Macaulay Culkin is Blanket’s father?

August 31st, 2009 // 54 Comments

Macaulay Culkin’s penis may have provided the sperm that led to Prince Michael Jackson II being birthed by a surrogate and immediately collected by Michael Jackson’s lawyers. The Sun reports:

Now sources close to Jackson say the Thriller star asked Culkin for the donation to help him complete his “perfect” family.
The source added: “This isn’t just chitter-chatter, even Culkin suspects he’s Blanket’s father. So many names have been mentioned as prospective dads, and this is probably the wackiest yet. But Jackson and Culkin were best friends. He was one of the few people Jackson really trusted and Mack never let him down. Really, Jackson idolised him – that’s why he asked Mack to donate sperm. Deep down, I think he always wished Mack was his son. Creating Blanket was the next best thing.”
Culkin – godfather to Jacko’s other two children – has told pals he will not comment in public out of loyalty to his late pal.

I’m almost afraid to ask, but when was the sperm donated? Because I’m having a hard time believing it was collected within a year of Blanket’s birth in 2002. Like Michael Jackson would want the sperm of a legal, fully grown Macaulay Culkin. Ha! Good one, Sun. You crazy jokers.

superficial

  1. Que

    Que holy *bleep*.

  2. That One

    FAIL!

  3. Adrienne

    *looks into the mirror and screams* AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

  4. hey

    who is he?

  5. ibestevie

    Sounds plausible. MJ just pretended to swallow. Then he put the donation in a turkey baster.

  6. ROUGH before dishonor

    I would love to be a witness during the sperm request of an underage boy…

    Story is bogus, “Blanket” doesn’t look like she has fire coming out of her nostrils…

  7. Aunt Jemima

    Blanket = homo alone.

  8. Katie

    Umm.. correct me if I’m wrong, but if Macaulay Culkin is the godfather, shouldn’t he get the kids?

  9. HeyHey

    Quick, we’ve got to send it back where it came from!
    Michaeljackson, Michaeljackson, Michaeljackson!

  10. Truth

    Hey Idiots, Blanket is an Indian child. As in East Asian Indian, just like Hapu.

    Zero chance McCauley Culkin is his father.

    One hundred percent chance Culkin was raped by Jackson, though.

  11. Hecubus

    Update – It’s also been confirmed that Culkin provided the sperm that led to Michael’s smooth vocal tone on the Earth song.

  12. Ariella

    I don’t believe this.
    It’s from the same magazine that reported that Eddie Murphy is going to be The Riddler in the next Batman movie along with Megan Fox as Catwoman.
    Not a very reliable source, in my opinion.

  13. LG

    @9
    No. “Godfather” isn’t any sort of legal arrangement or relationship.

  14. Truth

    Actually, godfather is a legal relationship.

    Its a documented Catholic baptismal report, though in Jackson’s case its probably just make believe.

  15. Hilton Hunter

    How many people donated sperm to Jackson over the years? And how many samples did he guzzle down during cocaine binges?

  16. Courageous

    Anything is possible… I mean Micheal’s parents are black and look at them… And even if Blanket does look Indian, that could be because of his mom, not his dad. MJ kept so many secrets and told so many lies that it is impossible to know the truth even now. The fact is, whoever the real father(s) of his three children is/are, they no longer have any legal standing, just as in any other adoption/surrogacy/sperm donation. MJs mother now has legal custody, regardless of how ridiculous that seems. Hopefully they are actually raised by on of MJs sisters, who are young enough to care for them through to adulthood.

    And now you have… my two cents worth!!!! ‘nuf said!

  17. Phil

    Damn, that Michael Jackson was one fucked up dude, chick or whatever the fuck he was.

  18. Phil

    Come to think of it, his fans are pretty fucked up, too.

  19. Randall

    What are the odds that Macauly made that screaming face as Michael lubed up and slammed his arm elbow deep into his cornhole.

    Randall

  20. Randall

    What are the odds that Macauly made that screaming face as Michael lubed up and slammed his arm elbow deep into his cornhole.

    Randall

  21. Randall

    What are the odds that Macauly made that screaming face as Michael lubed up and slammed his arm elbow deep into his cornhole.

    Randall

  22. Sam

    Please please please let this be true, I’ll give up my firstborn for this to be true. I just want absolutely everything about Jackson to be weird to the bitter end

  23. John

    Is no one else creeped out by the guy who looks like Christopher Lloyd wearing Michael Keaton’s Beetlejuice ensemble?

  24. Darth

    Looks like he was pretty fanatic in collecting sperm.

