Madonna is the new shriveled-up, white Oprah

November 24th, 2008 // 35 Comments

Pulling a page directly out of Oprah’s book then Xeroxing it, Madonna wants to build a girls school in Malawi, Africa. She recently announced her intentions on the website of her non-profit organization Raising Malawi. FOX News reports:

Of course, Oprah’s school is not connected to any kind of religious cult. Raising Malawi is an off shoot of the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles, run by former insurance salesman Philip Berg and his family.
There’s no word yet on whether the Madonna Academy students will have to wear $26 red strings on their wrists or drink bottled Kabbalah water. But pictures this weekend of Madonna carrying her adopted Malawi son, David Banda, into the Kabbalah center, pretty much says it all.

Yes, I’m sure the students at Madonna’s school will love those special visits from their Material Girl headmistress. Or as they’ll come to be known “Hide Under Your Desk the Pale Bride of Satan is Here to Feed Again Day.” Ha ha, kids.

Photos: WENN

  1. That sounds like a good idea…

  2. Mel

    She’s such a douche

  3. PoohEater

    What is the opposite of an erection? Because that’s what I have right now.

  4. Chauncey Gardner

    I’m amazed at all these business-savvy-yet-bat-shit-crazy stars who manage to get dressed in the morning despite their ludicrous beliefs. Then again, Kabbalah really isn’t any crazier than Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Scientology, and all the other stupid shit people believe in.

  5. verga

    madonna is the biggest cunt in the world. i can’t wait until she’s dead and i don’t have to hear about her bullshit any more.

  6. so2315

    In picture #3, her skin resembles the skin of a freshly embalmed corpse I have seen at Mortuary School! Her pores are huge, and her skin looks leathery.
    Also check out the big fat fuck of an Englishman trying to look tough behind her. Did he miss his tea???

  7. plastic

    her ears are sitting too far back. Are they gravitating to the back of her head? Her chin looks ridiculously proportioned to her face as well. She’s looking crease-free, but still freakish.

  8. Fleur

    It’s ridiculous people would CRITICIZE Maddona over this! I don’t care what her motivation is, many, many little girls would receive an education and an opportunity to better themselves through the building of this school. I’m not Jewish but I would have no problem with my child receiving an education that emphasizes spirituality in its curriculum. It’s nice to see the “material girl” giving something back and using her wealth and influence to help others. The cynics will probably disagree but I think that this must be a cause very dear to her heart and she truly is doing this for the right reasons.

  9. Savalas

    What happens to the school and the kids when the album flops and the tour is over?

  10. justifiable

    #8 No, it’s not. ridiculous Cramming your beliefs down a poor country’s throats by attaching them to a charitable act is pretty heinous, no matter who does it – another country, religious leader or spoilt aging rock star. If Malawi says yes to the center but no to the kaballah, whaddaya wanna bet she refuses? Nothing like claiming you want to help people while maintaining complete and total control of their lives.

    P.S. Learn to spell, wouldja? Her name’s in the title, how hard can it be?

  11. Savalas

    What happens to the school and the kids when the album flops and the tour is over?

  12. dragon43078

    Isn’t she an American? Shouldn’t she care about the girls here first? What a dumb bitch. Helping out foreigners whos government will eventually sieze the supplies and money for themselves.
    They just want their names on something. How about the “Used to be Good Ages Ago” clinic.

  13. bb

    u guys are so ridiculous.she cares about africa cause they need.u amarican fuckin people are too rich.ur fuckin president spent ur money the way he wants.madonna is helping people that really need.thres no school or hospital in some places in africa.madonna is a decent woman and she really looks good,look at her live on stage she is really cute girl and she has an amazing body.she is 50 and she looks better than a lot of young girls

  14. billy

    yes she is pretty good.she did an excelent job in helping people in need.she has a lot of money and she is building an hospital too,.she is helping.that woman works a lot and helps a lot.all the young people should learn from her.ecvery young star wants to be like madonna bla bla but they should do this kind of things too.madonna u lok very relax,u are pretty this pictures are bad cause of the flashes.too many.she is a special one.she really hot believe me cause i see and ui get an ereption.

  15. BISIDE

    i think she is doing great.hanging up with her kids.she is been amazing.she is sad abaout her personnal life but she said she is so happy to have a career like she got and be able to perform for millions of people.1 miilion saw her in record.MADONNA IS ALWAYS BREAKING SOME RECORDS.THATS WHY SHE IS SO AMAZING. AND SHE LOOKS SO STUNNING FOR 50.THIS PICTURES ARE NOT SO GOOD BUT I WENT TO HER SHOW AND I TOOK SOME PICTURES OF HER AND SHE HAS SOME PERFECT BODY DAMN

  16. brrit


  17. clau

    real man like womans like her.she is a sex bomb.guy ritchie said so.look at her in her video 4 minutes and give it 2 me.damn,so hotttttt crazy about her sexualaty.justin said she is too sexual and he was very excited cause she looks really good

  18. bow wow

    i saw her in central park this weekend .she was happy and she really looks awesome.she is not like that in those pictures.this pictures has no quality .

  19. Pathetic Worm

    I think she’s beautiful!!!

    Oprah, I mean. The FAT Oprah. Madge looks to be in need of a better mortician.

  20. ummm...yeah

    Let’s talk about Oprahs’ school shall we?
    You mean the school where all the little african girls got raped and tortured by the staff? That school?
    The school where the girls were used as sex slaves?
    Ok…yes …why not let another asshole celebrity open up another whorehouse in an underdeveloped country and exploit the children , then as soon as the fuckin tour is over…forget about them…or fuck em.

  21. dragon43078

    We are too rich? What moron thinks that? I work 40 to 50 hour a week. I gross 35K a year. Thats rich? You are a fucking moron who has no idea how most of the country lives. And then to see this rich ass bitch send money overseas to stick her nose into other governments business is appaling. If she truely wants to help, donate money in her home town to build and staff a hospital wing that she can stick her name on.

  22. Sport

    #5 NAILED IT on the head, no sense in even adding anything.

  23. Dumb Blonde with Monstrous Camel Toe

    Can someone please inform this knocked-up nigra lover what the fucking Kabbalah is essentially?

  24. She really blew it with that last bout of plastic surgery. She looks horrible (but I still think she’s an amazing person).

  25. Alex

    She beat Palin to the punch.


    Madonna is in competition with Angelina to see which of them can amass the biggest collection of stupid, smelly, greasy, shitskinned, little niglets for her monkey-house.

  27. Alex

    She beat Palin to the punch.

  28. bootlips

    I can’t wait until the tar baby rapes Lourdes and murders Madonna.

  29. piedopiper

    I’d hit it.

    Not sure about the old lady though.

  30. yelloe

    I think online dating is really nice. I meet many nice people at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^^^^^. You can find your soul mate at this site. You have many chances to date with a millionaire there.

  31. Kat

    Good for Madonna. It’s not like she can’t afford it. And I really think she’s looking tons better since the divorce- like her old self. Her skin looks amazing; no one has the same look as M.

  32. bootlips

    I like to wear my nigger accessories to the Opera. It makes me feel important.

  33. Barry O

    Her new “school” will be an animal control live trap. Or a gingerbread house. They’d better start lo-jacking their kids, cuz Mad Crabs is about to go on a shopping spree.

  34. This FILTHY FAKER needs attention again, folks?

  35. Narcissist

    So would Kabbalah be the new Scientology or the old Scientology?

    @31 “no one has the same look as M”…because they’re trying to avoid it.

Leave A Comment