Madonna eats our lowly mortal food and other news

- Dustin Diamond reads an excerpt from his tell-all book involving Mario Lopez’s sexual conquests – with women. Nice try, Screech. [PopEater]

- Jessica Biel really did get dumped by Justin Timberlake: A convincing argument. [Lainey Gossip]

- Denise Richards: I’d still hit it. I don’t care if she talks about Charlie Sheen’s fear of breastfeeding the whole time, I’d do it. That needed to be said. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Katie Holmes should be using this time for something more useful than taking Suri shopping. Like, oh I dunno, fleeing the goddamn country and adopting a new alias. Kids love that shit. [PopSugar]

- Jon Hamm in Muppet form. [Just Jared]

- Jessica Alba finds acting work in the third Fockers movie. — Why did that sentence feel like an oxymoron? [The Blemish]

- Kate Gosselin on slowing down the divorce: “Fuuuuuuuuuuck that.” Okay, maybe not her exact words, but it’s what she was thinking while stuffing her children in brown sacks with dollar signs on them. [Socialite Life]

Photos: Splash News