Madonna finds a new man (Wait, he’s not Latino!)
A surprisingly decent looking Madonna went on a date last night with an unidentified mystery man, and this guy doesn’t even look like he’s alive. Oh, she touched him with the death hands; He’s not. Wow. Nothing like starting your night thinking you’ll be banging a dolled-up Madonna only to be fed to giant scarabs in her basement instead. But then again, who wouldn’t prefer that outcome? A-Rod, sit down.