Madonna demands the loins of Gerard Butler

March 9th, 2010 // 41 Comments

Seen here summoning a legion of harpies at Carnaval a few weeks back, Madonna is still on the hunt for Gerard Butler’s elephant spear, according to Hollywood Life:

Gerard attended a private bash that Madge, Demi Moore and producer Guy Oseary threw in the Hollywood Hills March 7 – and despite the very late hour, the action was steamy, we’re told. Madonna and Gerard were “all over each other,” one eyewitness tells HollywoodLife.com. “She was putting on the full-court press, totally charming him – and even challenged him to a dance-off! They were grinding in the middle of the room real close and then Demi joined in. It was hot! Gerard was loving the attention.”
After their sexy dance display, Madonna, 52, and Gerard, 40, huddled in a corner – but alas, she left alone.

Here’s why I don’t believe this story: It’s not that hard to fuck Gerard Butler.

1.) Madonna’s sorcery grants her control over lesser minds. (See: Jesus Luz.)

2.) It’s not like there isn’t a line of women waiting outside Gerard’s apartment. I mean, shit, she’s Madonna. I’m sure someone will let her cut ahead. After that’s it’s a simple matter of presenting and being mentally prepared to hear “It’s like I’m fawking a wee sandbag” before telling the next one to come in. Really not that complicated.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Bird

    Wow…looks look Madonna and Julie Bowen have the same heroine addicted trainer.

  2. Big Dave

    That mouth looks like it should have a hook in it!

  3. Ally

    Go Madge- reigning queen of the cougars!

  4. hello, loser.

    nice mouth-pose, midge.

  5. That first pic look like a blow up doll I saw in the porn shop…

  6. Rich

    OMG, what a dried up old skank, Butler would be better off jerking off with a sandpaper mitten

  7. Captain_Insano

    You can tell this story is bullshit because the article says “it was hot” when Madonna ‘more vascular than Rambo on steroids’ Ciccone, Demi ‘plastic’ Moore, and Gerard ‘stroke face’ Butler were grinding.

  8. Rich

    #7,It was hot, the ‘grinding’ of all the fake materials caused spontanious combustion, igniting a fire.

  9. Willie Dixon

    No wonder women love Gerard Butler. He is apparently made of bacon.

  10. yum

    @9: precisely. That or Cheeto-colored beef jerky. Either way, madonna consumes ALL!!!!

  11. bar room hero

    DSL time..

    on a side note, I really HATE the ‘facebook fishlips,’ what is the deal with that anyways? It is in NO Way sexy and looks ridiculous…

    (example: http://x16.xanga.com/654f532748130257007128/z204484092.jpg )

  12. jonasss

    no madonna didnt want to f*ck gerard-. they are friends. and he guy rivthie friend. madonna was probably drunk and she loves to flirt and demi was there too. everytime madonna starts to dance shes always super sexy. shes madonna. she is many men fntasie. but he is a friend of guy and he met jesus in brazil .he said once that madonna is stunning but they arent involved at all. just a funny night. just that

    madonna looks hot by the way.

  13. AnnaDraconida

    That “It’s like I’m fawking a wee sandbag” bit made me LOL

  14. bert

    as a men i think madonna is super sexy and he just control himself cause he is a frined of guy and madonna was probably just kidding like she always is. but she drives every men to craziness.
    she must be a leo on the bed

  15. I’m amazed Butler didn’t throw up on her.

  16. Holy Crap, she ripped off EVERYTHING. Your head will spin!

    http://aishamusic.wordpress.com/2008/06/19/duran-duran-slam-madonna-madonna/

    Click on the links.

  17. church lady

    I would love to video tape Madonna + Gerard having sex.
    Then I would put down the camera and fuck Gerard myself, while yelling at him THIS IS SPARTA over and over again…then I would turn to Madonna and make Butler hold the camera, and I would dance around In a big red flamenco dress and sing, LA ISLA BONITA, then we would play with each other’s pussies, while I did the bridge and fondled Butler’s big Scottish, British, Asian balls

    Then we would smoke a cigarette, and I would anal fuck both of them with my double headed dildo..fuck them hard, those dirty celebrities..ya ya..

    gotta go make supper, it’s pot roast night!

  18. Kodos

    He probably told her “Well, Jen is not quite as bat shit crazy as you. Yet.
    Plus, she’ll still do oral.”

    fuck off, Madge….

  19. Rough 101

    How come I am not hearing any news of this cat giving a foot massage every week to the casting agent of 300…

  20. dude

    Looks like she’s got a terrible cramp.

    From sucking horse dick and the souls out of children.

  21. Nice pics. Everyone should experience the Carnival in Rio once in their lifetime to see the renowned parades at Sambodromo.In the North Zone you can find Maracana stadium and Rio zoo, which is most visited by tourist.The West Zone comprises of cities like Jacarepagua, Recreio, the newly formed Barra de Tijuca, Campo Grande, Santa Cruz to site a few.you can also find shopping malls in Barra de Tijuca.

  22. Gerard is sexy as hell. Not sure why his skin tone looks like Tom Hanks’ in Cast Away, but I’m okay with it. He’s a God =)

  23. Ann

    I can’t believe I’m admitting this because his John Mayer/Colin Farrell style man-whoring is disgusting, as are his choice of partners but fuck, he’s just so fucking hot I would come as soon as he spoke. When I saw that seen of him banging his wife in 300, I think I did just that.

  24. they are friends. and he guy rivthie friend. madonna was probably drunk and she loves to flirt and demi was there too.

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