Madonna launches ‘Sticky & Sweet’ tour, I now hate my eyes

August 24th, 2008 // 171 Comments

Here are shots of Madonna in England from the Saturday night launch of her Sticky & Sweet Tour. After seeing these photos of the “mummy’s tomb” encased in fishnets, I’d rather call my parents and ask them to describe the day I was conceived than buy Madonna tickets. If I’m going to acquire chronic night terrors, I shouldn’t have to pay for it. At least not with today’s gas prices.

superficial

  1. JIMBO

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. c

    What the hell happened to her?!

  3. John

    Just the site of Madonna playing the guitar is laughable!

  4. Leila

    *Pukes* . How is that reinventing herself exactly?, she’s the same, just more pathetic.

  5. John

    #4 and she’s scarier!

  6. I’ll tell you different: I TRULY HATE MADONNA!!

  7. Angry Beaver

    Oh God, I just threw up in my mouth.

  8. Plastic Sturgeon

    Two words Madonna cannot comprehend: age gracefully.

  9. Lola

    Ok you old hag… We all get it… You like your legs open and inserting things into it… I mean kudos for not looking like a 50 year old. But I’d rather look like a 50 year old anyday than looking like the crypt keeper… Fucking gross… Ugly whore

  10. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    Too think I used to beat off to this womans “Like a virgin” video. Now, looking at these photos, my crank shriveled up inside me in terror.

    I used to date a girl who wanted me to call her Madonna when we had sex. Of course that was over 20 years ago. She was pretty good in the sack though.

  11. I know a guy who used to brag that he’d had sex with Madonna. Bet he’s issuing retractions today.

  12. havoc

    Not bad.

    Except for the visible arteries…..

    .

  13. sarahlicious

    *gag* I’m traumatized now… Thanks people…

  14. JJ

    She looks like a guy in drag- she has no hips. Do I see an Adam’s Apple too??

  15. Jamie's Uterus

    The funny thing is, she thinks she is still relevant and influential!! She’s a delusional tired ass worn out skanked up whore. Go away!

  16. blah

    Close your legs granny!!!

  17. rough daddy

    its old age cripping up on her,,,shes in good shape,,,imagine that same pilate body on an 18 year old…

  18. suzeeee

    hmmm I am old and I am sayin yuck. Muscles and not an ounce of fat over them equal gross. Could she spread her legs any wider or does she need to air out her crotch? gee.

  19. CJ

    She’s doing the only thing she knows how to do and like all those who inch toward retirement she sees millions coming right behind who can do it better. She’s become what she was determined to put out to pasture when she was 20. She needs to move behind the curtain and direct.

  20. Chauncey Gardner

    JESUS FUCK!!!

  21. Savalas

    Not bad!

    Except for the elderliness…

  22. Richard McBeef

    This is proof there is no god. He would have struck that nasty abomination down long ago.

  23. R

    Look at those triangle-shape holes at her thighs! Ouch!

  24. West door

    @#7 Me too!
    What the f is that vein / muscle by her crotch?
    My stomach is pissed at me now! :X

  25. dude

    proof that the occult just eats up people and spits them out into granny shaped blobs of spew

  26. how about renaming it ‘sweaty and nasty’ tour?

  27. Racer X

    FAIL.

  28. g

    Just another old Italian broad now…..

  29. britney's weave

    mmmm… frog legs.

    those veins by her crotch in pic one are photoshopped i think.

  30. mugdonna

    The nastiest most unsexy “thing” I have ever seen

  31. Deacon Jones

    Hmmm, shit I think I’d actually hit it man. Nice legs, fuck it

  32. Sport

    Skank. With a bitchy personality to match. Go away man-hands.

  33. Dumdidum

    motherfucker! That is unnatural!
    To have leg muscle like that you have to be on steroids.

