Macaulay Culkin not crazy. Or so he says.

March 7th, 2006 // 37 Comments

*macaulay_is_sad.jpgHome Alone star Macaulay Culkin fears that his forthcoming semi-autobiographical novel might cause readers to think he’s insane. Culkin is urging fans not to read too much into his new book Junior. He says, “I hope people don’t think I’m crazy, because I’m not.” Culkin decided to write the book when he found himself struggling to find acting jobs, but writing it turned him into somewhat of a recluse. He adds, “I’ve led a very isolated existence since I was six years old. It’s kind of been me and my mind.”

You’d think Macaulay would just be happy that anyone is thinking about him without 1) pity, 2) masturbating furiously. Even if he is crazy, no one would worry, because he’s about as dangerous as a bag of crazy marshmallows. Although Michael Jackson would tell you he tastes better.

superficial

  1. Akapee

    1st comment

  2. rori

    and such a deep and insightful first comment it was.

  3. PURPLE_GURL

    i cant imagine what he’d put in there to make us believe hes crazy but if you’ve watched the movie “Saved!” its pretty clear he’s running out of acting jobs. i’ll read it just to see what exactly makes him seem crazy and unless it includes him walking a imaginary dog or eating his family members one by one its probably not as bad as it sounds.

  4. Tracie

    Oh, Superficial, I Love You!
    “Even if he is crazy, no one would worry, because he’s about as dangerous as a bag of crazy marshmellows. Although Michael Jackson would tell you he tastes better.”
    Priceless, just priceless!

  5. Sister Morphine

    Wait, Macauley Culkin is still relevant? What year is this, 1993?

  6. garth marenghi

    i guess he loves being home alone

  7. Kristen?

    It’s spelled marshmallow.

  8. gogoboots

    I can’t wait till he admits he’s a speed freak too like Jodi Sweetin…it’s gonna be SWEET…like a marshmallow…get it?!!?

  9. antispace

    Yeah Culkin will have to do speed like Jodie because none of the has-beens have enough money to buy cocaine.

  10. brewerpatriot

    It’s too bad that MJ got him to drink his jizz juice (it sounds like he says “Jesus” juice, but only because Michael’s so soft spoken). Now, picture Jackson filling a can of Pepsi with that stuff — you bulimics in the crowd can thank me later for helping you purge. Oh, and McCaulay is crazy.

  11. CheekyChops

    I thought he was a gay heroine addict. No?

  12. Who’s going to read this book. i won’t.

  13. Don'tPanic

    Why does Mila Kunis fuck this guy? He’s afraid that people will mistake him for crazy because of a book HE wrote. Gee, maybe you could have taken it easy on the ‘crazy’ angle. I mean it was totally up to you idiot.

  14. Alosha

    the only reason I am tempted not to believe he is totally fucking retarded or crazy (even when he defended MJ) is because he is dating mila kunis. mila kunis = smart = family guy. so I try, try, try to believe he’s decent… though they are both potheads for sure.

  15. popcornsuite

    I totally agree with #4.

    “Even if he is crazy, no one would worry, because he’s about as dangerous as a bag of crazy marshmellows. Although Michael Jackson would tell you he tastes better.”

    Buurrrrrrrrnnn!

  16. LOOKWHATICANDO

    I mean there has got to be roles out there for him, If Paris Whoretin, can get a acting job, Im sure he can. I wish him well at any rate.

  17. Kimmie

    Here we go with bashing Michael again. He is NOT GUILTY and the court said so. I wish people would stop being rascists and hating Michael because he is a black man in America.

    The Home Alone movies were fun and I hope Maccauly can do some other good movies or a TV show.

  18. cazz

    #17 – give it up!! Why do these people read sites such as these? It’s called ‘the superficial’ – and it’s what we turn to when we want to BE superficial – Geddit??

    So take your MJ worshipping someplace else – nobody cares here, he’s a kiddie-fiddler, end of.

    And what??!!!! ‘…because he is a black man in America’?? What the hell is that supposed to mean? to even THINK that this would be the reason why people hate him is bordering – no, scratch that – is just shitting ridiculous. IT’S BECAUSE HE FIDDLES WITH KIDS!

