Madonna & Guy Ritchie hold hands in public, that must mean they’re in love

July 2nd, 2008 // 37 Comments

Madonna and Guy Ritchie went out for dinner last night and were spotted holding hands. Because that looks perfectly natural within the confines of a marriage. Jesus. This couldn’t look anymore staged if they were wearing “His” and “Her’s” T-shirts while paddling a canoe. Heidi and Spencer just looked at these pics and went “Pfft. Amateurs.” Then finished putting on their Uncle Sam and Slutty Betsy Ross outfits. (You know it’s coming.)

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  1. snarf

    SHIT BALLS!

  2. Nicole Jacob

    I hope they stay together!

  3. Nicole Jacob

    I hope they stay together!

  4. I dare say that this is a signal to the Middle East that they should calm down and except each other

  5. Kim Lardassian

    What the fuck does she look like with those things under those shorts? Ridiculous thats what she looks l;ike, I hope she gets the fuck out of England we are sick to death of her and her pushy, arrogant & wannabee British ways.

  6. numbers

    sixth

  7. numbers

    sixth

  8. JimmyBachaFungool

    She sucks and is a waste of time. Ritchie should go after Robin Meade from CNN Headline News.

  9. KIki

    Guy’s purse simply makes his outfit. Positively SMASHING!

  10. Where the fuck are her toes??

  11. juicy

    I’m still trying to figure out the fug shorts/stocking thing Madonna’s wearing. Is that considered high fashion these days? She looks homeless to me.

  12. OMG I bet the Fish is right. About Sixpence and Hivey dressing up for the staged 4th of July pics..

    geh!!

  13. roop

    It gives me a warm feeling to know that boy scouts still offer to help and old women across the street.

  14. boo

    Let’s see…he’s carrying her purse and she’s biting her nails like it’s her last meal. This marriage is fine.

  15. gio

    What would this starved-for-herMommy-who-sadly-died-young narcissicst woman do if there were no cameras snapping her picking her teeth? I have never seen a photo of her where she did not appear intensely overexcited because her picture was being taken. If not, she’ll gladly roll around on the floor and spread her legs as wide as she can, or stand on her head and shove her ass in the lens. Look at ME! Look at ME! LOOK AT ME-e-e-e-e-e!!! She’s sickening.

  16. AndrewMacCloud

    Madonna is not just holding hands here !
    Look closely, she’s just exercising het forerms,squeezing guy’s hands , so her huge muscular arms are properly pumped up, for as soon as they arrive at home , they can continue their never ending celebrity deathmatch..

    Of course paused in between rounds, with everlasting constant quarreling .over about almost everything. that they can come up with…

    At least they’re spending some time together again..
    Cheers, To the happy couple!

  17. Angry Beaver

    They’re not holding hands. He’s trying to pry his balls out of her kung-fu grip of death, which he’ll never do. Look at those stringy muscles…she has strength of 10 grinches!

  18. Scott

    To quote Dane Cook (please, hold your hate):

    “They hold hands, but it’s not loving at all. It’s like a rigor mortis-rheumatoid arthritis-red rover grip they’ve got going on.”

  19. Rut Roh

    Awww, how cute. See, sometimes the scary, old witch does get the handsome knight. And fuck if that ruins everything.
    Now, he needs to pry his balls from her guns of iron and run like the wind.

  20. Mark

    That would be awesome if you called Spencer and Heidi’s 4th of July shenanigans correctly.

  21. Madonna is lame

    OK so are they getting divorced or what? And you’re right guys, WTF is up with her fugged up outfit? Who dresses her?

  22. DonnaInMichigan

    Ah they look so happy and in love, dont’cha think?

    PR bullchit

  23. Aerial

    Won’t somebody mention that they look really doped? Especially her. They look like they drank way too much. And I think she’s dressed really well!

  24. sameshitdifferentyear

    Hey Fish
    Do you have the original photos?
    You know, the ones before the handcuffs were Photoshopped out.

    #17 lol grinch nice refn

  25. Xanthia

    Like his purse…………………..

  26. NY Ted

    Not as much as she is in love with A-Rods penis! She likes the over paid bum giving her the home run stroke up her rear end…!! He hits better with her then when up at bat.

  27. JRG3

    If that’s not the picture of 1 1/2 men in tremendous pain, I don’t know what is. There’s nothing about this couple in this picture that says ‘happy’. Shame to, they’re probably both decent-ish people just not together.

  28. SaucyTango

    He’s holding her purse. She’s holding his balls.

  29. Trover

    He looks way too classy for her. She looks like a Trailer Park Whore. He looks like Burberry.

  30. your fat mom

    He’s stupid, and she’s untalented. Together they make a pretentious white trash sandwich. Good for them!

  31. What is up with her outfit? Sweat pants and a dirty t-shirt would have been more elegant.

  32. Alice

    Have u guys heard that he ever appeared on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot singles to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating? There are his hot photos and Lots of hot girls are found in his circle there. I’ve been there for day, it seems the girls are not hard to hook up.lol

  33. hendero

    update – A-Rod and his wife are splitting, the same week as he’s reported leaving Madonna’s apartment. Yeah, they’re just friends….

  34. Nique

    Do you see the little red band she is wearing aroung the wrist all the time?

    It is a “secret sign” for “Ana”, i.e. women who are anaeroxic and proud of it.
    My … what a wreck!

  35. kali

    why is she covering her mouth? bad botox?

  36. Leila

    I’m surprised by how much more human-like she looks without make-up.
    and #34 the band is supposed to be Cabala related, what she doesn’t know is that neither women nor non-Hebrew speakers can study it.

  37. Candylicious

    #10 – Seriously, where are her feet?

    #18 Exactly! That’s exactly what it is! “…rigor mortis-rheumatoid arthritis, Red rover grip”

    And does anyone else see the dead look in the poor guys eyes? Because I’m looking, and it’s there…

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