A surprisingly decent looking Madonna went on a date last night with an unidentified mystery man, and this guy doesn’t even look like he’s alive. Oh, she touched him with the death hands; He’s not. Wow. Nothing like starting your night thinking you’ll be banging a dolled-up Madonna only to be fed to giant scarabs in her basement instead. But then again, who wouldn’t prefer that outcome? A-Rod, sit down.
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Mr. Knievel | January 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Well he’s obviously a zombie slave of the Mummy Queen. When is Brendan Frasier going to show up and wise crack her to death.
notthatbad | January 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Her face actually doesn’t look that bad in these. But check the petrified hands…ick.
klance | January 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm
You can shoot your face full of botulism but the hands tell the true story.
mike hawk | January 11, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Are you sure that is Madonna? It could be a really good mask.
dew | January 11, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I agree her face looks fairly decent. But even with pancake makeup, her hands still look gnarly. She should wear those frilly-lacy sleeves that extend beyond the wrist, or fingerless gloves in the winter.
SucreKID | January 11, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I guess after all those sports players (i.e. A-Rod and that soccer player) she got Athlete’s CUNT and is turned off of sports
fuckstocker | January 11, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Unidentified mystery guy
Your fuckstock os assprone, nutcocker.
SucreKID | January 11, 2009 at 3:27 pm
… permanently
Styxchix | January 11, 2009 at 3:29 pm
I’m with #2 and 3 – check out the hands! The stuff children’s nightmares are made of. This doesn’t even look like Madonna to me, the face is so smooth as to be unrecognisable. Terrible photo of the guy with her, unless that’s him visibly recoiling from the aforementioned claws.
joanna | January 11, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Wow, i remember the time when this site wasnt updated on the weekends… So i assume that you dont have a life whatsoever now, Fish? Im kinda sorry, but its more fun for the readers. Theyre the only ones you have, dont you;(
you | January 11, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Dude looks like he has a steel bar shoved up his ass all the way to his head.
God, I hate this bitch so much.
Andrewon | January 11, 2009 at 3:53 pm
This guy looks like Glass Joe from Mike Tyson’s Punchout
Bernie Madoff | January 11, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Those are some veiny bony hands. Mine? Never sweat a calories being part of the banking cartel until now. Aww don’t worry guys, I’ll be alright heh heh
ha ha ha ho hee ho ho hee hee Muah ah ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ROFLMAO!
(stupid cattle)
Guest | January 11, 2009 at 4:01 pm
at least she looks. . . somewhat okay-ish.
I hate madonna with a passion,
&& that red lipstick does nothing for her.
BUT, at least she covered up her
zombie arms.
Pathetic Worm | January 11, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Let’s have a little sympathy for the rod-up-his-ass dude. Madge just ripped his balls off and ate them in front of him.
Chris | January 11, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Isn’t that Steven Klein?
cynthia k | October 24, 2010 at 3:47 pm
one of madonnas mystery men is supposedly a 40 yr old wealthy (viagra) spammer George Merwin of Florida.He has been seen in N.Y. , Miami and even London at exact same times as her.Its been very hard digging up a pic of him.a few club owners gave up his name after some digging.well see if we can grab a photo.The question is how many mystery men are there?
maine | November 27, 2010 at 10:16 am
where did this george merwin guy come from? I cant find anything on the web about him.
Pat | January 11, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Her boytoy looks like a Zombie, but I think he might have actually hiptonized her into eating some food. She looks really good for an old broad.
Amy | January 11, 2009 at 4:37 pm
He’s a photographer that she has worked with before.
Eva | January 11, 2009 at 4:43 pm
It’s good to see her looking presentable. The images of her at concerts wearing fishnets freaked me out every single time.
Mr Sticky | January 11, 2009 at 4:57 pm
The guy looks like the male model for The Simpsons character, Sideshow Bob, and others.
Mr Sticky | January 11, 2009 at 5:00 pm
The guy looks like the male model for The Simpsons character, Sideshow Bob, and others.
Liz | January 11, 2009 at 5:16 pm
White guys suck in bed, sad but true.
Jessica S | January 11, 2009 at 5:31 pm
That’s Jessica Seinfeld in the backseat of the car with her. THose two are friends? I can’t even imagine what they would talk about.
Waaaaaa | January 11, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Nice overly-obvious cheekbone implants…
AnnaDraconida | January 11, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Can you spell BOTOX?
She’s still the Queen Of Pop, though.
