Madonna dances in Africa

October 13th, 2006 // 50 Comments

Spiegel has some footage of Madonna dancing around in Africa and it’s every bit as painful as you might imagine. I’m not saying her money isn’t doing some real good there, but I don’t understand the point of her physical presence. She waves at crowds of people like they should care despite the fact they’re starving to death and have no idea who she is. It’d be sick if it wasn’t so sad. And just to finally end the saga, she left Malawi today with her new adopted son, David, who she’ll most likely rename to something a little more trendy. Like Dante. Or Prada. I don’t know, whatever name people who own their own plane like.


  1. I know you’re so hungry you can barely drag yourself out of bed, but Come, dance with me.

  2. jrzmommy

    like she has more rhythm than a black person….

    I’ll give the first person in Malawi a three bedroom condo in Florida on a beach fully furnished if they can sing one full verse of “Lucky Star” or “Holiday”………guaranteed that I will not be in need of a real estate agent in the Sunshine state anytime soon.

  3. Bad_kitty_cat

    Well it IS considered rather polite to join in so *shrug* But she could stop lying about adopting!

  4. jrzmommy

    She’s such an asshole that she’ll name him like Malcolm or Martin….or Tom.

  5. RichPort

    Little did she know the people were dancing to exercise the white demon lady and that little orphan kid who eats his snot from their homeland. It seems to have worked.

  6. guymorgan

    Once the kid learns how big Madonna is the power will go to his head.

    He will be mental when he is older. Fact.

  7. RichPort

    So she’s worth a few brazilian dollars and can’t spring for a couple of hundred folding chairs? Cheap bitch.

  8. Madrid Marriott

    How convenient of Spiegel to edit out the part where she hangs herself on a cross.

  9. To hell with that dried up old hag –


    Bonus: The staff at Cooterpunch led in to GOGF with the lyrics to “I Want Your Sex.”

    It’s as if they are just begging me to go over there and do the nasty to them!

  10. To hell with that dried up old hag –


    Bonus: The staff at Cooterpunch led in to GOGF with the lyrics to “I Want Your Sex.”

    It’s as if they are just begging me to go over there and do the nasty to them!

  11. Double-posting makes your penis grow.

    True story.

  12. jrzmommy

    Did she show this crowd her “Like a Prayer” video where the black dude gets it?

  13. 86

    3 lying is apparently the new black.

  14. NipsyHustle

    I’m sure madonna didn’t do her little jig for free. instead of taking the whole $3 each villager made this year, i’m sure she offered to do her show for half off. that’s madonna. giving back to the huddled masses. meanwhile, the villagers are wondering how good she’ll taste with yams

  15. 86

    I love how all of these pictures are grainy and taken from afar so that we can’t see how haggard she looks without makeup.

  16. jrzmommy

    14–you said jig.

  17. BarbadoSlim

    She should name the kid Mombuto O’Malley.

  18. She happy she just stole one of Africa’s children

  19. Madonna sucks!

    How about my boy Carlos Beltran with that 6th inning monster shot off of the jumbo-tron last night?

    ********** Let’s Go METS ***********

  20. Italian Stallion

    “It makes me feel like dancing”
    “When I adopt an African”
    “You make me feel like dancing”
    “I’m gonna dance the night away”……….

  21. bum

    she’ll name him Penn as a burn on her husband, who she seems to hate now. and after that “dancing” there’s going to be an outbreak of crotchgrab fever.

  22. Madrid Marriott

    She also sang La Isla Bonita so she could seem a little more “ethnic.” So thoughtful.

  23. “If your hungry and you know it clap your hands…”

  24. RichPort

    I wonder if she took the kid back to England shackled on wooden ship, you know, for nostaglia’s sake…

  25. What no one reported was that she had to buy her way off the dinner table. That tribe she “adopted” from is cannibalistic. $20.00 and a communal circle suck saved Madge from being steak tartar.

  26. doihaveabooger

    showing off that hip cool british accent and those bad teeth, the locals thought it was a visit from the queen.

    i heard the country has to convert to kabblabala to qualify for her donation.
    she is a wonderful giving thoughtful person.
    thats the quote from rodman anyway.

