Lynne Spears’ parenting book put on hold

December 18th, 2007 // 66 Comments

Lynne Spears’ book about raising her famous daughters is going to sit on the back-burner for a while thanks to the recent announcement of 16-year-old Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy. The book was to focus on Lynne’s life bringing up two high-profile children despite a humble background in Louisiana, according to People:

“The book is delayed indefinitely. It’s delayed, not cancelled,” says a spokeswoman for Thomas Nelson, which publishes inspirational books and Bibles.

Delayed indefinitely (adj.): Describes a project that will never see the light of day (i.e. cancelled) due to unforeseen, yet kind of predictable, circumstances such as 1. teenage pregnancy. 2. grandchild left overnight at a petting zoo. 3. perpetual vaginal flashing by one’s offspring.

Photo: Getty Images
superficial

  1. Anal Phlegm Munch

    All of you pieces of shit can suck my asshole. It looks menacing at first but you’ll soon find it very accommodating. It smells kind of like dill and rotten meat. It is also very deep and humid.

  2. cindy

    first. first? really. yes. first.

    why’s she wearing ed hardy?

  3. bessie

    We are waiting for this book. BTW Jamie seems to dating with a boy on a nudist dating site called nudistmingle.com. someone saw their profiles with nude photos few days ago.

  4. jl pen

    THIRD

  5. jl pen

    THIRD

  6. Idiot

    I wonder if that spammer knows jamies 16? Idiot

  7. Gerald_Tarrant

    Huzzah, more rich white trash making more rich white trash babies. I’m glad to see that the world is still spinning and everything is going on as normal.

  8. I <3 celebs

    You guys are stupid, am I first? huh huh huh? Go play with yourself.

    I’m not surprised this one is pregnant too. A book about parenting? Seriously? Is it a what NOT do book? Because that would better, how not to raise stupid children to make even stupider mistakes.

    Let’s just hope little sis is a better mom than her older one.

  9. ToTellTheTruth

    Heh, this bitch should have been READING a parenting book instead of trying to write one. Maybe that’s what she was doing while little Lynn was upstairs swingging from chandaliers with her hillbilly legs spread apart getting pregnant….

  10. ToTellTheTruth

    Heh, this bitch should have been READING a parenting book instead of trying to write one. Maybe that’s what she was doing while little Lynn was upstairs swingging from chandaliers with her hillbilly legs spread apart getting pregnant….

  11. Auntie Kryst

    This sucks, I’d really like to read this book. I’m sure very helpful information like pulling your kids out of school so they can focus on their “careers”. Keep the meal tickets working all the time and ruin their childhood. Way to go Lynne! Your pimp cup runneth over.

  12. kirsten

    @2: I was thinking the same thing when I saw a rich 50-year-old fat Russian woman with a huge gut wearing an Ed Hardy sweater with a bumble bee on it at Costco. Attention people: you look like a tacky jackass wearing Ed Hardy period. You look like even more of a jackass if you are over 25 and you are wearing Ed Hardy. Unless you are Criss Angel, then you just look like a creepy douchebag.

    On a note more relevent to the post: I hope it does come out. I think people will buy it to learn how NOT to raise their children, as well as for general comedy and entertainment purposes. I might even go pick up a copy of “A Mother’s Gift” now.

  13. mememe

    why IS she wearing ed hardy?

  14. RichPort

    So is it okay to whack off to her yet or is it still too soon?

  15. Gerald_Tarrant

    I guess since Britney was competing with Lindsay Lohan for biggest popwreck (Brit is winning by far now) Lynne decided to compete with Dina Lohan for worst parent of a celebretard.

  16. kirsten

    There really can be no question now of why Britney is such a shitty parent. If fact I ALMOST feel sorry for her. I mean how could she raise a child any better, when all she knows about parenting she learned from her momma. And she clearly suffers F.A.S. thanks to Lynne as well.

