Don’t Interrupt Macaulay Culkin’s Kazoo Solo

May 27th, 2014 // 19 Comments
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When people ask me what I do for a living, most of the time I just lie and say I’m an abortion doctor because here’s the Internet’s top trending story right now which you’ll notice has nothing do with gun control, the disturbing influence of the men’s rights movement, or unchecked mental illness. Instead, it’s about Macaulay Culkin walking off stage after some drunks interrupted his kazoo solo while performing with his pizza band. That’s the shiny object everyone’s looking at which I will now shamelessly dangle for click dollars. Via The Nottingham Post:

The Dot to Dot festival where the band appeared started onside, singing along to the entrance music of New York, New York – Culkin’s home city – and excited to see the Home Alone star in the flesh.
But after just one number, they began to split and boos started emanating from the audience.
One fan who didn’t want to be named said: “It just sounds awful. I can’t believe he is doing this. Why bother? It must go down well in America or something.”
Soon the boos turned to booze, with members of the public throwing full pints of beer at the stage, soaking both the band and the audience.
Culkin stayed calm as security guards went into the audience to forcibly remove the culprits, saying: “Why are you throwing those? I’d rather drink them!”
But after one more tune, the missiles became unstoppable and when two hit him and his pizza-box playing band member, he called it a night.
Culkin said: “That’s the end of the show. Goodnight,” before grabbing his colleagues and leaving the stage.

Later, the French would call the performance “les incompetents” before demanding Macualay Culkin look at what he did, “the little jerk.” There would also be reports of Fuller drinking all the Pepsi, however, these would remain unconfirmed as of this post.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Dude’s been all kinds of fucked up since Mila stopped soloing on his kazoo.

  2. merrekesh

    iş love him and felt really terribly sorry when i heard the news. hope he’s ok.

  3. OK, I’ve heard the rumors that a troubled farmer child actor was starting an underground band about pizza. Judging by the photos, it all sounds plausible, but now you’re telling me that the band’s music is bad? Erroneous.

  4. If there is anything true and good left in our land, the beer-flingers will band together, bill themselves as the Irony Busters, torment hipster venues across the land, and end their tour at the Chateau Marmont by squirting white chocolate liqueur on James Franco while he’s wearing a Batman mask.

  5. Wait…We were supposed to take his kazoo pizza band seriously?

    Macaulay went in one step from “making ironic commentary on Hollywood fart sniffing douchebaggery” to just being a fart sniffing douche.

  6. Macaulay Culkin New Band The Pizza Underground
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Hipster Jim Morrison. Like, play “The Crystal Ship”, dude.

  7. Felton P. Horstvelt

    was the beer cold?

  8. JimBB

    Oh, sure, you can play a kazoo in minutes. But it can take DAYS to truly master!

  9. wtf

    That’s not a kazoo.

  10. What “disturbing influence of the men’s rights movement” are you talking about? Are you one of those people who confuse Pick Up Artists (PUAs) with Men’s rights activists (MRAs)? Because they’re not even close to the same thing.

    Elliot Rodger frequented an antri-PUA site btw.

    • This is the current “repeat as often as possible and people will start to believe it” line from the RadFem community. Elliot Rodger posted on an anti-pick up artist site, critical of the frat-boy get laid culture. Which is the same as “mens rights Activist” if you squint, and put fingers in your ears, and dont’ give a fuck how how batshit crazy you sound.

      The disturbing part is how many people have picked up the mantra and just repeat it without even considering if it’s true or not.

      • You don’t have to be a a radical feminist (or feminist at all, honestly) to be CREEPED THE HELL OUT by Elliot Rodger’s manifesto. Yes, he targets women, but he also targeted his own 10-year-old step-brother for murder because he *might* one day surpass him by losing his virginity. He was also a virulent racist who foamed at the mouth if he saw a black, Mexican, Indian or full Asian (he was part Asian) lay so much as a finger on a white girl.

        I’m not touching the PUA/anti-PUA/MRA/Elliot Rodger plutonium with a 10-foot pole; people with an ounce of decency, intelligence and an appreciation of women as fully human can draw sensible conclusions about what that Venn diagram might look like.

  11. Whatever ridiculousness is going on here, I have to say that he looks FAR better now that he has greater than 1% body fat.

  12. Macaulay Culkin New Band The Pizza Underground
    Commented on this photo:

    Bullshit!

  13. kery

    i like him!!

  14. richie

    isn’t that scotty from boogie nights?

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