Madonna & Jesus: Together again for the very first time

April 27th, 2009 // 46 Comments

Thanks to a fortuitous flight off the back of a horse, Madonna and Jesus Luz have rekindled their love affair. Her friends in the fashion world are even working overtime to keep him in the US, according to Page Six:

Marc Jacobs “wrote a letter of support for Jesus’ work permit” to allow him to stay in the country, said our source. “Marc campaigned for Jesus, saying he is highly talented and a necessity to the label.” Last week, Women’s Wear Daily reported Dolce & Gabbana’s fall-winter menswear campaign will feature Luz. Our tipster said, “All these fashion lines are hiring Jesus as a favor to Madonna. As long as he can legally work in the US, they can be together.”

Of course, this should come to no surprise as no one based on Madonna’s longstanding relationship with the fashion world:

“Either find me young models to feast on their youth, or I’ll wear your clothes upon my frame – in public! Muahahaha!” – Written in blood at Dolce & Gabbana headquarters.

Photos: WENN

  1. smarg


  2. lewbie

    swine flu then this.

  3. smarg


  4. #1 Fuck yeah, I’m on it!!

  5. Jenny Luv

    smarg – April 27, 2009 12:57 PM


    ANYTIME sweetheart

    madonna, 30 years younger jesus and back child

    such a f*cked up image, lord

  6. spine flu

    ewww Mexicans….

  7. Jim Lahey

    “Marc campaigned for Jesus, saying he is highly talented and a necessity to the label.”

    Highly talented?
    What does he actually do that requires talent? Does he juggle?

    Everyone after me has bent over and shoved objects in smarg’s moms behind.

  8. Zanna

    Madonna & Jesus. Nice Oedipal reference.

  9. Barney Frank

    See what open borders brings us. First Swine Flu and now Jesus. Two great products from our lazy amigo’s south of the border!

  10. Abdul-Ahad

    Funniest story this year:

    “April 27, 2009: A photo shoot involving a 747 used as Air Force One and two fighter jets flying at low altitude led to hundreds of frightened calls from residents and workers in Lower Manhattan this morning, triggering memories of 9-11 as many evacuated their offices.”


    Once again running like terrified little rats!


  11. rebekahh

    Who cares!!!! Give us something meaty fish!

  12. justifiable, if you’re still there, I responded to your murder-suicide pact. Ithink my plan is perfect.

  13. JoeyJoJo

    Hey, I didn’t know Madonna was dating Gilligan! Great news for all you skinny-ass, beatnic-loser wannabes….

  14. Marie

    he isn’t Mexican you idiot!

  15. JANE


  16. Overheard in Hay-suess’s brain: Deeth beech betted not bee lyjing… Ay don like feesh… gib me more peenith…

  17. That was terribly stereotypical and racist, Rich. So why am I laughing??

  18. Iamsurprised you know who BarneyFrank is

    Other great imports from South America are Most of Victoria’s Secret Models because Americans are too fat and ugly to model for themselves (one of the few exceptions is Marissa Miller).

    Barney Frank is a douche

  19. worried

    They should never allow Madonna to adopt a male child .Who knows what she uses them for? Age means nothing to her when it comes to satifsying her voracious sexual appeitite.

  20. Swine Flu

    @15- I’ll get her if the cancer don’t get her first.

  21. Nero

    So i understand that another USA job is lost to a foreigner?

  22. Rhialto

    You can say anything about me but i created jobs in the USA.

  23. Butch Decossas

    Anything that makes Madonna happy, makes me happy. That is of course assuming that being strapped to a rocket and blasted into the cold vacuum of space makes her happy.

  24. Darth

    Not only another USA job is lost but another USA orphan kid’s life isn’t saved as well.

  25. #17 – Really? I thought it was more like “gay-cist”…

  26. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Instead of sending me a cheque she’d rather help some unknown foreigner!? While she knows me much longer!

  27. Still White on the Outside

    Ah, Rich.

    So it’s ok to hate Gays/meximelts but you LOOOOVEE african americans. You fucking hypocrite.

    God you’re stupid.

  28. “Work Permit” working on madonna’s meat tunnel is work? how insulting…

  29. Right Fury

    If there is a god, these two will get swine flu.

  30. Ahhhh… Still White. I don’t hate anyone, not even clueless morons like you. You see, there’s a HUGE difference between making a comment that isn’t PC versus the retarded hate you and your band of boneheads spew. No one cares about the occassional comment that borders on racist, but the gist of all of yours are neathderthal like at best. And why the hell would you call God stupid? Imaginary? Fine… but stupid? Dude, you swing in all directions and never hit a damn thing.

    And “Ah, Rich” is exactly what I picture your mom saying to my nuts…

  31. person

    he is so hot, even for a person who has his job. laura croft is nothing.

  32. ……….HE GOT PAID, folks?

  33. Gando

    I don’t know why he’s wearing that Sherlock Holmes hat.Any British accent available?

  34. DiMi

    Little David is so adorable with his huge eyes.

    But this Jesus kid is just using Madonna. This is just insane and inappropriate for her to have him around her kids.

  35. She’s old enough to be his mum, she’s named Madonna and he’s named Jesus, how incestuous is that?

  36. g_girl

    Now thats how you get hired…

  37. ok

    Dating with rich people, find my love. My name have been true on the hottest dating place…mil lio nai e ch…I found his profile there, he is very hot and attractive there.

  38. Still White on the Outside

    You’re a clown rich. a clown here to amuse everyone. In your narrow little left winged mind you think that all conservatives have to be religious wackos.

    So let me get this straight, It’s ok if you’re an independent (democrat) and make occasional racist jokes, but for a conservative it makes me the KKK.

    Your logic is staggering. These people your making fun of, helped elect your emperor. Why don’t you just go back to kissing their hairy beanbags.

  39. #38 – Meh… I give that a 1 out 10. And that 1 point is for grammar and spelling. Good job!

  40. who blaims Madonna for trying to keep him in the country..? Hell I know i’d do the same yum yum

  41. who blaims Madonna for trying to keep him in the country..? Hell I know i’d do the same yum yum

  42. who blaims Madonna for trying to keep him in the country..? Hell I know i’d do the same yum yum

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