Madonna’s Son Ditched Her On Christmas, Will Pay For His Insolence

In the past two years, Madonna has made her son Rocco Ritchie the center of a racist scandal and essentially told all of Instagram that he has no dick, which according to TMZ, doesn’t go over well with teenage boys. Who knew? So after being lugged around on tour with her, Rocco has refused to come home for Christmas after visiting his dad in London, and I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same after spending weeks looking at my mom in lingerie and finding out Sean Penn’s probably going to be hanging around, which can’t be a fun home life.

“Alright, young man, I want you to get me out of my sarcophagus at 6 a.m. on the dot so I can fuck four or five of your friends before school. Have I made myself clea- don’t you roll your eyes at me! Sean, beat him like he made Charlize leave you.”

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