Madonna bringing Jesus to the Oscars

February 20th, 2009 // 76 Comments

Probably because A-Rod publicly admitted to juicing himself up and therefore has tiny testicles, sources for OK! Magazine say Madonna’s bringing her Brazilian model boyfriend Jesus Luz to the Oscars on Sunday. Nobody knows about his testicles, so it only makes sense:

“Madonna and Jesus have spent all week planning their outfits for Oscar night,” a pal tells OK! “Madonna is planning on using the Vanity Fair party to introduce Jesus to the world as her new boyfriend, and she wants everything to be perfect!”
So why all the fuss if Jesus is just a fling? It seems Madge is getting serious about her latest conquest.
“She’ll put to rest any rumor that Jesus was ‘just a model’ during that racy W photo shoot,” the source adds. “Madonna and Jesus’ romance is real.”

Because I’m a man of science, I made passionate love to a bag of sand a few minutes ago. Just to try and get into the head of a kid like Jesus Luz. You’re a freaking model, but yet you settle for Grandma Sinew. I guess what my main question is: What do you use for the chafing? And also the bleeding, loss of skin, dizziness, etc.? Time is a factor. *THUD*

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Steve Berryman

    You know, I’m happy for Madonna and Jesus. It really seems like a match made in heaven.

  2. Jennyjenjen

    46. Mimi – FAKE FAKE FAKE

    mimi only prays for people… and she NEVER used bad words unless they were directed at MEN.

  3. angeleyes

    46. Mimi -

    mimi always spells it lower case… so it ain’t you.

  4. lucy

    She is so hot. I have seen his profile on ____Millionaire Romances com______, she is welcomed by a lot of rich singles and celebs here. She is looking for passion and excitement?

  5. M?

    who is Mimi?

  6. angeleyes

    mimi… (all lower case) is the one who always posts like this-
    Praying for Amy, or praying for Britney or praying for praying or some such stuff.
    Always praying, so she’s on her knees a lot!

  7. JESUS is everywhere, folks!!

  8. Fati

    The ironic thing is that Madonna and Jesus are supposed to be a mother and a son. Disgusting.

  9. g_girl

    Jesus is hot!!! hahaha

  10. feckless

    He’s eye candy for sure, better than the Jesus that mows my yard.

  11. TJ

    The Oscars are no longer relevant. The numbers watching it are low, the products are usually immoral and/or unpatriotic, the hosts are America-hating jerks, and lately the winners are Affirmative-Action type picks. Meh.

  12. KT

    people really impress me sometimes… Anna Nicole Smith (model!) marries a guy four times older and worth a billion dollars and everyone says, “she married him for the money!!!” now this young hot guy (model!) is dating an older woman worth millions and everyone says, “eeeew why is he doing this?!?!?” do the math.

  13. asshole

    I am an asshole!

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  15. Oh Madonna, she is suffering from a mid-life crisis. I think she shares the same steroids dealer as a-roid. Maybe she will be indicted as well!

  16. ilovehandsome

    Well, he is the kind of most attractive man for me, if I am as handsome as him, i will look for a beautiful and rich lady at ^^^^^^^ C e l e b m i n g l e. C0M^^^^^^^^

  17. jonnas

    y y and where is the pic??keave her alone.my god.i know that madonna make u sell a lot of publicity but c’mon.leave the queen alone

  18. hazmat

    AnthonyTriolo.com – DELICIOUS!!

  19. hazmat

    I AM AN ASSHOLE!

  20. nadia

    How dare someone is sooo weird to compare Madonna to a bag of sand???
    She is beautiful and surely not dry, weirdo Man of Science.
    How about when a guy is 30 older,..it is all nice???
    but when it is the opposite it is not? you are the one with the problem…:)

  21. bmose

    He needs her to renew his Green Card.

  22. .

    i wonder if he has seen midnight cowboy

  23. herbiefrog

    probably…

    …much too late [

    to post in this trhead?
    anyway… this woz now : )

    glad that you enjoyed it

    we dont do parties

    [incred…what?

    shhh

  24. ILoveJesus!

    OHHHHHHHH, the things I would let this man do to me. He is beautiful. And he is sweet Jesus. I’d be screaming, ‘Oh God’, all night long. You amazing man, you. I wish I could give him my phone number….WOW.

  25. jenny

    DISGUSTING! she is old enough to be his grandmother. and it is a thousand times more disgusting than if a man was dating a woman 30 years younger than him, because men can still have children. madonna is 51 and went through menopause a long time ago. she is a pervert trying to hold on to her youth even though she is in her 50s now

  26. Madonna is so lame. It is a complete acne and gays hate film industry now. Jesus can do better. You can tell she is like Gisele (dating fame Leon).

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