Dammit, Who Told Madonna About Instagram?

February 12th, 2013 // 48 Comments

Presumably to trick mortals in believing she’s one of them, Madonna joined Instagram over the weekend where she immediately launched into posting selfies of her cleavage which is giving all of our grandmothers ideas, so we should probably put a stop to this. I’ll get the stakes.

Photos: Instagram


  1. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Is that Ray Jay’s piss on her chin?

  2. Janice

    Shouldn’t there be the blood of virgins in there?

  3. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
    Little Tongue
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    Judging from the red in her eyes, this isn’t her first drink!


    Instagram filters really bring out the dead in her eyes.

  5. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
    Cock Dr
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    She must still see herself as a young and sexy young woman.

  6. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    ew you can see her old lady skin hanging from her triceps.

  7. Dear God, what is that thing.

  8. Inner Retard

    Take a good look Lady Gaga. This is you in a few seconds.

    • JC

      Hell, this is Lady Gaga right now, at least in terms of “level of attractiveness.” Age is going to be really unkind to that nutter.

    • Yeah, if you told me this was Lady GaGa and not Madonna, I wouldn’t have doubted you for a second.

      But then, I’m old now—42—and I can’t tell all these newfangled musical performers apart. “We Are Young” won Best Song at the Grammys? Didn’t Pat Benatar sing that 30 years ago?

  9. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Maybe she thought it was Instagramma

  10. USDA Prime McBeef

    I thought the elderly were frightened and confused by the internet.

    • Inner Retard

      No just in Soviet Russia it is the internet that is frightened and confused by Madonna.

    • You’re thinking of cavemen, Doc. Although that still applies in Madonna’s case.

      Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I’m just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW…and run off into the hills, or wherever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: “Did little demons get inside and type it?” I don’t know! My primitive mind can’t grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know: when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you.

  11. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    My grandma used to drink her Geritol out of a martini glass too.

  12. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Hello, lunch. Nice to see you again.

  13. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Low quality photo of some hairy granny tits. Ok, I’ve got that crossed off my bucket list, next up: wash eyes out with bleach

  14. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    She’s so old she has an armpit waddle

  15. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    as sexy as a sweaty womans 50 year old neck with its vein bugging out thats topped off by an opened mouth hairy jaw.

  16. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Please, please, please let the be antifreeze.

  17. Michael_D

    Seriously, can we get a #NIGHTMAREFUEL warning the next time?

  18. Nikkinakki

    I thought it was Montgomery Burns in the flesh.

  19. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Shouldn’t there be the blood of virgins in there?

  20. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Looks like Mr. Burns is doing drag again.

  21. tom

    So the mother of all attention whores has just subscribed a Verizon data plan.

  22. Ladyfrank

    And these pictures are the good ones!

  23. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Well, I’m glad to see Zsa-Zsa is on the mend enough to get out of the house for drink or two.

  24. I did not know that Mr. Burns from the Simpsons had gotten married!

  25. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
    Edvard Munch
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    Hmm, so many people are clouded in delusion. All (most) woman think that their boobs are tickets into anything and showing them will get you into the White House. Women, most of your boobs are gross and disgusting, please don’t show them to me. Madonna seems to think she is still attractive and nobody can tell her that. Anyone that has access will be fired if they do and she probably doesn’t read or watch TV to escape the truth. So, to summarize, girls your boobs are probably weird looking and you shouldn’t think, just because they are large, they are attractive. And finally, Madonna is gross. Oh, I’m aware my junk probably looks gross. But, maybe its awesome!

  26. I am officially scared. Also thought this was GaGa at first, still not sure it is not.

  27. I suspect Madonna has spent an extraordinary amount of time with her face in that pose, although it wasn’t a martini she was sipping.

  28. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    That isn’t NEARLY enough “wet” to be what she is obviously intending it to be seen as. What a fucking bitch.

  29. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Wow! Mr. Burns is a real person? I thought he was just a character on the Simpsons.

  30. logan

    Yea, we see ya. Now back to the home.
    I see a little Madonna left, but not much.

  31. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    The shimmer of the glass looks like a caulk.

  32. richie

    Having just looked death in the eye, I now want to live a better life.

  33. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    She’s drinking a soul.

  34. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
    Feral B
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    Oh, THERE’S that bloody grail!

  35. The Betty Page do does not flatter her.

  36. inkydink

    I thought this dried up old hag didn’t drink? DOES SHE KNOW DRINKING WILL MAKE HER LOOK OLDER? EGADS HEAVEN FORBID!

  37. How can we submit our article

  38. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    She looks horrible.

  39. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
    the crazy betty
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    clean pores.

  40. Madonna Cleavage Instagram
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    Ewwww granny boobs !

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