    Just out of interest, is ‘Kimmie’ the very same one as that of Full House fame?

    Get superficial or Get Out!

    I don’t know… on reflection, is Kimmie’s comment meant to be sarcastic? Is my sarcasm detector failing me? Is #17 a silly prank and I’ve misread and overeacted?

  19. GinAndTonic

    Sorry, Kimmie, but that logic just doesn’t hold up. Everyone knows that Michael Jackson is a white (fe?)male.

  20. gogoboots

    there’s this film called Party Monster that he was in which is how his book probably sounds like. wasn’t he married at like 17?

  21. edmont

    oh lord who let the idiot Kimmie on this site??? You moron does MJ look like a black man to you??? Take your junior high self outa here and stop trying to ruin our fun..bugger off!

  22. Maeve97

    sorry. i love macaulay. i love him in the way that i love all the kids that were in goonies. he reminds me of when i was a kid. my friend lani can quote all macaulay culkin movies (not like there’s a lot of them). go kevin! go kid from uncle buck! go kid from the good son!

  23. tits_on_snack

    Kimmie is a fake login name. At first I actually thought it was some retarded celeb-worshiping bitch, but the more I read her posts, the more it just sounds like somebody who’s become bored with The Superficial and is simply trying to piss everyone off for their own entertainment, by acting like an idiot.

  24. hafaball

    He was good in that movie where he was a flaming homosexual…too good. But at least he has kept his mind busy, busy from shooting people from a tower.

  25. Wombat

    Kimmie, don’t blow your nose, you might loose more of what is left of your brain

  26. Anonymous

    You know, I’ve never even seen any of Macaulay’s films (I don’t like films in which children are the main characters), so I’m not a fan of his at all. Yet, I sympathize with him. Actually, I feel bad for him. It’s not like he’s a spoiled childhood actor or some talentless spoiled whore like Paris Hilton. I think he’s led a very, very weird life–one that is filled with some unsavory characters. I definitely wouldn’t characterize him as crazy–of course, I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist–but I would imagine his very unusual childhood and teenage years and the weirdos who are constantly in his life must somehow affect him psychologically.

  27. xaputa

    #17: to dear poser Kimmie

    you wrote:
    “The Home Alone movies were fun and I hope Maccauly can do some other good movies or a TV show.”

    I defended you in another story because your comment…almost looked legit for a brainless brat. But this is just bad acting. Stop it.

  28. ESQ

    Anyone that portrays Michael Alig in “Party Monster” has got to be a little touched.

    BTW, Kimmie that person sounds like a guy for you.

    In reponse to #23 – “tits_on_sack” – I love your name and your post is so right on.

  29. velvet_morning

    I love Macaulay.
    I will read this book regardless of how crazy he might be!
    Someone suggested he doesn’t have money anymore? This is pretty untrue, I’ve read a quote from him stating he wouldn’t have to work another day in his life and his children will still go to college. I’d believe it.

  30. o-n

    I’m more impressed by how he’s somehow managed to look 10 years old for 15 years straight.

  31. mamacita

    WEBMASTER-#17-TROLL ALERT

    Whether you’re pretending in order to annoy everyone, or you really are just that stupid, please just stop posting!!!! You make me want to get medieval on yo ass.

  32. Mr. Fritz

    I agree with #18 (cazz). Hey, maybe Kimmie is just trying to work everyone’s nerves and purposely commenting like a mildly retarded teenage girl. If she is serious, (which I doubt), she must have eaten paint chips as a child.

  33. Call me crazy, but if you have to state disclaimers such as, “I hope people don’t think I’m crazy”, you in fact are crazy.

  34. outfile

    dude kimmie is totally pulling your tail. his comments are funny. your bullshit detector is fucked up.

  35. I think Tommy is a big asshole I want Axl to win. He is amazing and cool. A true idiot is Tommy jajajaja

  36. drugs drugs drugs drugs gimmi some drugs!

  37. Tom Barlow

    Has anyone mentioned that he has the most incredibly attractive girlfriend, Mila Kunis. How on earth did a crazy, drug-riddled low-life end up with a smart, beautiful, talented girl like her. I find it impossible to feel sorry for him, but very easy to feel sorry for her.

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