  27. Binky

    Well… I must admit she has mastered the “standing in line waiting for a toilet’ dance.
    But I’ve always been surprised how she has combined that and a bit of canned music into a stage career.

  28. James

    Toobad they didn’t kill her, one less idiot in America.

  29. ApacheRose

    All this Madonna “news” is making me long for the days of Hohan cooch sightings and bikini-of-the-day posts.

    Madonna’s a hag and should just go the hell away.

  30. jrzmommy

    Wait til he watches Desperately Seeking Susan, Shanghai Surprise and Evita.

  31. S.P.F.R.S.

    #29 True and there should be a law against hags dancing. They look like witches doing a ritual or something. Wait, isn’t helloween coming up?

    Aside from that, once again, the Madorkka news is contradictory. Superficial says she left with the child, other news sources say she left without the child. Which is it?

  32. Justin Igger

    I’m Justin Igger, adopt me madonna

  33. pursang

    Madonna was quoted as saying that she was actually auditioning back-up dancers for Britney Spear’s next video. I hope she got the memo from Spederline about the no male back-up dancer thing.

    Course if I Spederline I would begin thinking that I ruined the whole man thing for young Britney and that any day she’ll become a bull dyke…well maybe bovine dyke would be a better description.

  34. frenchtoaststix

    I think she’ll name him a series of clicks and hoots, because that’s how pretentious she is. Or an unpronounceable symbol that she’ll have stamped on a new line of kids’ backpacks.

  35. BoognishRising


    Dancing is a big thing in Malawi. It helps keep the flies off.

  36. UHGGH! Where is a rapid gunfire when you need it?! I mean, she’s an EASY TARGET, people!

    Yeah, right there! The dancing white girl, right there!

  37. When is Madonna going to be done sucking? Probably never I guess.

  38. JB Fletcher

    oh madonna,i still remember the days the i thought you was cool and those days are long gone now.
    im sad for missing them.
    having said that,leave african children alone,you wigger wannabee.its so cold in england,the child will go into instant hypothermia shock,and the last piece of her E true hollywodd story will be complete.being arrested for manslaughter.

  39. vlek

    Horrible artist! She can’t sing!


    How can these wealthy celebrities go to Africa, claim they care about the starving and sick people and not take a plane load of food and medicine to help. Getting a picture of your rich ass singing and dancing amongst the starving is not the same thing as helping.

    Thses celebrity jerks make millions and the treat a visit to Africa or some other poor counrty as if it were a trip to a zoo.

  41. Not sure if any of you understood the German, but the video said she’s building an AIDS center (hospital or something). I don’t know what good her work will do for these people, but w/e.

  42. HughJorganthethird

    Hopefully while she was “dancing” a parasitic worm crawled into her dried up old vagina and is currently laying copious amounts of eggs inside her toxic womb.

    dare to dream people

  43. Is it not cool to adopt American kids or something?

  44. ImaniOU

    Are you kidding? Adopting black Americans is soooo 80′s! No. You must get to their African roots. Get them from the source. They are the new black! I hear African infants will be appearing on the runways in London, Paris, and Milan. I hear Gucci is even making a new baby carrier in kente cloth to help their adoptive mothers feel like they are helping their kids connect to their former culture…while being carried by their Guatemalan nannies.

  45. ImaniOU

    She was probably making them dance to Material Girl, of all songs.

  46. ImaniOU

    “what Eye of the Child is saying is: You cannot buy a child as if you are buying a house,” Mandere told The Associated Press. “This process is too short, applying on Tuesday, and yesterday the court gave the OK. I don’t think that the High Court has any information about how Madonna is when it comes to child-rearing.”

    I don’t think the question is Madonna’s child-rearing skills, but rather the child-rearing skills of the help.

  47. wow, that’s pretty painful

  48. It is good!
    I think he’s just dumb or high enough to have let the truth slip to impress his crush Jimmy Kimmel.

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