Madonna is a master of disguise

July 12th, 2007 // 74 Comments
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Madonna tried going incognito to Justin Timberlake’s concert in London recently by hiding under a black cape. The Scoop reports:

“She was texting on her mobile, eating crisps and yawning just before the show began!” according to one fan report. Madonna was wearing a black hooded cape and was surrounded by bodyguards. “When everyone realized it was her and started chanting ‘Madonna!’ she put the hood on and went under the seat.”

Only a celebrity would think hiding under a black cape is a disguise. Most people put on wigs and sunglasses, but not Madonna. No, she dresses like Batman. I’m surprised she didn’t have a blinking neon sign around her neck that flashed, “I’m Madonna.” I guess that was Plan B.

These pictures are completely unrelated, I just thought Madonna’s cleavage was neat.

superficial

  1. Madonna’s cleavage – and Madonna herself – have gone from “neat” to strangely gross and weird in the past few years. Does anyone REALLY care about her anymore?

  2. oowhisperoo

    yawn

  3. Sportsdvl

    The real question is why would ANYONE attend a Justin Timberlake concert???

  4. maeby

    She keeps getting weirder and weirder.

  5. havoc

    Jesus…she’s still around?

    Does she still speak with a fake British accent?

    LMAO!

  6. veggi

    I like her fake british accent. no, wait, no I don’t.

  7. veggi

    who are you havoc and why are you sharing my brain?

  8. Dorepoll

    Strange that such a rad guy such as Guy Richie is with this crazy hose beast.

  9. no1justminda

    Yeah, Madonna’s cleavage was neat…20 years ago.

  10. Baroness

    Neat pimple in #8.

  11. dannielynn'sdaddy

    About this “back to the 80s” thing…. If you did feathered hair once you do not get to do it again. It’s not irony, it’s sad. You look your age, Madge. As a matter of fact, you look LIKE someone named Madge. Get used to it and grow up. And put on some damned gloves. Your hands are scaring people. Christ, to think…. she touches children with those things.

  12. Penis Mightier

    I wouldn’t use the word neat to describe anything about Madonna. The following words do come to mind: Bitch, Fake, Worthless, Hypocrite, Bitch, Old, Wrinkly, Sad, Bitch, Skank, Whore, Grandma, and Bitch.

  13. Why are we wasting are time with this boring crap. Can we get some more Hilary Swank bikini pictures

  14. zuzuspetals

    Women everywhere:
    Please, please for the love of baby Jesus and everything that is right and good, please stop smashing your breasts together. It’s reaaaallly unattractive.

    I’d rather look at Bai Ling’s breasts than see the “smothering my boobs with a wonderbra” look. There is one word that pops to mind when I see cleavage like that and its

    MOOOOO

    “To err is human, to moo- bovine.” – National Lampoon, I think.

  15. jus'stupid

    Fish, she’s like 60, I don’t like looking at tits of people my mother’s age.

  16. Sauron

    I forgot my reading glasses.But what kind of drink is Vulvac?

  17. zuzuspetals

    PS: Despite my issues with her cleavage in these photos, Madonna rules, and always will.
    Love her!

  18. Don Mega

    Strike a pose. X_X

  19. Why the British Are So Gay

    they say “eating crisps” just to cram in a little more lisping

  20. Chauncey Gardner

    How can anybody as rat-fucking crazy as Madonna manage to avoid any kind of serious trouble in her life?

  21. I guess she looks ok for a 56 year old prostitute.

  22. veggi

    @13- gracias.

  23. CAN'T EAT UR CHICKEN POX

    Madonna is becoming one of the world’s most oldest entertainers ever known. I mean sure, she’s sold far over 100 million albums worldwide and yeah, she’s got a killer mouth…er, skill. but nothing and i mean NOTHING beats wrinkles on tits, eyes, corners of the mouth, hands, pretty much her whole body. oh yea, aging gracefully? i fucking doubt it!

  24. i hate you too!

    Those just mayb be the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen (besides those bubblicious blue ones that Blowhan wears). Either way, Madonna’s still pretty the shit…
    Who can honestly say that they look better at 50 or 60 than they did when they were in their 20′s? Hmm… strange.

  25. MoodRing

    #21 i never knew she was a prostitute. you mena people actually PAY to screw that thing? tsh! Give me Madonna, a Russian girl with big boobs, a corona and some lubricant and i bet you wouldn’t have to pay for SHIT!

