Lynne Spears’ book coming in September

June 12th, 2008 // 46 Comments

Lynne Spears’ parenting memoir “Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World” is officially set to release in September. A spokesperson for the publisher confirmed the news to People:

“When Jamie Lynn got pregnant, it was put on hold,” says a spokesman for Thomas Nelson, which publishes inspirational books and Bibles. “Lynne never stopped working on it because she wants to express her love for her children and tell their stories through a mother’s eyes.”

“Through the Storm” is catchy but it lacks zazz. Here are some alternative titles that, I think, will have Lynne’s book flying off shelves:

“What Do You Mean You’re Pregnant?: A Mother’s Struggle to Overcome Struggling”

“Have You Seen My Daugther’s Vagina?: One Woman’s Journey Through Womanjourneyhood”

“Where’s Mommy’s Taste? Raising Your Child Star Right in a Godless World.”

Photos: INFdaily.com
superficial

  1. noneyobeezwax

    i’d go with “exploiting your children for dummies”

  2. mimi

    FISH SUKS!

  3. Lola

    i feel so bad for this family….. major screw ups…. but nothing compared to the lohans or the simpsons family…. oh well, best wishes to them all and i hope they don’t kill each other in the process

  4. noneyobeezwax

    btw- i find this whole FRIST!! deal to be very anti-climatic. i was really expecting boobies or something to pop up on my screen. very dissappointing.

  5. nipolian

    A GRACO Swing and Bounce………..I see they have the babysitter lined up.

  6. Anyone, yes anyone – who buys this book should immediately be shot in the head and sterilized so they can’t breed.

    Seriously – does anyone believe this hillbilly can “write” a book when we all know no one in that family can even read!

  7. havoc

    I see she’s going head to head with Linda Hogan for sainthood.

    Let’s get it on!

    .

  8. googlethis

    Funny picture. Is she a midget, or is it just that you Americans have RIDICULOUSLY F’ING HUGE CARS?

    Way to ruin the planet, morons. But no, I’m sure that trip to Starbucks was entirely worth it.

  9. absolute2

    She looks beautiful. She is my favorite actrerss. I love her. I saw her profile on millionairedatingsite “”"”"W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m”"”"” last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.

  10. Auntie Kryst

    Jamie wants to tell her kids story through a mother’s eye.. How does this madam, whoops I mean “mom”, see past the dollar signs??

  11. chaz

    i recieved an excerpt from the book.

    ” brittnay started drinking at a very early age, everyone might think it was while she was on the disney channel but it was much earlier than that. while she was in my womb she would kick and punch for me to drink vodka so that she could have some, i tried using wine, but she would keep kicking till she got vodka….. i reckon.”

  12. noneyobeezwax

    sorry #10 – that wasn’t aimed at you. from all the fuss made about being the first poster to an article, i thought something special would happen.

  13. Boston_Freek

    #2 Mimi go heap on some more blue eyeshadow ya fatty. And learn some remedial spelling while you’re at it. Stupid.

  14. It's me Fuckers

    #9 you’re a fucking idiot. Go die.

    The name of the book should be: Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame, Fucking up your kids, how to raise a your daughter to become a teen mom.

    No one wants to hear from her. She is like Hulk Hogan, she has no idea how to accept responsibility for the fucked up kids she has raised.

  15. googlethis

    #15. Congratulations. You must be the winner of the Albert Schweizer Humanitarian Award 2008. You know, for all of your philanthropic work, your selfless giving to your local community, and obviously for the beautiful, stable family you have raised.

    Or maybe you’re just a bitter wastrel who plays with his tiny dick while eating Cheez Doodles.

    Too close to call really.

  16. LSU1910

    More alternate titles:

    “Trailer Park Cinderella”

    “Growing Up: A Guide for Grandmothers in their 30s”

    “Oops, I did it Again”

    “Attention Whore: How to get your Picture on the Superficial” – foreward written by Heidi Montag

  17. MUMMY NEEDS MONEY FOR SUNGLASSES and CLOTHES?

  18. Spazzy McGee

    Forget that someone thinks that Lynne Spears’ parenting skills are worthy of publishing … Is she a jockey or did she have a special truck made for her?

  19. #13, oh, yeah, I didn’t expect boobies, but some confetti and a clown would be nice once in a while..

  20. Boston_Freek

    #16 You’re an ass. You don’t even make any fucking sense. Go shove your Cheez Doodle bullshit talk up your hairy non-American rear end. Besides, the only person allowed to wax eloquent on this site would be Randal our Pink Unicorn so don’t even try.

    Am I nominated for your useless humanitarian award too? Prick.

  21. Big cars/ Small Penises/ Huge gas prices

    Hey Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck think BIG OIL is cool! We got more guns and bombs than you guys so we drive bigger cars. What’s that? We are not only broke but massively in debt here in the good ole USA? Our economy is crumbling and the Republicans deny it and in fact offer up an old man who knows nothing about economics as our next leader? Really? You’re kidding?

    I guess the middle class will die and we will all be paupers again (just like before the “Age of Oil”. Get used to being hungry Americans. At least we will all have abs and won’t be so fat! Yay!

  22. fotowhore

    #8 – that’s the first thing I thought. That car looks F’ing HUGE (or she’s teeny tiny)

  23. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  24. JBM

    What is up with middle age women and ankle bracelets?!

