Madonna has some magic water

Superficial / August 22, 2006
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Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie have reportedly been lobbying the British government and nuclear inudstry to “clean up radioactive waste with a supposedly magic Kabbalah fluid,” says London’s Sunday TImes.

“It was like a crank call . . . the scientific mechanisms and principles were just bollocks, basically,” one official told the Times. “She relentlessly pursued people,” according to a former civil servant. “She wanted to get this Russian scientist to explain this to civil servants.”

“I can write the greatest songs and make the most fabulous films and be a fashion icon and conquer the world, but if there isn’t a world to conquer, what’s the point?” Madonna said, according to the paper. “I’ve just come to a place in my life where I’m trying to really see what the big picture is and where my energy is better spent, and that’s one area I’m really concerned about.” Madonna’s rep dismissed the story as old news, saying that the singer’s efforts occurred a few years back. “Better to talk about her current obsession – building an orphanage in [the AIDS ravaged African nation of] Malawi,” she noted, “kind of adopting an entire country.”

Conquer the world? Madonna is like some hyperactive six year old that still believes in the Tooth Fairy. One day she’s trying to sell magic water and the next she trying to adopt Africa. Pretty soon she’ll try to buy a unicorn so she can ride it to the North Pole and ask Santa for a shiny new rainbow.