Madonna’s Rep: ‘She’ll Hate Hydrangeas Until The Seas Run Red With Blood!’

September 7th, 2011 // 80 Comments

Yesterday, footage of Madonna accepting hydrangeas in the bitchiest way possible showed up on every single website on the Internet. While the logical thing to do in her situation is just let the whole thing blow over because there’s no denying she looks like an asshole, Madonna decided to go the complete opposite direction and have her rep say she has every right to piss in a man’s face for attempting to be polite because apparently the K in Kabbalah stands for Kollusal Kunts, Kaptain. CNN reports:

“She’s entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world,” the rep said in a short statement. “No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.”

“She also wishes for me to point at the ground, causing it to burst into flames, however, her excellency forgets I’m not versed in her dark arts. I mean, shit, did I say forget? She forgets nothing! MADONNA IS ALL-SEEING! Ah, fuck, I’m getting turned into a newt again.”

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Emillio Estevez, Jr.

    I’ve heard Satan / Beelezebub also has an extreme dislike for Hydrangeas.
    He deal with the devil must also include hating things the Devil hates.
    I’ve heard that she can turn back the clock one month for every soul she confines permanently in Hades

  2. dontkillthemessenger

    Her hatred of hydrangeas is only surpassed by my hatred of the blind man who made that outfit.

  3. Marley

    Still confused by the accent.

  4. Lucille

    In the not-so-distant future, that old sack of collagen will be pining for flowers of ANY kind from ANYONE.

  5. Frank Burns

    Like most guys, I read this and wonder “what the hell is a hydrangea?” before quickly realizing I don’t care and that madonna is unattractive.

  6. In the future I will give her a bouquet of dog shit and box full of my own diarrhea frozen and molded into little bite sized pieces.

  7. Edgar Pethick-Lawrence

    She is looking for the pineal gland of young men as it contains a substance which has a long , intense high . Also , she enjoys martini’s made with the tears of homeless orphans afterwards for refreshment

    • Karreem White

      She feasts on the pineal glands of young men , then drinks their ‘essence ‘ , as it’s thought to be the elixir of youth . I think she’s not drinking the ‘essence’ correctly or maybe she should get them to spoooge first before she kills them and removes the pineal gland

    • Harding Cady Stanton

      She will take her martinis with the tears of dying orphans too . Actually she just enjoys any kind of tears in her martinis, as long as it’s not too salty

  8. Tom

    So, hydrangeas could be used to thwart her, like garlic or silver bullets. Noted!

    • Jalleel Black

      Her Dark Lord commands her to only appreciate flowers that have his imprimatur , such as Nightshade

  9. Indie

    She has quite an affected accent, sounds like posh English, like from upper class people in Britain. So she’s putting that on, which means she’s a twat.

  10. Lamarr Odom gave hydrangeas to Khloe. She just ate them.

  11. Crabby Old Guy

    “And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave.” Or crypt – as the case may be.

  12. Hugh Beaumont

    I’m glad she serves the Dark Lord . I don’t want her on my team .

  13. zomgbie

    so hydrangeas on the doors and windows will keep madonna away.
    but what will keep us safe from sarah jessica parker?

  14. Madonna
    Old Fart
    Commented on this photo:

    Madge is an even bigger load of crap than Obama!

  15. Old Fart

    Madge is an even bigger fool than Obama.

  16. It is my only hope that somewhere people are plotting to send her a truckload of hydrangeas.

  17. Cock Dr

    “She’s entitled to like any flower she wants”
    Bitch had better keep away from MY flower garden.

  18. Billy Barty , Jr

    She has all of her mirrors covered in gauze . She forbids any picture newer than 1982 of her in her presence

  19. Carolyn

    She is ugly now, has always been ugly. Look at those hands. Think of them roaming over the skin of her young boyfriend.(s)

  20. Mr Obvious

    Look, she’s just angry that AARP turned her down for membership.

  21. Jack Ketch

    And who, exactly, gives a flying FUCK what kind of flowers this stuck-up, phoney, entitled bitch likes ? Who ???

  22. myers

    I suspect she will be getting Hydrangeas a lot after this. At least I hope that there is enough hilarious people to do it every time they see her.

  23. kimmykimkim

    I can’t wait til she dies. Not only will it be wonderful because she’s dead but it will also be a wonderful time for me to make my first trip to England just so I can leave 50 dozen hydrangeas at the gate to her estate. Oh the excitement!

    I wonder how she feels about oleanders.

  24. kim

    Everyone is talking about her and the flowers; am I the only one that noticed her fake English accent.

  25. blow off

    She’s getting so much free PR from this. I bet she wished she thought of this before.

  26. Madonna
    Delusional Faux News Devotee
    Commented on this photo:

    Waaaaaa waaaaa waaaa! Bottom line, Bush’s fake war on a country that had nothing do with 9/11 is the reason we are in this mess. Obama’s biggest fault is that he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to the nation’s mentally ill (sky goblin followers) and do what needs to be done. Maybe because he is MORE like you people than you want to admit.

