that she’s the disciplinarian with her two children, 9-year-old Lourdes and 5-year-old Rocco. They’re not allowed to have milk or ice cream, or to watch TV or read magazines because mommy has no tolerance for lactose or self-awareness.
She’s also strict about laundry duties: If Lourdes leaves dirty clothes on the floor, “we take all of her clothes and put them in a bag, and she has to earn all of her clothes back by being tidy,” Madonna said. “She wears the same outfit every day to school until she learns her lesson.”
Somebody needs to tell Madonna that the “mystical Jewish” child-rearing book she got at the Kabbalah Center was just a red string tied around the screenplay for Mommy Dearest. I’d do it except, you know, I’m afraid of getting me eyes gouged out with a coat hanger.
But speaking of dead screen legends, here’s Madonna looking like Madeline Kahn if Madeline Kahn were alive and a hooker. And also a raisin.