Madonna is confused

November 6th, 2006 // 57 Comments

Madonna says she believes in Jesus even though she’s a member of the Kabbalah Center (which studies Jewish mysticism), celebrates Jewish holidays, and has even taken on the name Esther for Judaism.

Saying that her adopted son, David, can be Christian and follow Kabbalah as well, Madonna told the BBC, “I believe in Jesus and I study Kabbalah, so I don’t see why he can’t too.”

But Kabbalah watcher Rick Ross says that the group’s leaders are wrong if they tell people that they can have it both ways. “It’s historically and practically impossible for a person to be two religions simultaneously,” Rick Ross of Cultnews.com tells The Scoop. “But perhaps Madonna thinks that along with her many other accomplishments, this is possible.”

Let’s not get into a religious debate here. Let’s just agree that Madonna is completely wrong in everything she ever says or does. She could save a bus filled with disabled children and because Madonna did it they’d all turn out to be horrible serial murderers.

superficial

  1. krisdylee

    What a cunt.

  2. mmbelle

    are you serious?

  3. as a Black Panther and card-carrying Ku Klux Klan member, I applaud her.

  4. whatever the religion,that is one lucky kid.

  5. tomcruise

    i see nothing wrong with trying to have it both ways

  6. 1) madonna is not hot (nor was she ever)
    2) her music sucks (it always has)
    3) purple monkey dishwasher

    cartoon undies for men and women –> http://funderpants.com

  7. bsa

    If she can believe she’s British, she
    can certainly simultaneously believe the
    Messiah has come and hasn’t come.

  8. But isn’t Kabbalah a branch of Judaism? Isn’t that why she visited Israel? You can’t be a Jew and Christian at the same time.Can you?

  9. mrs.t

    After his statement on religion, Kabbalah watcher Rick Ross issued another statement declaring himself Master of the Obvious.

  10. gumby

    it’s probably easier than being both a jew and a muslim

  11. PapaHotNuts

    I’m a man and a lesbian.

  12. gosh

    Hi all,
    superficial posting virgin…..its 3am here, but couldn’t help myself..madonna is really irritating….

  13. RichPort

    I married a white woman and still mug white women in dark alleys. See, being a parodox is possible, and fun! Wait, did I say mug..? I of course meant date, yea that’s it, date. And by dark alleys I mean 5 star hotels… yea, that’s it.

    Madonna tried telling Papa not to preach, all while driving her limo around LES in Manhattan picking up teenage boys… a paradox indeed.

  14. Madrid Marriott

    You’re telling me Jews for Jesus aren’t legit???

  15. gosh

    what i’m worried about is the fact that she may, at any moment, start thinking that the cute little doe-eyed toddler she’s holding is in fact a big ball of kabbalah red yarn. Then she’ll try and make a red strings out of him……psycho bitch.

    that’s all im sayin…goin to bed (with the hope that i dont wake up in a wet puddle after horrid madonna nightmares)

  16. KimberWolf

    I don’t think that when trying to “be like Christ” that he meant hanging on a cross in the middle of your own rock concert.

  17. Italian Stallion

    It’s bad enough he has to grow up black, now she wants him to be a Jew too. I see rough times in this kid’s future…….

  18. Italian Stallion

    Madonnas should change her name to Mrs Drummond!!!

  19. PapaHotNuts

    @17- A black Jew.

    He’s just going to end up being rich, then robbing himself for crack money.

  20. Okay then, somebody shot her with an elephant gun and that will rid the world of at least one confused, worthless scumbag!

  21. KristinMichelle

    I think I have read that Madonna’s interpretation of Kabbalah is a complete molestation of the practice because it was traditionally only followed by Jewish clerics who were men. If she wants to add Jesus in there too, I doubt anyone is going to tell her no. She is a waste of Botox.

  22. @11 – PapaHotNuts, you sir, are a hermaphrodite.

    #12 – You should have picked a better name then “gosh”.

  23. RichPort

    For the what she charges for tickets, they should choose at least one person from the front row to actually nail her to the cross, you know like a raffle. That’ll be worth the price of admission.

  24. D'oh Eyes

    Madonna looks like a man, baby.

  25. PapaHotNuts

    @22- No- I’m just a guy who likes pussy. You should try it.

  26. Saying you believe in Jesus and that you believe he is your savoir are two different things. Jews believe in Jesus, they don’t believe he is the son of God.

    If you are a more spiritual person, as Madonna appears to be, then taking parts of religion isn’t that hard to swallow.

    What is hard to swallow are the black and white thinking people who think it has to be their way or no way.