  26. #24
    “Who can honestly say that they look better at 50 or 60 than they did when they were in their 20′s? Hmm… strange.”

    to answer ur question, Madonna sure can’t. look at her. Oh just look at her. I mean it’s like she’s wearing 3 push-up bras at once just to keep those boys in check. AND WHO THE HELL WEARS ALL BLACK!? she fucking scares me now. Her look is like her movie career. it just gets worse and worse and…pretty much worse. she’s finished in like 6 years.

  27. dannielynn'sdaddy

    24,
    You can’t seriously think that Madonna looks better now than when she first came onto the scene as the original Boy Toy? You know, back when she had some padding and softness and a resemblance to Marilyn Monroe. She’s looking more and more like Edgar Winters to me every time I see her lately.

  28. Crystal

    What’s up with that huge pimple on her tit in the last picture? ha ha ha.

  29. my comment

    Cleavage with pimples?

    No so neat.

  30. Tessa

    OMG, she has my mom’s same age, the main difference is that Madonna has a large ammount of $ and she looks like shit, my mom looks like a normal 49 woman.

  31. my comment

    For Christ’s sake, why do people insist on carrying phones around all the time? Buy a bag. Put the phone/ipod/blackberry down. for a minute. please?

    Same goes for bottled water.

  32. wanky

    ewwwww on the last pic you can clearly see a nasty pimple on her left tit! isnt she like 48 or something?? damn grandma make me some cookies!!

  33. dannielynn'sdaddy

    Well, alright! It’s about time they got the drag queen impersonator advertisements up in here. Now it feels almost like Madonna is right here in the room.

  34. gary

    sick – you think you’ve got a nipple in your mouth and you’re actually sucking a whitehead. And you just know she’ll make you swallow when it bursts.

  35. miss oblivious

    Granny’s got talent, but she should put her bazongas away now; nobody wants to see that anymore. And she’s a weirdo and a snoot, but at least she can sing. More than I can say for a lot of other “singers” now a days.

  36. wienus

    Who is this shrivelled pear with a big wig on it’s head? Wasn’t she only sort of pretty 3 decades ago.. so why does anyone want to look at it now?? BOOO!

  37. lambman

    it just sounds to me like she was trying to avoid attention at a concert for somebody else…that seems polite. The cape thing is weird as hell, but her intentions seemed to be in the right place

  38. kait

    It’s a relief to see that her 49 YO cleavage and chest area looks just as aged as mine does, and that her chemically abused hair is just as broken as mine. I was starting to think I looked past my prime or something.

  39. Guy

    Fucking bitch, I don’t think she has ever come up with anything original. She is always fucking copying other good artists, in both her music and the way she looks.

    Thank God she hasn’t raped Debbie Harry’s 80′s look yet.

  40. Guy

    P.s.

    She can’t sing, but she can talk into this microphone which gives her this real cool robot voice :D

  41. i hate you too!

    #27, Never have I seen her resemble Marilyn in the slightest bit… not once! And I think she still has plenty of padding except maybe it just so happens to be in her bra…?

  42. flyby

    yeah…wasn’t it just a few years ago she was doing that grandma-dancing-to-techno thing?

  43. michelle

    I love the huge zit on her boob in picture #8.

  44. Shaun Diamonds

    State of her

  45. Tinkerintenor

    I think you’re all just scared of her because she could clearly beat the shit out of you. I think even her boobs are muscular. And Chauncey, the reason she’s never been serious trouble is that she’s not a drug-addicted idiot with the IQ of a grapefruit like pretty much everyone else who’s ever featured on this page.

  46. Chauncey Gardner

    #45,

    She was married to Sean Penn; I’m sure she’s done her fair share of blow.

  47. Why in the fuck doesn’t she learn how to style her hair?!?!?

    Or at least hire someone with taste todo it for her…Yuk!!!

  48. hater_hater

    Leave her alone!, or the gay mafia will give you head while you sleep.

  49. HeavenScent

    *Madonna bursts into song* “Don’t Cry for me, Superficial! The truth is I’m fucking ugly! All thru the 90′s, a talentless whore, now in 07, just a withered 49 year old bore….”
    is she borrowing wigs from Spears ?

  50. Madonna iz now England
    and Europez problem…

    American iz done with
    her..zhe iz no longer
    American to uz…

    I think itz zad when a
    uzed up performer pullz
    publicity ztuntz juzt for
    a bit of attention…like
    that adoption and that
    grozz kizz to Brittney
    yearz ago..we can thank
    Madonna for teachin that
    ztupid zhit to her…now
    we have to deal with her
    crap..

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