Madonna & Sean Penn Aren’t Helping

Even though there’s usually a good chance I agree with them, it’s almost always a bad idea for celebrities (or Gary Johnson) to try and talk about politics. Or Photoshop the candidate of their choice in front of their sarcophagus vagina like Madonna decided to do because everyone on her team knows not to trifle her with their insolence. It’s forbidden.

Meanwhile, the guy she used to have sex with went on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and dropped these words of wisdom that future generations will one day carve into a mountain. Via Death and Taxes:

“Either you can decide to divorce yourself from loving your children and piss on a tree and show you have the power to piss on a tree,” said Penn, “or you can go out and vote in a very big way for someone like Hillary Clinton, who then you can challenge and support, which is the only kind of way a president can have any success and you stick it out for four years, or we can just masturbate our way into hell.”

So is voting for Trump pissing on a tree and masturbating into hell is voting third party, or vice versa? What if we masturbate on a tree and piss into hell? Because sometimes I do that. My weekends are my time, alright?

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