  25. Galtacticus

    He was just like the Cuckoo bird.Laying their eggs in the nests of other birds.

  26. sharon H

    Jesus, did I miss something or what? Didn’t Michael Jackson have any sperm of his own????????????????????????

  27. ds

    How did they get Michael’s saliva out of the sperm before they turkey basted it?

  28. Is it wrong for a man like him to have sugar baby?? you know it is an

    absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services c ome

    out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship..like

    http://www.Sugarloves.Com what will the world be??

  29. UPinYA

    MJ’s death was a ploy to collect D.N.A from every single American so the government can do bad things with it.

  30. Phucker

    It’s easy to see that those kids are in no way related to Wacko Jacko. Blonde Hair and Browns eyes are not common among the African people.

  31. WHAT THE EwwwWWww ???!!!!

  32. GTBurns

    Given the fact that wacko jacko was coo coo for Culkin puffs, it is highly plauible that he had Mac make a milkshake for the vagina monster. just so he could create some sort of Mac Clone for him.

    This is all based on the fact that Michael was batshit insane.

  33. sweets

    oh sweet mary of god poor child

  34. sweets

    oh sweet mary of god poor child

  35. GG1000

    What is the MATTER with you people, Superfish? Why has no one lined up some pictures of those kids and done some ethnic analysis? We need a picture of a young Debbie Rowe next to one of Paris (Believable, the resemblance is pretty strong, actually) but Rowe is extremely fair, and Paris has a touch of some color…is it subcontinental, Hispanic, black? We need experts speculating! We need more pictures!

    Look at the youngest and look at Caulkin. Unless the mother was Sri Lankan or something, no way.

  36. MJ needed some Mila Kunis. That would have fixed everything.

  37. @ 7 – Blanket is 100% dude. Don’t dis the Blanket.

  38. Who is he? He is looking just like dumb. Totally worthless i have to say . I just can’t believe this .

  39. That is crazy. I have never heard that before. Hmmm, they look like Michael though not a blonde white kid. Hmmm I will have to ponder this for awhile.
    Snuggie

  40. Katie

    Do you people actually believe this stuff? Come on now, you really think MACAULAY CULKIN of all peole is Blanket’s actual father? It’s really very highly unlikely. And have none of you noticed how Blanket looks like MJ? Seriously, look at Blanket. Really look at him. I see Michael in him. I don’t
    know who the mother is… no one does yet, but I definitely see MJ. I don’t see ANY of Macaulay in him. Most kids have a resemblence of both parents. Besides, why can’t any of you stop bagging on MJ? Seriously, is it so hard to believe he could have been innocent and that his children were really his? Come on already, give the poor guy a break already! He still gets crap spoken about him when he’s DEAD? That’s low. I hope you guys who say crap about him are content with yourselves because really; that’s just sad. R.I.P. Michael. I hope he
    knows some people care about him and aren’t stupid idiots.

  41. jackie

    why are you guys so bosy!!!!!! just leave micheal and his personal bisness alone! got it!!! i don’t like being told what to do and i have a feeling you don’t either so just beat it and leave him alone!!! i love micheal and if you have a prob with that then so be it i will have a talk with you!!! here’s my e-mail: jackie09cat@yahoo.com i’m serious why do you want micheal jackson to be embarrassed when he’s just trying to be a good person? it’s over now but still it’s never to late to change how YOU are:)

  42. hannah

    katie has a point and a really good one too!!!!! believe me you’ll regret it if yo keep making fun of him! he has done absolutely NOT’IN WRONG!!!! i’m just sayiN this cuz it’s true but WORRY BOUT YO OWN BIZZ UNDERSTAND COMPRENDO!!!!!!!!! goodness gracious!!! can’t you learn to mind yo own bezwax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz LEARN!!!

  43. Michael Jackson was and is the father of Blanket, Prince, and Paris Jackson to whom he left loving memories and (along with his mother) most of his fortune. This muckracking speculation into DNA is moot, given the law. Get legit, Huffpost. Lying down with tabloids, you’re getting up with fleas.

  44. sera mesmo que macauly e mesmo pai de blanket? queria fazer um teste pegar os rosto dos2 e compara ou entao fazer o teste de DNA e confirmar.

  45. sera mesmo que macauly e mesmo pai de blanket? queria fazer um teste pegar os rosto dos2 e compara ou entao fazer o teste de DNA e confirmar.

  46. Low price and good quality, I like the glow in the dark shoes.

  47. That is good,It is great post for me,thanks for ever

  48. good article,thank you

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