‘Who Dares Bring Madonna Hydrangeas?!’

September 6th, 2011 // 97 Comments

“The harbinger of hydrangeas has been fed to the hellhounds, my dark queen, and the fiery sword of Galgatha stands ready to mete out vengeance for this transgression. Also, Guy Ritchie called. Something about Rocco’s retainer. I honestly never understand half his Cockney talk.”

For those of you just tuning into the Internet, a video of Madonna receiving hydrangeas as a gift – Which she hates by the way and apparently everyone should be privy to this fact. – from a reporter at the Venice Film Festival has been making the rounds mostly because the Death-Armed One demonstrates why she’s not friends with Gwyneth Paltrow anymore: They’re the same fucking person. Seriously, never in your life will you see such disdain for a kind, simple gesture that had the audacity to not be her exact floral preference. Needless to say, that guy’s kid got snatched last night and now lives in a belltower with a cartoon chipmunk. Featuring music by Elton John!

Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Karri

    Wow what a b****

  2. Jezebel

    He should have known better. Her preferred gift is impoverished black children from developing nations. Hydrangeas? No, she’ll take Habikas, Hadiyas, Haibas, and Hanzilas.

  3. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Debbie Harry but with added terrifying

  4. The Presidential Mother-in-law

    Corporate jet owner!

  5. stratacat

    HA! the look on her face at :07 is awesome. that’s the most genuine she’s appeared in decades.

  6. DogBoy

    Old age is a bitch. I bet she sends her lunch back everytime cuz its overcooked.

  7. Tinklepants Astronaut

    Wow, I didn’t know the Face of Boh was at the Venice Film Festival – was there a Doctor Who movie or something?


  8. She is the cuntiest cuntsack in all of cuntville.

  9. Satan's bitch

    Unless the damn flower bush ate your firstborn or killed your mama, I honestly don’t see how one can “loathe” a flower…

    • kimmykimkim

      No shit, right? That’s like loathing kittens or puppies. Fucking kittens? I hate them with their sweet, innocent, high pitched cries and their teeny-tiny claws! Fuck!! And fucking puppies, the way they play around all the time. Chasing their own fucking tails. Fallin down on slippery floors, their skunky breath that’s so rank its practically delicious! I HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!

  10. Alex


  11. Jack Ketch

    Jesus, could there BE any more fillers in her face ? It looks like Play Doh, for fuck’s sake !!

    • What is it with celebs and their fillers? I used to work for a plastic surgeon, and people would come in with photos of Madonna wanting to look like her. I just don’t get why anybody would willingly pay thousands to look like an angry, stuffed turkey.

      • Jack Ketch

        In a vain and fruitless attempt to look 25 again ? I never found her remotely attractive, even when she WAS young … very average, if that. Also, mediocre talent … she just knew how to market herself is all. The chicken cutlet cheek implants crack me up. I’m with you … don’t get why so many women pay thousands to have tits that look like bolted-on grapefruit halves, lol. Her hands and arms (likewise with Priscilla Presley) look like those of a velociraptor while the face looks “young” ? Or at least THEY think it does … meanwhile, they have trouble talking due to implant and botox overload.

  12. Holland

    The reporter should have known she only appreciates gifts of toned men in their twenties, who act like they can’t wait to get in on with her

  13. Banastre Trent - Wordsworth

    She probably didn’t read the fine print on her contract with satan. He can change her appearance at his whim , artificially change aspects of her face , morph her however he wants for his own amusement , while giving her everlasting life .
    Probably should have read the contract with more attention to the details

  14. You’d think one of her gay minions would be all over that flower faux pas.

  15. Jillia

    Good Lord she has more filler in her face than Lindsay has coke in her purse! It doesn’t look TOO bad, but no one’s face looks that bloated and smooth after 50 (naturally).

  16. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    this grandma should stop trying looking young, it just sad…, and should start learn from helen mirren…

  17. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    *looked – correction =b

  18. Ranish

    I bet hydrangeas hate her even more.

  19. Alixia

    I don’t ENJOY calling 53 year old women cunts, but she is a cunt!

  20. glassman

    She behaved well, at least, well enough. She thanked him and even allowed that the gesture, although not well researched, was appreciated and the mistake was likely due to ignorance, not intent. She likely could have kept her aside to herself, but who’s perfect. Much ado about nothing.

  21. Donald Trump

    What a lousy piece of shit! How dare she?
    This woman always was and still is a miserable piece of shit.

  22. Swearin

    So, what is up with her accent? I never understood that. Does she force herself to talk like that or does her mind actually think she’s British?

    • anon

      lol. she’s from what, Chicago? Detroit? Lots of loathin’ going on there….

