It’s The Madonna Nudes

October 30th, 2013 // 52 Comments
Madonna Nude

Because this site is a home for art, here are the infamous nude photos of Madonna currently up for auction at the Guccione Collection. Anthropologists date them around 1977 when she was the tender, young age of 2,720, and only a few years away from conjuring AIDS and inflicting it upon the world after her affections were rebuffed by a drunk Freddie Mercury. Haha! The 80s.

Click Here For The NSFW Gallery

Photos: News


  1. Lord Evil Uncreator

    whoa GIANT 80s BUSH AHOY Cap’n!!!

  2. cc

    Hmpf, pubic hair…I remember having to wade through that.

    The girl on girl action isn’t what I’d hope for…guess I’ll go back to Vanessa Williams for vintage g-on-g.

    • JC

      Foraging a path to the secret cave was half the fun. I know the kids today are all like, “OMG EW THERE’S HAIR,” but I kinda miss those days.

  3. ruckus

    I didn’t jerk off to this when I was 11, and I am not going to now!!

  4. Mildly Interested

    Another ginormous ’80s bush.. I almost think she could be bush-twins with Demi.

  5. It’s like coming across a stack of Polaroid’s with a rubber band around them in your Grandmother’s attic. The funeral was just three days ago, and…Oh no, Gammy, no…

  6. Deacon Jones


    i wouldve just thrown some mayonnaise on her

  7. alex

    She needs more arm hair.

  8. Jones

    Nice face, nice tits, underfed, ass worse than Miley Cyrus’s.

  9. Convex

    My initial reaction is to take a machete to the bush. My second reaction is to wonder if the woman we know as Madonna today is the same person; the amount of plastic surgery she’s so obviously had is WOW.

  10. A dance student? 80s or not, how did that bush fit in a leotard?

  11. HIV/AIDS was conjured long before the early 80s. That’s just when it became a global epidemic.

  12. Terry Richardson was a 12 year old child prodigy when these photos were taken. Notice he had already mastered B&W.

  13. Are some of these handcolored or had they already invented color photography back in the 1940-ies?

  14. anonymous

    Never did understand her appeal even at the height of her fame. She was ugly back than the way Lady Gaga is ugly now.

    • Somewhere between puberty and access to playboy magazines, long before the holy grail of VHS porn, I constructed a mountain of crusty kleenex while watching Madonna videos. Times were tough.

      • Hell, I used to watch the scrambled Playboy channel for the occasional blurry nipple along with the sex noises. You kids don’t know how well you have it.

      • dennis

        LOL I remember the good ol’ days of changing the tv channel (not the cablebox) to 4 instead of the normal 3 to get free Cinemax from the cable company.

      • LOL! you just haven’t lived until you’ve climaxed to distorted, wavy, black and white images that are more tv interference snow than porn.

      • I remember the first time I fapped. It was to a magazine with Michelle Trachtenberg in it. Ruined that magazine. Then it was on to VHS. then Cinemax, then DVDs, now the internet. I may be young but I went through all the growing pains of the porn industry.

      • Today on “Confessions of Website Commenters” we’ll be hearing about ways horny teenagers got themselves off before the Internet.

      • The 80′s were a tough time sparky. You’d swipe a VHS tape from someone’s dad and wear that thing out two minutes at a time.

      • The tape, or yourself? Both, I guess.

    • whatthe

      Umm, Madonna is leagues above Lady Gaga. I can’t believe you even compared the two. Madonna actually has a pretty face, not a trainwreck like Gaga’s.
      Lady Gaga has to dress weird to distract from the fact that she’s hella homely and not all of the plastic surgery in the world can change it.

      • C’mon… it would be harder NOT to draw the comparison between Lady Gaga and Madonna, irrespective of whom is leagues ahead of whom.

      • Madonna had to eyefuck religious figures and flail around half naked to distract from the same. They are both moderate singers who make shitty pop music and use sex and shock value to hide how shitty it is. How can you not see the similarity?

  15. ugly as fuck back then, mummified ugly now.

  16. Average body on an average singer. We only know who she is due to her willingness to play the whore.

    Sure am glad we are smart enough to not to go gaga over such an obvious and cynical formula today.

  17. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    Grigori and I knew her when we were kids together in the 60s. The 1860s.

  18. She was hot back then. Another case of natural looks trumping plastic surgery.

    • whatthe

      I agree, she was a natural beauty back then. A pretty face, a sweet toned body without the fake tits. I’ll take her any day over Xtina, Britney, Katy Perry, etc.

  19. Nothing like a hairy bush that looks like a sick chimp.

  20. ha. your move gaga.

  21. anonym

    wow. she looked so humble.

    Now she’s just a bitch.

  22. Yum

    I prefer the GILF version of Madge. I must be one sick dude.

  23. I thought it was Lourdes with a bad Janet from Three’s Company haircut.

  24. Brat Pitt

    although i disagree with her megalomania, i do admire her success… She was below average, hairy as fuck, she s not beauty queen, she s not a good singer at all, she probably doesn’t even know how to write a song or play any kind of instrument but her hairy twat made her a millionaire ! good for you madonna, once a slut, always a slut, but now you are a gross mummified old slut sleeping in a pile of money with her boy toys

    • Rasputin's Evil Twin

      That’s a pretty good description of success in the modern world.

      This is one case where the devil may not want the soul he bought from her after all.

    • whatthe

      At least she works out and stays in shape. That’s much more than Lady Gaga, Xtina, Brittney, and Katy do.
      These women are paid to look good, talent is secondary. So they need to work out and keep off the weight like old Madge has done.

  25. MPT

    She was around 20 back then, so stop lying. She’s now 55

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