Madonna is the richest singer in the universe

September 29th, 2006 // 73 Comments

Madonna has topped Britney Spears as the highest paid female singer in the 2007 Guinness Book of Records, taking in $50 million in 2004 to beat out Britney Spears, who held the record since 2001 after earning more than $38 million in 2000.

Elsewhere in the book: Nicole Kidman set the record for the highest salary per minute for an actor (a reported $3.71 million for a four-minute commercial for Chanel No. 5) and Oprah Winfrey is named the highest-paid person on TV ($225 million, according to the last Forbes power ranking). American Idol star Simon Cowell is the highest paid TV talent-show judge (about $34 million), while Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has the highest annual earnings for a children’s author, with an estimated $64 million.

$50 million a year and the best look Madonna can come up with is looking like she’s on her way to a NASCAR race. If I made $50 million a year I’d be walking around in a solid gold suit with $100 bills glued to it. They don’t call me Classy McRich for nothing.


  1. I’m sure she has the biggest pussy in America also……………

  2. good one stallion.. you took the words right outta my mouth..
    she also has about the fugliest hands on earth and underneath all her clothes she’s just a wrinkled old lady with lots and lots of saggage and scarrage..

  3. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    At least she has a husband who does more than glom off of her. ;-) Could be why she still has some money. I wonder if she spent $100,000 making a nursery for her kids?

    Those hands…I think that comes from being so thin, and the exercising, really. My sis is a size four, rides her exercise bike about 500 miles a day, and her hands are just like that. Frankly, I have better things to do, like, you know, make a living, and read The Superficial.

    I don’t mind she has money–what I mind is her holier-than-thou attitude about morality now that she’s gone all religious. So typical. And boring.

  4. Money can’t buy class, just ask Britney and Kevin…

  5. Damn you Stallion, nothing I could say would even remotely top that. Funny fucker!

  6. krisdylee

    Madge is 6 years younger than my Mom. And I’m 35. (Yes, I was the result of a teen pregnancy, shut the fuck up about it.)

    So put that in your Kabbalah pipe and smoke it Madoona.

  7. krisdylee

    Madoona. That’s funny.

  8. If I had that kind of money I would hire somebody to carry all my shit for me. What gives Madge? Get a fucking purse, or by a Treo.

    PS – My Grandpa called, he said he wants his hat back.

  9. Stallion, you said it.
    Shut this thread down.
    No more posts.

    What’s up Angry “Ode to Ramen Noodles” Ferret?

  10. Her age is are really starting to show. Although she can afford to have the wrinkles removed anytime.

  11. RichPort

    Speaking of big pussies… She looks like she raided Big Pussy’s wardrobe with that Rock Steady Crew like track suit. All of you assholes who bought her concert tickets should be forced to prune her bushes with your teeth. And of course by bushes, I mean back up dancers.

  12. Ruby

    Wrinkly ol’ gramma hands. Apparently, she doesn’t use Palmolive. Madge, yer soaking in it…

  13. Your date with Lucifer is looming, Madge. Soon your Faustian bargain will demand the payment of your soul. For all eternity you will be forced to listen to your musical travesties while being turned out as Hell’s greatest whore, servicing the legions of the damned in the most vile and repulsive ways. And good one converting to Kaballah, a Jew mystery religion. There are a lot of Germans in Hell, my dear, so much so that the demons have acquired something of a taste for saurbraten. I’m sure they will appreciate your red string and $100.00 bottle of cancer-curing water. And Oprah – there’s a lovely canyon crevice with a gorgeous view of the river Styx. It has your fat ass all over it. Hitler may have birthed the Holocaust, Stalin had his Purge, but you have given us Dr. Phil and Rachel Ray on top of your own horror show. Burn in hell, you mocha bitch.

  14. mirandawilde

    She deserves it. She’s a goddess.

  15. Everytime Unwashed makes a post I start to wonder if I am angry enough. I mean, that is some seriously deeeeep anger there. It’s beautiful, like a delicate butterfly on a flower.

    What up Brain? How’s your hammer hanging?

  16. Populist

    Surprising that dessicated ego on a stick isn’t walking around in a robe and crown of thorns. Being the heroine of so many gay men and aging female fans has given her a real messiah complex. The track suit is an improvement over the purple granny hooker outfit she’s worn in the past, though.

