Madonna Has An ‘Anti-Aging Machine’
What you’re looking at is Madonna’s Intraceuticals machine, an anti-aging device she reportedly has with her at all times in case she ages 10 years on the way to Starbucks. Except what’s really bizarre is that she actually allowed it to be photographed in public, alerting everyone that her sorcery can no longer compete with human technology. Unless, of course, that’s what she wants us to think and I just wasted all afternoon building an electric trident to lunge through her heart. Damn your black trickery!