      I feel bad for her kids. Imagine the pressure to please her!

  23. MJB

    @Cock Dr: Yeah, I think anyone who achieves great fame and fortune has to be cutthroat and, therefore, arrogant and insensitive. There are rare exceptions.
    I’ve heard it been said that people who age the best are the ones who take care of themselves and who are happy and nice. With all her fillers, botox, chemical peels, etc., she looks like a BAD 53 or even older. No matter how much she exercises and eats specially prepared food, she still looks like a haggy Maleficent. For all her claims of “spirituality,” she still hasn’t grown up.

    • marie

      @MJB…AMEN! You read my mind. Best response Ive read about her yet. She really needs to get over herself…as do most celebs. When they can perform heart or brain surgery or save someone’s life by putting thiers on the line like too many who are underpaid and under appreciated then put on the airs.

    • bitingontinfoil

      @MJB: There’s a saying you have two faces – the one you’re born with and the one you earn with how you live your life. You’re absolutely right, she’s a narcissistic, cold control freak and it SHOWS!

  24. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Cattrall?

  25. Tom

    She’s famous for being a cunt. She was always an arrogant cunt. Now, she’s an ugly old cunt, so we’re not inclined to let her off the hook for her cuntish cuntiness.

  26. NTT

    It’s a tragic day when a menopausal pop star accidentally admits to the world that she’s jealous of a fresh-cut flower.

  27. gone gaga


  28. Deacon Jones

    Somewhere Anthony Kiedis just popped wood.

    We should really get those two together for dinner or something.

  29. Findley

    Eww. How rude. Glad her “film” is TRASHED. And that faux British accent…

  30. Dan

    Seriously, what a bitch.

    And what’s wrong with hydrangeas? I think the are really nice!

  31. She’s staring, directing and producing a new movie “The Pudge.”

  32. katy perry's swollen anus

    Nice cheek implants, cunt.

  33. kimmykimkim

    Are we talking ’70′s Elton here? Cuz that’s some good shit.

  34. Ranish

    She looks like the freaking cryptkeeper.

  35. General Disarray

    What a cuntbag. If I had the money I’d send her a fucking dump truck full of Hydrangeas.
    And who the fuck adopts an accent? Seriously, the bitch moves to the U.K. and all of a sudden she’s a local? My girlfriend’s parents moved to this country like 40 years ago and they still have a foreign accent as thick as the day they got here but this hack becomes British in record time. Yeah, that’s realistic.

  36. foxhunter

    Wow what a world class bitch! Although I prefer my hydrangeas in the ground on the New England coast, classy broad rule # 3 is to always accept gifts graciously. You only get to roll your eyes and bitch about it later, behind closed doors like a real lady ;)

  37. Ah, Madonkey!!! As always, the perfect role model for self-important cuntbag wannabes!!!

  38. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    Angela Lansbury?

  39. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    Still working the “Like A Prayer” angle after all these years.

  40. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    Yumm! Velociraptor arms. Sssssexy!

  41. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck You Madonna you cranky old BITCH!! You suck you fucking man-whore, get over yourself CUNT!

  42. BieberzNext

    OMG-the queen has spoketh-is she breaking from the kabbalah/yoga/charity crap she uses for a cover to appear loving, aside from another possible failure in film, she is “caught” showing her true colors here, her “friends” squander millions, supposedly going to help poor female orphans, the clothes she sells are made in sweat shops by Chinese factory workers. She uses/abuses homosexuals to subjugate them, infringes on artists work and the art community to rape in profit. What an inspiration to the world and culture, a celebraton of all we cherish, Lady Gagadonna, American Icon.
    Remember it took the F.B.I to find out how much money was missing from her charity operations. Has anybody realized yet, how gullible, innocent and brainwashed her “fans” are?

  43. The Witchfinder General

    Tis a well-known principle that hydrangeas wilt in the presence of a witch. Naturally, consorts of the Devil would react with apprehension at the appearance of such diviners of witchery.

  44. How ironic that she loathes a flower that some believe reflects vanity and boastfulness.

  45. Elle

    I absolutely loathe fake British accents, she obviously isn’t aware of that.

  46. Elle

    I’m actually more surprised at the fact that her face is able to show emotion.

  47. Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas
    Commented on this photo:

    all those who laugh should apply for a job with her managing her charity accounts, her friends did and look, millions is squandered in Malawi.

  48. Josh

    What a c*nt…!

  49. JMC

    Gasp! Madonna can be… a bitch? Nothing new here but she delivered the line candidly and in a playful cheeky manner. This is part of her charm, her bitchy egomaniacal charm.

  50. Koko

    She acted like someone gave her a bouquet of dirty diapers. Seriously, go fuk yourself. What a bitch!

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