Madonna & Guy Ritchie hold hands in public, that must mean they’re in love

July 2nd, 2008 // 37 Comments

Madonna and Guy Ritchie went out for dinner last night and were spotted holding hands. Because that looks perfectly natural within the confines of a marriage. Jesus. This couldn’t look anymore staged if they were wearing “His” and “Her’s” T-shirts while paddling a canoe. Heidi and Spencer just looked at these pics and went “Pfft. Amateurs.” Then finished putting on their Uncle Sam and Slutty Betsy Ross outfits. (You know it’s coming.)

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Comments (37)

  1. snarf | July 2, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    SHIT BALLS!

    Reply
  2. Nicole Jacob | July 2, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    I hope they stay together!

    Reply
  3. Nicole Jacob | July 2, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    I hope they stay together!

    Reply
  4. Grover Cleveland | July 2, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    I dare say that this is a signal to the Middle East that they should calm down and except each other

    Reply
  5. Kim Lardassian | July 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    What the fuck does she look like with those things under those shorts? Ridiculous thats what she looks l;ike, I hope she gets the fuck out of England we are sick to death of her and her pushy, arrogant & wannabee British ways.

    Reply
  6. numbers | July 2, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    sixth

    Reply
  7. numbers | July 2, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    sixth

    Reply
  8. JimmyBachaFungool | July 2, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    She sucks and is a waste of time. Ritchie should go after Robin Meade from CNN Headline News.

    Reply
  9. KIki | July 2, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    Guy’s purse simply makes his outfit. Positively SMASHING!

    Reply
  10. Albi, The racist Dragon | July 2, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    Where the fuck are her toes??

    Reply
  11. juicy | July 2, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    I’m still trying to figure out the fug shorts/stocking thing Madonna’s wearing. Is that considered high fashion these days? She looks homeless to me.

    Reply
  12. FRIST!!! | July 2, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    OMG I bet the Fish is right. About Sixpence and Hivey dressing up for the staged 4th of July pics..

    geh!!

    Reply
  13. roop | July 2, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    It gives me a warm feeling to know that boy scouts still offer to help and old women across the street.

    Reply
  14. boo | July 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    Let’s see…he’s carrying her purse and she’s biting her nails like it’s her last meal. This marriage is fine.

    Reply
  15. gio | July 2, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    What would this starved-for-herMommy-who-sadly-died-young narcissicst woman do if there were no cameras snapping her picking her teeth? I have never seen a photo of her where she did not appear intensely overexcited because her picture was being taken. If not, she’ll gladly roll around on the floor and spread her legs as wide as she can, or stand on her head and shove her ass in the lens. Look at ME! Look at ME! LOOK AT ME-e-e-e-e-e!!! She’s sickening.

    Reply
  16. AndrewMacCloud | July 2, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Madonna is not just holding hands here !
    Look closely, she’s just exercising het forerms,squeezing guy’s hands , so her huge muscular arms are properly pumped up, for as soon as they arrive at home , they can continue their never ending celebrity deathmatch..

    Of course paused in between rounds, with everlasting constant quarreling .over about almost everything. that they can come up with…

    At least they’re spending some time together again..
    Cheers, To the happy couple!

    Reply
  17. Angry Beaver | July 2, 2008 at 1:40 pm

    They’re not holding hands. He’s trying to pry his balls out of her kung-fu grip of death, which he’ll never do. Look at those stringy muscles…she has strength of 10 grinches!

    Reply
  18. Scott | July 2, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    To quote Dane Cook (please, hold your hate):

    “They hold hands, but it’s not loving at all. It’s like a rigor mortis-rheumatoid arthritis-red rover grip they’ve got going on.”

    Reply
  19. Rut Roh | July 2, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    Awww, how cute. See, sometimes the scary, old witch does get the handsome knight. And fuck if that ruins everything.
    Now, he needs to pry his balls from her guns of iron and run like the wind.

    Reply
  20. Mark | July 2, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    That would be awesome if you called Spencer and Heidi’s 4th of July shenanigans correctly.

    Reply
  21. Madonna is lame | July 2, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    OK so are they getting divorced or what? And you’re right guys, WTF is up with her fugged up outfit? Who dresses her?

    Reply
  22. DonnaInMichigan | July 2, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    Ah they look so happy and in love, dont’cha think?

    PR bullchit

    Reply
  23. Aerial | July 2, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Won’t somebody mention that they look really doped? Especially her. They look like they drank way too much. And I think she’s dressed really well!

    Reply
  24. sameshitdifferentyear | July 2, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Hey Fish
    Do you have the original photos?
    You know, the ones before the handcuffs were Photoshopped out.

    #17 lol grinch nice refn

    Reply
  25. Xanthia | July 2, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    Like his purse…………………..

    Reply
  26. NY Ted | July 2, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Not as much as she is in love with A-Rods penis! She likes the over paid bum giving her the home run stroke up her rear end…!! He hits better with her then when up at bat.

    Reply
  27. JRG3 | July 2, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    If that’s not the picture of 1 1/2 men in tremendous pain, I don’t know what is. There’s nothing about this couple in this picture that says ‘happy’. Shame to, they’re probably both decent-ish people just not together.

    Reply
  28. SaucyTango | July 2, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    He’s holding her purse. She’s holding his balls.

    Reply
  29. Trover | July 2, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    He looks way too classy for her. She looks like a Trailer Park Whore. He looks like Burberry.

    Reply
  30. your fat mom | July 2, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    He’s stupid, and she’s untalented. Together they make a pretentious white trash sandwich. Good for them!

    Reply
  31. Narcissist | July 2, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    What is up with her outfit? Sweat pants and a dirty t-shirt would have been more elegant.

    Reply
  32. Alice | July 3, 2008 at 5:53 am

    Have u guys heard that he ever appeared on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot singles to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating? There are his hot photos and Lots of hot girls are found in his circle there. I’ve been there for day, it seems the girls are not hard to hook up.lol

    Reply
  33. hendero | July 3, 2008 at 7:03 am

    update – A-Rod and his wife are splitting, the same week as he’s reported leaving Madonna’s apartment. Yeah, they’re just friends….

    Reply
  34. Nique | July 3, 2008 at 8:21 am

    Do you see the little red band she is wearing aroung the wrist all the time?

    It is a “secret sign” for “Ana”, i.e. women who are anaeroxic and proud of it.
    My … what a wreck!

    Reply
  35. kali | July 3, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    why is she covering her mouth? bad botox?

    Reply
  36. Leila | July 3, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    I’m surprised by how much more human-like she looks without make-up.
    and #34 the band is supposed to be Cabala related, what she doesn’t know is that neither women nor non-Hebrew speakers can study it.

    Reply
  37. Candylicious | July 8, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    #10 – Seriously, where are her feet?

    #18 Exactly! That’s exactly what it is! “…rigor mortis-rheumatoid arthritis, Red rover grip”

    And does anyone else see the dead look in the poor guys eyes? Because I’m looking, and it’s there…

    Reply

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