  27. Madonna
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Why didn’t you get more pictures from the Pimp n’ Ho Ball?

  28. Madonna
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “And that’s where Sean punched out a photographer. It was so romantic…”

  29. kris

    ya well i hate poverty and hate that there are homeless dogs. but no its ok, madonna. you absolutely HATE hydrangeas.

    priorities, bitch.

  30. CL

    Translation: She was afraid to be upstaged by a beautiful flower.

  31. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    She can be as Kabballah as she wants, at the end of the day, she’s just uneducated white trash from Michigan.

    • BrandiLye

      At some time or another she heard that from somebody else and has been trying to prove them wrong ever since. Anyone else would be embarrassed as crap to be seen as so freaking transparent. Not that one….

    • Venom

      Actually she is educated, she went to the University of Michigan.

      • StaceFace

        Yeah, on a DANCE scholarship. Oddly enough, the alumni association never brings her up as a former student as a selling point. We are all kinda embarassed about her here in Michigan.

      • Venom

        Why are you embarrassed about her?
        She is one of the richest and most successful people ever to attend Michigan.
        I am Michigan alumnus and personally I have never heard anyone claim they were embarrassed about her.
        People either generally don’t care too much or are mildly intrigued she went there, but not embarrassed at all.

        Quite frankly if there was anyone to be embarrassed about it would be the criminal billionaire Alfred Taubman.

  32. what do you want? she's a cunt

    Her Highness is an ungreatfull bitch, and it would serve her right if she died pennyless and alone.

  33. De Vo

    What a Bitch !!! She loathes them ??? It’s not like she has to tie it on and wear the damn thing. It’s a symbol of kindness who cares WTF it is. The guy could probably give a shit or even expected her to toss it 20 min later. I guess the only thing that will impress the dark one is a well hung native boy. People think she’s hooking up with these young men but…. she’s growing them. Next time instead of a flower give her a well hung native boy and she will shine like the sun!!

  34. hapapap

    Cucking Funt!

  35. gumption

    I like how the rep half apologizes for hurting the flower’s feelings but what about the ol’ chap kind enough to present her with flowers? Is that not the point, the gesture of kindness? Should she not apologize to him?! I really can’t stand this 2 cent whore and her Zionist loving fake ass. And you are not English you cunt! Im with you kimmykim and will water the flowers you leave with my “Special English Tea”, I drink tea and it comes out special just for Madonna.

  36. dontlooknow

    Yeah, I hate madonnas and if I got one, I’d throw it undre the table….

  37. Dude of Dudes

    One does not simply walk in Mordor and hand Madonna hydrangeas.

  38. TheListener

    So let me see if I can get this straight. She accepted the hydrangeas because she did not want to hurt ITS feelings, but she couldn’t have cared less about hurting the feelings of the fan who gave her the flowers. Either this is a joke and she’s trying to be funny (which I hope is the case) or Madonna’s an egocentric lunatic. Admittedly, it’s kind of hard to tell with her statement.

  39. Mandy

    This statement is almost as offensive as Madonna’s reaction to the flowers. The problem isn’t that she doesn’t like the flowers – the problem is that she mocked a fan right behind their back because they didn’t memorize her favourite flowers. Not only is Madonna a brat, but it seems her rep is too!

  40. JoJojojo

    Who the hell “loathes” hydrangeas? Or any flower? Evil, that’s who.

  41. forrest gump

    psssst: SHE HAS THE HANDS OF AN ALZHEIMER PATIENT OF 74 YEARS OLD, folks!!

  42. Koko

    I can’t wait to throw a bucket of hydrangeas on her casket when she dies.

  43. Haddo01

    Her rep kind of missed the point…

  44. Sid

    Damn! She’s fat! I didn’t realize she was British.

  45. CranAppleSnapple

    God she’s a cunt.
    The point is Bitch, you were rude to say something nasty when you were given a gift. It matters not that you have “a right to like any flower you want”. You are an ungrateful whore. -(delivered in a sarcastic, slow, baby voice. Then I’ll punch her bony face in.)

  46. right

    look at her hands- tales of the crypt.

  47. ‘She’ll Hate Hydrangeas Until The Seas Run Red With Blood!’ Sounds like she’s planning to take up a hobby.

  48. Madonna
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking at the cuffs of her pants, we now know what Madonkey gave the kid for a snack on the flight.

  49. Madonna
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I understand why she’s stocking up on kids!

  50. Venom

    Can you imagine how all sorts of fucked up she is?

    I mean the constant trying to date children, and adopt even younger children.

    The fake accent is the best though. Bitch you are from Bay City Michigan, anyone who has been to Bay City knows that place exudes a lot, mainly the nasty smell of sugar beets, but certainly not class.
    It is like she is on a constant quest to prove herself to people and I have no idea why, she is one of the top performers ever and she is worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

    The men she has dated/married, women she has dated, the SEX book, etc etc. I can’t imagine what life around her is like.

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