Madonna getting facelift

I wasn’t even planning on posting today since I figured I would just have sex in rememberance of those that died for our country, but once the supermodels passed out I got bored and here I am. Anyway, The London Free Press is reporting that after years of saying it wouldn’t happen Madonna has started looking into potential plastic surgeons for a facelift, as well as a fertility doctor in hopes of having a third child.

Her reps are interviewing potential plastic surgeons in Britain and the U.S., selecting the most experienced. Two surgeons have visited her London home and she’s expected to meet with others in New York.

Maybe she could save some money and pick a plastic surgeon that was also a fertility doctor. And by “also a fertility doctor” I mean somebody willing to have sex with her after he’s worked on her saggy face. I don’t want to start any rumors, but I hear Guy Ritchie has so little sperm that his penis fell off. I’m no doctor (actually yes, I am) but I’m 100% certain that’s possible and did indeed happen.

Tags: Madonna