  34. Zim

    Was at Target a few months ago and the guys in the TV area were commenting on the ‘Hard Candy’ promo they kept running on the tv’s – the guys goes:: ‘Look it’s the crypt keeper again’. So… these were teenage Target folks and even they know something is wrong.

  35. missywissy

    Thank you people! Usually there’s one idiot that will defend and say “you all are just jealous”. I think we’re all in agreement on this one. What is this chick trying to prove anyway?

  36. JimmyBachaFungool

    I look at her and all I smell is tuna fish. She is disgusting. She looks horrible and the thought of the mushrooms growing on and in her vagina makes my dick inverted.

  37. I think it’s time for her to retire into obscurity already.

    She’s starting to look REAL ridiculous, as opposed to before when she was just plain ridiculous.

    She looks like an old bag trying to look young. But she doesn’t. She looks older than 50.

    The 1980′s were terribly lean years for music.

  38. dogonabone

    visible femoral arteries don’t make you look younger.

  39. zitcher

    What in the Queen’s cunt happend to her? YIKES!

  40. tara

    Madonna is a great artist. I always enjoy her performance very much. You guys should be aware of that Richromances.com has her profile out. Seems she is certified member of that site.

  41. Tumbleddice

    Only in the interest of accuracy it wasn’t in England, it was Cardiff, Wales.

  42. Vince Lombardi

    Couple of things are pretty apparent when you study the photos:

    First, she’s a demon in the gym – I’ll give her credit where credit is due. She’s got her body fat below 5% and she’s got definition most of us only dream of. At 50, that’s pretty impressive.

    Second, she hates her abs (too many kids) so she “veils” herself in every shot. She even makes her backup dancers use body suits to cover theirs so hers don’t stand out as less than adequate.

    Third, I attribute the face to hard living. IIRC, she’s a smoker and that will put a decade on your face. She didn’t take care of her face and skin as she aged – she was too busy feeding that libido we all read about – so now she’s got a 30 y.o body and a 60 y.o. face. Which, as everyone has pointed out, is pretty damn disgusting.

    All of this suggests she’s OCD – she can’t stay out the gym, she can’t stay out of the public eye. Her music and her sexual aggression musically and otherwise has passed us by and she can’t handle not being part of the scene.

    Picture this: In the 80s, she was today’s Britney Spears, who is just as big a whack job. She sold sex and had others write her most popular songs, fueling her belief she actually had talent. She got married to another whack job (Penn) just like Britney. She was just able to mask her meltdown by selling it as sex. but for those of you who were alive back then, she was acting just as outrageous for attention – bad music, bad behavior. Brit ran to Taco Bell instead.

  43. crabby old guy

    Okay, Madonna circa 1985 – pokable. But that was 23 freaking years ago!

    If she was a guy, she’d be the old fart with the nasty comb-over and wearing lost of gold chains and a Speedo thinkin’ that the young chicks were digging him.

    If she wasn’t such a useless turd, I’d feel sorry for her. She’s like Gloria Sawnson’s pathetic charactor in “Sunset Blvd.” Icky.

  44. norton

    Her shtick was played out thoroughly years ago.

    She should be embarassed.

  45. I think Madonna needs a donut. Maybe we should all chip in and send her some krispy kremes.

  46. Julia

    The concert was not in England it was in Wales. Wales is an entirely different country, why is that so hard to comprehend, this is one of many times i’ve seen Wales referred to as part of England. The opening concert was in Cardiff, which is the capital city of Wales!

  47. THE ONE WHO KNOWS

    I’d like to see what your fat asses are going to look like when your 50. All you do is bitch about women being fat. Now one that is in great shape is doing a show most of you can’t even do one song in, is doing show after show. All you can do is rag rag rag. I’ll bet her body fat count is as healthy as it should be. Get off your ass and work out and you’ll have great lines too.

  48. Moe

    holy shit.

    heinous…it’s like her thighs are the scenic route to the gates of hell…. HER VAGINA

  49. WhatThe?

    I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I’m…….. 50!

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