Madonna: ‘You Tithe To Me Now’
While I personally believe it’s the ability to assume the body of a griffin and rain fire upon her enemies, it’s often been said that Madonna’s greatest strength is her ego. And after reading her latest interview with Newsweek, I’m inclined to agree with whatever wise prophets made such a proclamation from their enchanted fortress that’s impervious to her incantations:
Touring has become the bulk of Madonna’s business (the last tour grossed $408 million, the most ever for a solo artist) since the music industry went belly up and consumers stopped buying records.
She’s not ready to talk about specific plans for this go-round, but it’s safe to assume that her ticket prices will continue to be astronomically expensive, Great Recession be damned. “So start saving your pennies now,” she says, sounding annoyed that any-one would suggest these prices are prohibitive. “People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I’m worth it.”
But just in case you think the Dark Queen has turned a blind eye to the poor, she found herself pleased by the protests of Occupy Wall Street. Mostly just the part where somebody covered one of her songs, but pleased nonetheless. You may kiss her mystical rings now:
Of course, Madonna is aware that people are having a rough time. A few years ago she got filleted for saying the Big Apple had been more fun back in the day, before it was all taken over by hedge-fund types. “It kinda was,” she says, unapologetic as ever. Consequently, she was “excited” by the Occupy Wall Street movement, for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that Sean Lennon and Rufus Wainwright did a rendition of “Material Girl” at one of the early rallies. “I thought that was cool,” she says, bringing the discussion back to her favorite subject: herself.
Now, back to the ticket prices thing. I like how Madonna compared herself to a handbag considering they both are leath- THIS IS MR. COCOAPANTS, BAT-MONKEY GENERAL OF MADONNA’S UNHOLY CREATURE BATTALION OF THE SKIES. THE WRITER OF THIS FORUM HAS FOUND HIMSELF THE TARGET OF HER WORSHIP’S WRATH. FOR AS WE SPEAK, HIS HEAD RESTS UPON A PIKE FORGED FROM THE BONES OF ANYONE WHO DIDN’T LIKE SWEPT AWAY – MAY IT’S CINEMATIC EXCELLENCE BE PRAISED – AS A WARNING TO THOSE WHO DARE DEFY OUR ROYAL SORCERESS OR SPEAK ILL OF THE DARK ARTS SHE’S WIELDED SINCE BEFORE MAN FIRST CRAWLED FROM THE OOZE AND DEMANDED HER MUSIC FILL HIS EARS.
OUR NUMBERS ARE LEGION. HAIL, MADONNA!
(SHE MADE ME EMBED THAT, BUT SERIOUSLY, IT’S REALLY QUITE CATCHY.)