Madonna demands the loins of Gerard Butler

Seen here summoning a legion of harpies at Carnaval a few weeks back, Madonna is still on the hunt for Gerard Butler’s elephant spear, according to Hollywood Life:

Gerard attended a private bash that Madge, Demi Moore and producer Guy Oseary threw in the Hollywood Hills March 7 – and despite the very late hour, the action was steamy, we’re told. Madonna and Gerard were “all over each other,” one eyewitness tells “She was putting on the full-court press, totally charming him – and even challenged him to a dance-off! They were grinding in the middle of the room real close and then Demi joined in. It was hot! Gerard was loving the attention.”
After their sexy dance display, Madonna, 52, and Gerard, 40, huddled in a corner – but alas, she left alone.

Here’s why I don’t believe this story: It’s not that hard to fuck Gerard Butler.

1.) Madonna’s sorcery grants her control over lesser minds. (See: Jesus Luz.)

2.) It’s not like there isn’t a line of women waiting outside Gerard’s apartment. I mean, shit, she’s Madonna. I’m sure someone will let her cut ahead. After that’s it’s a simple matter of presenting and being mentally prepared to hear “It’s like I’m fawking a wee sandbag” before telling the next one to come in. Really not that complicated.

Photos: Splash News