Madonna Broke Up With That Kid

THE DARK QUEEN TAKES AND LEAVES LOVERS AS SHE SEES FIT. That’s all the information you need, insolent whelp. The Weekly of Us reports:

This pop legend is on the market again! Madonna has split from her boyfriend Brahim Zaibat after three years of dating, the singer’s rep confirms to Us Weekly.
“It ran its course,” a source tells Us. “They were dancing and working together all the time and then they barely saw each other.”

If you read this next part as Madonna’s banging Sean Penn again, you’re doing it all wrong:

News of the split comes just weeks after the “Material Girl” singer was photographed reuniting with her ex-husband Sean Penn in Haiti to help with the J/P Haitian Relief Organization following the area’s 2010 earthquake. The exes were also joined by Madonna’s son Rocco, 13 (her son with her second husband, Guy Ritchie).

I’ll put this in the simplest terms possible, so that even the lowliest among us will know to flee with his family should the sound of leather wings and sharpened talons pierce the night air:

What is the source of Madonna’s power? The blood of poor brown children.
What does Haiti have a lot of? Poor brown children.

Let the Council of Meldok record what has happened here this day.

Photos: INFdaily