  25. JBM

    What is up with middle age women and ankle bracelets?!

  26. snarkymalarky

    Excerpt from Lynne’s book…”So like ya know, ya’ll, then I like got my daughter to give that head exec…well, head…and then she suddenly had this multimillion dollar contract. Things were going great until my cash cow…I mean my cow…I mean my daughter…went coo-coo for coco puffs…or wait, no…was it cheesy poofs? Cheetos! Thats it y’all! Them cheeters! Yeh, well she just kind of went nuts…oh yeh, Kfed’s nuts…those little bastards, I’d like to snip them sons a beotches right off with some pliers! …Anywho…so my other daughter, I was turning her into another little milk money, but then by the grace of God she got immaculately concepted; it was a miracle, I tell y’all…a little baby jbesus.
    …ok I’ll shut up already, I can’t seem to stop dagnamit!

  27. Other possible titles:

    “Talent Is Overrated… and So Is Class!”

    “Smoking While Pregnant… A Requiem”

    “Everything’s Wet and Blows in Louisiana”

    “The Big Easy: From the Trailer to the Tailor”

    “Alcohol and Infant DTs: The Myths Meant to Keep You Thristy”

  28. Delicious Alcohol

    More possibilities

    “Bitch Better Have My Money, Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong.”

    “Make Money While Your Kids Get F’d in the A”

    “Who The Fuck Wants Well Adjusted Children?”

    “Taze’m In The Snatch If They Won’t Get On Stage, And Other Effective Motivating Techniques Learned From Joseph Goebbels”

  29. Kristen Dei from LA (Louisiana that is)

    #17…funny! Geaux Tigers!

  30. Scarlett

    @ #3, you forgot about the Hogans.

  31. Harry Ballzack

    “TELL HER KIDS STORIES THROUGH A MOTHERS EYES” ??????
    WTF !! HER KIDS PARENTS ARE MORONS !!! WHAT’S SO HARD TO SEE ABOUT THAT ?????
    That doesn’t even make fucking sense you 2 tons of douchebaggery !!!
    What a freaking money ploy. And not even a well hidden plea for ca$h.
    A know it all book by a know nothing mom. Laughed at by the masses and soon to be scarfed up by their tweenies. Thus making this poor excuse for a parent a thou$andaire.

    Gawd I Love This Country !!! {{ (_|_) }}

  32. wet newspaper

    Jamie Lynn has been pregnant for about 11 months now.
    It’s all a publicity stunt because she doesn’t get as much media attention as her lunatic sister. :-)

  33. kati

    nice $500 purse, lynn……..

  34. mamafart

    she leaves major logs in the bowl – i’m talkin’ swirlers.

  35. Truth doctor

    #8: It’s 100% none of your business what we drive, nor where we go. If you truly think that SUV’s are ruining the planet then you need a clue. Badly.

  36. googlethis

    21 & 36. Every word coming out of your shite-filled pieholes just proves my point.

    It is my business and you are knuckle-scraping morons.

    At least when Britain ruled the world they were popular doing it. Times change, and your myopic world view will come back to bite you in the ass time and time again.

    Fuck off and die.

  37. Mutton Chop

    Teaching Jamie To Get Pregnant And Brit To Expose Her Cooch In Public – The Inside Scoop? The Inside Scoot?

  38. Mutton Chop

    Mmmmmm, MooCow Purse

  39. Boston_Freek

    #37 You still suck. Go quote your thesaurus elsewhere. And you still don’t make any sense. In fact, get the hell off this site. It’s MY right to tell you that.

    Yeah……when Britain ruled the world….that’s funny…….if you’re so fucking smart maybe you can all knock your heads together and figure out that dentistry would be a wonderful thing to consider. Ever hear of a toothbrush? Cuntwad.

  40. Hey Boston,
    Why are you so angry? You guys won last night and one more
    win and you’re golden.
    Number 25-it’s the white trash trifecta-ankle bracelet, tank top
    AND wedge flip flops ALL on a woman over 40! Guess Walmart
    was having a sale.

  41. googlethis

    Are you still here?I thought I told you to go fuck yourself.

  42. “Raisin’ Whore-tards, Louisiana Style”, by Lynne Spears.

  43. tinadarling

    Another Title?

    “Like Mother Like Slut: Memoirs Of A Child Prostitute”

  44. Donna

    It amazes me that any parent can allow underage drinking if she is supervising and letting the boyfriends stay in the bedroom. ALSO encouraging her daughter to date a football player because it will make you popular??!! Popular, why is that important. How about trying to raise a strong daughter with values and character. What is wrong with her and where was the DSS. Poor Britney, who has she had to support her growing up and what kind of values did she instill upon her. I hope nobody purchases this book as Lynne Spears does not deserve any money from this. Lynne, your push for stardom and popularity ruined your kids lives!! You should be ashamed of yourself

  45. Donna

    It amazes me that any parent can allow underage drinking if she is supervising and letting the boyfriends stay in the bedroom. ALSO encouraging her daughter to date a football player because it will make you popular??!! Popular, why is that important. How about trying to raise a strong daughter with values and character. What is wrong with her and where was the DSS. Poor Britney, who has she had to support her growing up and what kind of values did she instill upon her. I hope nobody purchases this book as Lynne Spears does not deserve any money from this. Lynne, your push for stardom and popularity ruined your kids lives!! You should be ashamed of yourself

Leave A Comment