  17. tight lipped smiler

    I wouldn’t have thought Lynne Spears could read much less write.

  18. kkfun

    She is cuter than her sister. She was said to have a personal account on a millionaire&celebs online service “MEETRICH.COM” with her hot pictures and blogs there. Quite a few fans and hot guys are found in her circle there.

  19. deaconjones

    That guy’s lucky as hell, he legally gets to hit that?? Sweet

    “I can eat a peach for hours”

  20. Racer X

    Parenting book? I lol’d.

  21. IWONKY

    #3 and #18 – #1 is waiting for you…form a line.

  22. cookie monsta

    tragic, just f’ken tragic, will Brit wake up from her delusional coma and realize what she has enabled? As a potential role model/parent? Or is this the last straw in the family feud, that alienates Brit from “them”, and we will have to live (vocariously) thru this next pap tart saga for another 10 f’ken years ????

  23. IWONKY

    Whoa, Brit’s mum looks better than Brit, by the face that is…but she’s the mother that created that nasty tunnel of twatyness on Brit so her’s can’t be much better, maybe a little less crusty and smelly….,

  24. Ooba Gooba

    Great, just great. Now that this has happened, Twitney is gonna get herself knocked up again. NO WAY is she going to let her own little sister take away her headlines. And look for Dina Lohan to start making some noise………little Ali won’t be getting all the ink now.

    My bet for next celeb pregnancy after Twitney (again) goes to Ashlee Simpson.

    I remember the days when a pregnancy meant certain death for a Hollywood career, now it’s used to generate publicity to SAVE one.

  25. TS

    I wonder how many people out there actually know who Ed Hardy is. Or Von Dutch for that matter.

    This Spears family: Worst Family Ever. Lynn Spears should just go kill herself.

  26. IWONKY

    Lynne is wearing Ed Hardy to encourage Jamie Lynne to get a tattoo like Twitney got to cover up her nasty cooch.

  27. havoc

    I bet there’s a whole chapter on gas stations……

    .

  28. D. Richards (Pedophile.)

    Mom-of Britney is such a strong alpha female. A leader. Mothers? You can learn something from Mrs. Spears. Pushing your children to excel at life through their mother’s drive strengthens a child’s character. You don’t want any fuck-ups, do you? No you don’t.

    You know at the begining of Jamie-Lynn-Mother’s book there’s a quote from the bible. And at the end of mother’s book there’s a heart wrenching picture of Lynn Spears and her two wonderful daughters in a grotesquely white toothed embrace. The picture just screams:

    We’re a beautiful white family of three strong women! Look at the smiles on our faces. We’re perfect. Ha!

    Shitty mother’s from all over the world would have seen that and smiled to themselves. They’re so pretty. It must be so nice. “Kelly, mommy wants to enroll you in ballet. You aren’t going to wear your eyeliner to class, sweety? You don’t want people to think that you’re not better than them, do you? Put your make-up on. ‘But mommy it burns my eyes’. You’ll get used to it.”

    Inspiration.

  29. RichPort

    I actually hope she decides to try and abort, so the Christian right and the rest of the Bible bullies can inject this debate into the presidential campaign. The possibilities are endless, with the underage sex between a 19 year old and a minor, the bad parenting, the Brit circus, the pro-life (and usually pro death penalty and pro war) Crazy Christians… it could take a Terri Schiavo-esque aura almost immediately. I mean, it has all the makings of an A&E drama… just think about it: Dakota Fanning as Jamie Lynn… Lindsey Lohan as Britney Spears… the stress of the papparazzi, played primarily by Tom Sizemore and Woody Harrelson, causing to her miscarry… the 83 grandmother from Wichita letting the local reporter know that she’ll gladly adopt the baby, since she’s pro life and all, in full view of her “I Support the War on Terror” bumper sticker… the debate questions:

    moderator: So Mr. Suckabee, what’s worse, Jamie Lynn getting knocked up or the fact that she wants to abort?