  17. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    Ferret, anger is like food–sometimes it’s sour, sometimes there’s a hint of sweetness to it. Anger, like food, comes in all varieties and all flavors. Your anger may have a slightly different tang, but is no less potent than the anger of UnwashedMasses. I find both satisfying and highly tasty. Especially when your mighty angers are directed at Paris Hilton or Madonna.

  18. I had a picture in my cell phone from one of the time I met Madonna and said huge pussy!!!!!

    Click the link………..

  19. RichPort

    That “You are not authorized to view this page” page, looks nothing like a huge pussy. Thanks for getting me all worked up for nothing…

  20. It was huge after I got done with it!!!!!

  21. they failed to mention that her vagina only made a paltry $18 million last year…twenty dollars at a time. since she’s getting on in years, she’s thinking of retiring her vagina and restoring it to the spledor of it’s 80′s heyday and giving paid tours…her own ‘graceland’ of sorts. Mammoth Cave, indeed.

  22. how many canaries have to die?

  23. radio3play

    wow, 23 posts and jzrmommy hasn’t posted yet…what’s the world coming to?

  24. pinky_nip

    I don’t know how she can walk down the street without seagulls trying to dive bomb her pussy.

  25. Bad_kitty_cat

    Hey! Isn’t this bitch supposed to drink only Kabbala water? That is a Volvic water bottle!!! Shame on you Vadge shame!!

  26. Pagan Queen

    EWWWWWWWWWWW Stallion, that was hideous! Trying to get back at me for the Babs S no bra post? No more clicking your links, babe!

    RichPort – try again, it will come through.

    I remember when Madge was cool and cutting edge – then she just went whack and kept on going.

  27. siren823

    You know how Madonna earns more money that Britney? She works. She puts out albums, tours, does stuff that might bring money in instead of sending potential buyers screaming and CPS out to her house. And Madonna has a husband who has a little bit of earning potential (yes, his movies haven’t been doing as well but he has some talent) and isn’t a giant, money sucking vortex of loserness.

  28. I’m Rich, B*tch! (honk, honk) he,he,he…

  29. ValeWolf

    Hey at least she wasn’t the most succesful shildren’s book author!

    And at least that money ain’t going to K-dick.

  30. 86

    Is she carrying Madonna Kabbalah water?

  31. jrzmommy

    wow 24 posts to get to the asshole center of the tootsie pop!

    So Madonna makes $50 million a year and she can’t afford a backpack or something to carry her shit around in?

  32. ValeWolf

    I meant children… fucking madonna she makes me stupid.

  33. cavanaugh

    doesn’t look like her

  34. radio3play

    woah jzrmommy, you are so funny. can you teach me some tricks?

  35. radio3play

    woah jzrmommy, you are so funny. can you teach me some tricks?

  36. jrzmommy

    36 (and 35)–okay. First trick: how to hit POST YOUR COMMENT just once.

  37. serial snarkalec

    Is she carrying fucking weightlifter gloves? If so, the size of them proves it — Madge is officially a Maury.

  38. RichPort

    #21 – “Gee you have a big pussy, gee you have a big pussy”

  39. radio3play

    thank you oh great one. is there more?

  40. radio3play

    it worked. =]

  41. Tracie

    How cool is it that so many major earners are older women? Madge, Nicole Kidman, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, Simon Cowell…
    It’s a wonderful thing!

  42. On her way to another mock crucifixion?

  43. jrzmommy

    40–yes, grasshopper, this one involves a hunting rifle, your mouth and your big toe….

  44. DancingQueen

    I absolutely hate this bitch. When will she shrivel up and die already?

  45. radio3play

    #44, are you always this bitchy? lighten up a tad bit. it might do jzr some good.

  46. While Madonna has always seems narcissistic to me, I admire what she has done. She has stayed on top of her game for a long time, and while she can’t act she still convinces people to let her star in movies. I like her shear determination. Strong women rock!

  47. RichPort

    Her stylist deserves a raise. I mean, matching her weight gloves and water bottle cap to the stripes on her sweatsuit… who does that? Blue sunglasses would have completed the look, but I guess even Madge the-used-tampon-string-on-the-wrist-wannabe Jew isn’t perfect.

  48. jrzmommy

    I prefer Shrew or Shrew-like. Hey, I’m all about keeping it light, espesh on a Friday.

    I’m ashamed to share the same birthday with Madonna, or Esther, or Egolia.

  49. radio3play

    shrew’s are ugly. i bet you are hot.

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