    It is also hard to swallow crackers when you have a dry mouth. I am not sure which is harder, but they both are hard to take.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  27. mrs.t

    Wasn’t Sammy Davis, Jr. a black Jew? Kind of a moot point; if you’re as smooth as Sammy, you could be any number of dichotomous creatures. You could even be smart and Republican.

  28. PrettyBaby

    #13 Richport, you are so funny that I might consider letting you lick me someday…

  29. NipsyHustle

    if ugly were bricks, madonna would have her own strip mall.

  30. biatcho

    They just don’t make Jews like Jesus anymore…

  31. 86

    I thought Rick Ross was the spokesperson for Hustla Music. I though his Chevy was ridin’ high.

  32. Is Madonna confused or are we as a society? Nah, probably Madonna.

    http://www.celebslam.com

  33. jFp

    you should see what the british mtv people did on madonna….here are pics of the event.
    http://showbiz.sky.com/showbiz/picture_gallery/0,,50001-1239554-1,00.html

  34. Raebees

    Ok here’s the truth… You CAN be a Jew and believe in Jesus at the same time. Meaning you can believe that he DID exist one day, NOT that you believe he is the messiah and died for the sin of the world and all that jazz. Jews believe that Jesus was a man, a good teacher and prophet but they do not believe that he was the Messiah (the one sent to save us all)… They think that guy is still coming.

  35. Raebees

    Ok here’s the truth… You CAN be a Jew and believe in Jesus at the same time. Meaning you can believe that he DID exist one day, NOT that you believe he is the messiah and died for the sin of the world and all that jazz. Jews believe that Jesus was a man, a good teacher and prophet but they do not believe that he was the Messiah (the one sent to save us all)… They think that guy is still coming.

  36. Raebees

    Ok here’s the truth… You CAN be a Jew and believe in Jesus at the same time. Meaning you can believe that he DID exist one day, NOT that you believe he is the messiah and died for the sin of the world and all that jazz. Jews believe that Jesus was a man, a good teacher and prophet but they do not believe that he was the Messiah (the one sent to save us all)… They think that guy is still coming.

  37. Raebees

    Crap, I don’t know how THAT happened. So sorry for the triple post.

  38. RichPort

    #28 – I feel the same way about most of you chicks… I mean no one can eat an entire keilbasa on their own…

  39. perpetual_socialite

    Madonna wouldn’t be Madonna if she didn’t act weird. And remember the Kabbalah she practices is the “fluffy, new-age cult Kabbalah” and not the strict Jewish mystical tradition.

  40. beifiori

    yeah, well, even Satan BELIEVES in Jesus, big whoop…just saying…

  41. Aristotrash

    To be fair to Madonna, the so-called religious authority on religion that this article quotes is from “Cultnews.com” . . . I’m not so sure he’s got the ultimate say in major theological debates here . . .

  42. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I heard that Madonna uses pages of the Torah as maxi pads. Torah! Torah! Torah!

  43. jFp

    I don’t think madonna should bleed on other peoples holy books…or masterbate with their crosses either.

  44. herbiefrog

    what was the question?

    oh yes…

    why cant you believe in two things at once
    that others think cant coexist

    that was it really :)

    poor moks

  45. herbiefrog

    but they do not believe that he was the Messiah (the one sent to save us all)… They think that guy is still coming.

    no…he was us

    and yet you stilkl nailed us to a tree

    bastards

    what is the questioj>?

    the fact that we’re here now
    ?

  46. justme

    The father will just have more babies he can’t take care of just like the negroes here.. Blacks don’t value life like humans do..

  47. checkyourshorts

    #46, there’s a sheet sale at Macy’s.

  48. smeejay

    an athiest can beleive in jesus. there are census records for mary, joseph and jesus of nazareth. he lived and died. the rest is a matter of faith. so, what? i like you christ, i do not like your christians. they are so unlike your christ. mohandas gandhi-1940

  49. ffordegroupie

    I can’t think of any real religion — emphasis on REAL — where you can believe two diametrically different things. Mad Madge may claim that it’s all about love and peace, but it isn’t.

    And considering that Judaism is sort of the pre-Christianity, or Christianity is post-Judaism, that makes it even more ridiculous. Like saying that an insect can be both butterfly and caterpillar.

    She’s just saying this because she lied to that African man, telling him that she was a “nice Christian lady.”

    As for the whole bus of children thing… come on, she’d only rescue them if she could benefit from it. And she’d be snarling “Move it, ya little brats! I have a press conference to call!”

  50. RichPort

    Something tells me justme is a social worker in the ‘hood.

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