“The harbinger of hydrangeas has been fed to the hellhounds, my dark queen, and the fiery sword of Galgatha stands ready to mete out vengeance for this transgression. Also, Guy Ritchie called. Something about Rocco’s retainer. I honestly never understand half his Cockney talk.”
For those of you just tuning into the Internet, a video of Madonna receiving hydrangeas as a gift – Which she hates by the way and apparently everyone should be privy to this fact. – from a reporter at the Venice Film Festival has been making the rounds mostly because the Death-Armed One demonstrates why she’s not friends with Gwyneth Paltrow anymore: They’re the same fucking person. Seriously, never in your life will you see such disdain for a kind, simple gesture that had the audacity to not be her exact floral preference. Needless to say, that guy’s kid got snatched last night and now lives in a belltower with a cartoon chipmunk. Featuring music by Elton John!