Harry | January 11, 2009 at 6:18 pm
If you’re a nobody, and Madonna wants to date you, do you say yes just for the thrill of doing Madonna? Or is the decaying mummy look just too much?
I’d hit it. Madonna’s no spring chicken, but she’s not Estelle Getty yet, either.
deka | January 11, 2009 at 6:26 pm
she does look REALLY good!!
12=32 | January 11, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Wow…she looks 10 years younger…no kiddin.
What’s with this dude, though? He is not only ugly but just plain akward…i guess nothing is impossible in this life, huh?
I think Madonna should have stayed with Guy, i doubt she’ll find someone better. Seriously.
mspence | January 11, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Is it just me or does this guy look like a Thunderbird or something our of Team America?
America, fuck yeah!
isitin | January 11, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Liz #22, your a dumb cunt!!!!!!!!!!!
Narcissist | January 11, 2009 at 7:23 pm
She looks pretty nice here covered up.
Maggie From Buffalo | January 11, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Skeletor Barbie at it again…
Mal | January 11, 2009 at 7:50 pm
She looks good. Creepy hands. I think she’s a vampire and just drank some of his youth tbh.
p.s. Superficial writer? marry me.
Rosie Eats Taco | January 11, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Those hands are made daily out of fresh veiny penises or is it penii I always forget.
Fati | January 11, 2009 at 8:32 pm
no matter what she does she’ll always be a diva. and that’s just a fact. sorry, haters.
to #22 – have you ever thought that it might be YOU who sucks in bed, and not the guys?
Spiraticus | January 11, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Dang, how many bottles of botox did the old hag use?
A Guy | January 11, 2009 at 8:51 pm
She looks surprisingly non-scary with most of her skeleton covered. It would be nice to think she’d take the hint: “You mean bones need to have something on them? And not every joint, ligament and nerve fiber should be seen through the skin? What a novel idea — I must consult with my embalmer at once!”
The hands aren’t that much of a problem — not the worst of it by half.
Maybe the guy is some Egyptologist she hired to do some restoration work, and he decided to start with the face. Keep up the good work, dude! He does look kind of shell-shocked, though — maybe that’s just from seeing how much more work he has yet to do. Or maybe it’s the miles of blowing sand he had to walk through to get to her pyramid. Either theory fits, since he does seem to have kind of an Indiana Jones thing going on.
If he is completely successful in achieving a life-like appearance for Madonna, perhaps he and several dozen of his colleagues could tackle the Nightmare on Versace Street.
Peaches | January 11, 2009 at 9:11 pm
He’s gay. No straight man would EVER wear that jacket. Eeeeewwwwwww!!!!!!!
addled | January 11, 2009 at 10:21 pm
ugh, the hands!
Bob Dylan | January 11, 2009 at 11:04 pm
yeah… that “unidentified man” is Steven klein.
gerard Vandenberg | January 11, 2009 at 11:07 pm
This is a gwen stefani lookalike in a very, VERY cheap version, folks?
Belinda | January 12, 2009 at 12:44 am
I really like that Madonna has gone lighter with her hair, it suits her much more than the previous shade of blond she had
jicy | January 12, 2009 at 1:05 am
she looks great, for her age, wow. her hands are veiny because shes very active, and i have to admit, she has a better body than me and i’m only 20. haha. oh…
alexis | January 12, 2009 at 2:07 am
is madonna dating andy dick? all he needs is the glasses!
pablo | January 12, 2009 at 5:17 am
That’s Steven Klein……
It’s quite obvious you have no idea of who he is, but it’s a very good photographer that has worked with her during many years, and he is really good at hit work…
Chances of madonna dating him = 0
rekk | January 12, 2009 at 5:44 am
Confirmed. I just looked at Klein’s site – all bondage-inspired and homoerotic, virtually nothing hinting at heterosexual sensuality. And I don’t know about you guys, but I find nothing erotic about rape, execution or self cutting, which his pictures are redolent of.
Any comments on that? Hardcore SM, sexy or scary?
Roxana | January 12, 2009 at 5:51 am
She is 50. What did you expect? To have hands like 17. She work’s out, then she has to many muscles, he dosen’t have hands like babies. When will people be satisfied?
Ananana | January 12, 2009 at 8:28 am
#33 betch, back off! he’s mine!
just kidding, i’ll share.
madonna’s dating a robot.
William Taylor | January 12, 2009 at 9:10 am
At 50ish Madonna still looks great, thats the result of constant visit to the doctor I presume.
RichPort's Ghost | January 12, 2009 at 9:10 am
That guy now knows exactly what it feels like to don an oversized leather condom.