    Mike Suckabee: I never saw Knocked Up… I’m a good Christian man… the only abortion I ever would have sanctioned is the pregnancy that spawned my opponent…

    moderator: Ms. Clinton?

    Hillary: Well, Tim, Bill thinks she’s just candy… I mean DANDY… just dandy… and might I add that this presidents failed policies have led to another teenage pregnancy. I have a plan to end all abortion through my Universal Birth Control Plan…

    I better go start on my script right now.

  30. Writers for VH1's Best Week Ever

    Holy shit, we got to end this writer’s strike. This story is the big one, it should be our finest hour! No no no, this just can’t be happening now.

  31. ph7

    Arkansas, fighting West Virginia to regain the title of Hillbilly Heaven.

  32. Leticia Lopez

    What the hell???!!! What the heck is wrong with these kids nowadays? All we need now is Miley Cyrus in a porn video.

  33. Leticia Lopez

    What the hell???!!! What the heck is wrong with these kids nowadays? All we need now is Miley Cyrus in a porn video.

  34. Leticia Lopez

    What the hell???!!! What the heck is wrong with these kids nowadays? All we need now is Miley Cyrus in a porn video.

  35. The White Urkel

    Lynne is now writing a book on not getting pregnant. The title it “How to Teach Your Teenage Dughter to Take It in the Ass and not get Pregnant”

    Oh, and you retards need to quit double posting. You look like a dumb ass.

  36. latty

    okay, please tell me the petting zoo story is fake….

  37. Ooba Gooba

    The only way this could get any better is if Federline turns out to be the Daddy……..

  38. LL

    I can’t wait for Kim Kardashian’s book on virginity, Larry King’s book on marriage and George Bush’s book on statesmanship.

  39. Looks like someone is Master of the Bleeding Obvious around here…

  40. TOP OF THE WORLD, MA!!!!!

    I wonder how old the guy who knocked her up is, and how many years he will spend in jail. Unless he is famous, because then it would be approx. 43 minutes..

  41. conscience lost

    GOSSIP IS EVIL.

    YOU ARE DOING EVIL.

    WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE, NOT MAKING FUN OF OTHERS.

  42. p0nk

    @42 Edna, is that you?

  43. Regular Guy

    Wow!!! Whats next? A “How to Love Your Family” by Charlie Manson or “Clean Living” by John Balushi(Who is AWESOME)Maybe “Safe Sex” from John Holmes. Why would anyone take advise on parenting from this %^&*(#@. WOW!!! People will read anything.

  44. Regular Guy

    Sorry John. Belushi not Balushi. RIP

  45. Gerald_Tarrant

    Dina Lohan and Lynne Spears face off on the next Access Hollywood to see who is the better parent. Special commentator/analyst/judge will be Patty Ramsay. If anyone knows how to whore out their child it is Patty.

  46. Liz

    Did she really leave them at a petting zoo?

  47. RichPort

    #47 – Judging by the news, it seems like she left ‘em at the fucking zoo…

  48. Bamajag

    I’d actually LOVE to own a copy of Lynn Spears’ book on parenting so I could use it as a prime example of what NOT to do….lest my spawn turn out to be a herd of crotch-flashing train wrecks with a bastard-child in the tummy before they’re even eligible to vote…or drive by themselves in many states…

  49. D. Richards (Saint.)

    #1?! I love a deep ass. I saw this video at ‘XNXX.com’ where this woman stuffed( the thing had to be at least eighteen inches long) a huge dildo all the way in to her ass. I mean it was amazing. The video starts out with the tool already embedded in her ass. It’s barely sticking out. You’re thinking to yourself, “this isn’t so great. Looks like any other woman self satisfying her ass.” That is until she starts pushing the thing out of her ass. It keeps coming and you’re wondering what kind of slight-of hand she’s mastered; and it’s being gently pulled. And it’s still coming. Eighteen inches! No lie. I was almost in tears it moved me so much.

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